Author Archives: Whole Person

Have fun, play, stay busy

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Have Fun, Play, Stay Busy

from Aging Beyond Belief by Don Ardell

Author Don Ardell

Author Don Ardell

Enjoy as much dessert (play) as possible, without delays. This is because you may not last a long time, especially if you are “normal” (i.e., overweight and underfit). Recall this immortal advice from Erma Bombeck: “Seize the moment. Play. Have fun. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”

While the American lifespan is much better now than in 1900 (Life expectancy in the USA rose in 2012 to 78.8 years – a record high) this trend line might not continue. Many experts in life expectancy believe positive trend lines do not take account of the disastrous effects of rampant obesity. So, to paraphrase an immortal line, “Ask not how long I can live; ask how well I can live.” This is where play comes into the picture.

Play will give you energy boosts while reducing boredom and burnout. Broaden your thinking about the nature of play. Think of play as being in nature, communing with the land, fauna and flora, as well as participating in sporting events. All are forms of play. You might derive great pleasure from hiking in wilderness areas or photographing wildlife in the natural world. No need to creat a hierarchy of play with higher, dignified, socially approved and ennobling forms at one end and lowlife forms (e.g., mud wrestling) at another – all forms are useful, provided nobody gets hurt and the horses are not frightened.

Some of my favorite (anonymous) quotes deal with play, particularly when exercise and eating dessert are included as elements of such.

  • Fifty years ago people finished a day’s work and needed rest. Today they finish and need exercise.
  • If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  • I’m in shape – round is a shape, isn’t it?
  • Aerobics defined: A series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starch in to aches, pains and cramps.

And one of my favorites from George Bernard Shaw, “No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”

Well, the lessons seem clear enough: play will do you a world of good. Play all the days of your life, until you die when, for the first time in life, it won’t matter anymore.

Enjoyed this article?  You’ll love Don Ardell’s book, Aging Beyond Belief – 69 tips for Real 69 Ways 6x9Wellness. 

Donald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness, and  Aging Beyond Belief.

Personally, Don is an avid competitor in triathlons and duathlons. He has won many national and three world championships in triathlon and duathlon competitions.

Click here to read more about Don. 

Make Humor Work for You: Telling a Good Joke Well

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Make Humor Work for You: Telling a Good Joke Well

By Izzy Gesell, M.ED, CSPIzzy telling a Joke

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

William James

HOW TO RECALL AND RETELL ANY JOKE YOU EVER HEAR

Barack Obama (insert any politician here) visited a nursing home during his re-election campaign for president. No one seemed to be paying any attention to him as he toured the facility. Feeling a bit frustrated, he walked up to a man in a wheelchair. “Excuse me,” the candidate said, “Do you know who I am.” The patient looked up, shook his head, and replied, “No, I don’t. But if you ask at the front desk, I’m sure the nurse will be able to help you.”

Many of us cannot successfully remember jokes because we don’t know we’re going to like a joke until after it’s over. That’s when we try to memorize it by “rewinding” the tape, but there is no tape in our memory.

A joke is an oral narrative. As such, it requires inflection, physical movement, and expression. A key to successful joke-telling is to report it as if you were telling a story to someone, a story that “really happened.” You can’t memorize someone else’s telling of a joke. You need to improvise, to sound as if you were telling it for the first time. To those that say “I can’t improvise,” I say “balderdash”(or some such word). Unless someone writes a script for you while you sleep and leaves it on your night table, then you, like the rest of us, improvise most of our conversation everyday.

Like Gaul, jokes are divided into 3 parts. Although the parts are not always clearly delineated, they are usually there.

1. THE SETUP is the reason we’re interested in the story. (Ex: Obama visited a nursing home recently in order to drum up support for his health care plan.)

2. DEVELOPMENT is a problem or difficulty that happens. (“Excuse me,” the President said, “do you know who I am.”) Jokes are never about the specific people or places they seem to be about. They are about problems and solutions. That’s why the same jokes keep coming around. I first heard this joke told about President Bush running for re-election.

3. PUNCHLINE is the solution to the problem told from a different point-of-view (In this case, the patient’s). The greater the shift in point of view, the greater the laugh. (“No, I don’t. But if you ask at the front desk, the nurse will be able to help you.”)

When you hear a joke or story you’d like to retell Write down the outline (parts 1-3) in a notebook or PDA or speak into a recorder. The key is to write the punch line down first!!!!
Transfer the outline to a 3×5 card or other system such as computer or journal.
On the other side of the card or construct a story that makes sense for you around the skeleton. Include details such as names, cities, job titles, school.

Practice reading the story to a mirror, into a tape recorder, or in front of your dog or your cat (a dog is better than a cat because at least a dog looks like it cares).

Take the card (or notes) with you, go up to someone and say something like: “I’d like to tell you a joke” and whip out the card.

Read it or refer to it. After the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time you will be telling the joke successfully because you’re not relying on memorization. You can change it around, alter details, and customize it for your audience. As long as you remember the 3 parts, you will be successful.

GESELL’S GUIDE TO GUARANTEED GUFFAW

  • Don’t apologize beforehand.
  • Practice, practice, practice;
  • Have an air of confidence;
  • Try to know your audience;
  • Know you might fail (You’ll get over it!).

You don’t have to make everyone in the audience laugh (unless it’s an audience of one)
If you can only remember 1 of the 3 parts… remember THE PUNCHLINE.

SELECTED HUMOR WRITING FORMULAS

EXAGGERATION FORMULA
Description: Grossly exaggerates some (usually negative) quality of the subject of the joke. Example: The horse was so slow that the jockey kept a diary of the trip. (Henny Youngman)
REVERSAL FORMULA
Description: Punch line is 180-degree reversal of what audience might expect.
Example: I met a bum that told me he hadn’t had a bite in 3 days…so I bit him.
MISDIRECTION FORMULA
Description: Listener/reader is misled as to the outcome of a joke until the final, surprise ending. The punch line forces the audience to look at the situation from a totally different point of view.
Example: They laughed when I picked up the violin. They stopped when they realized I was from the finance company.
CLICHE REWRITE FORMULA
Description: A cliché or saying that has either been modified slightly or presented in a new context.
Example: Wall Street-the land of milk and money.
COMBINATION FORMULA
Description: Combine 2 very different elements and describe the results
Example: The director of Gandhi is making a sequel to Star Trek. It’s called “The Empire Turns the Other Cheek. ”
DEFINITION FORMULA
Description: Funny way of describing a word
Examples: Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Flashlight: A case for dead batteries.

GUIDELINES FOR SUCCESSFUL HUMOR TRANSMISSION or
How to tell funny stuff in a funny way.

USE great material. Have confidence in the material. If you’re not sure its funny or you can’t tell it well, DON”T USE IT!
ENJOY the material. An exuberant manner is contagious.
SET the material up properly. Plants the seeds for the punch line, build it up and sustain interest until the climax.
KNOW your material. Added words hinder progress to the punch line. Groping for words makes the audience lose confidence in you.
EVEN though you’ve used the material 100 times, make each time seem as if you’re telling it for the first time.
MAKE it relevant. Humor that fits the occasion has a much greater chance of clicking.
KNOW your audience. Don’t offend it. Make sure your listeners are in a mood to laugh.
SPEAK distinctly. Make sure your audience understands what you’re saying.
DEVELOP rhythm, good pacing & timing. Timing is mostly about pausing and silence.
AVOID stepping on your laugh. Don’t kill the laugh-line by continuing the story. Let the laughter resonate before you continue. Don’t telegraph the punch line.
TAKE advantage of all the talents and attributes you have. Impressions, characters, odd noises, physical imperfections are humor assets when used judiciously.
TRY out your material on recorder to eliminate errors and allow for polishing the material.
BE likable and enjoyable. The more audiences like you, the better their reaction to you will be.

TIPS & TACTICS FOR USING HUMOR MORE CONFIDENTLY

Find and display a picture of yourself smiling or laughing out loud. Use it as a mirror.
Take notice of what you find humorous. What you smile and laugh at are the clues to where your sense of humor lies. Trust in yourself. Don’t judge your sense of humor solely by the opinions of others.

Gather humor where you find it so you can have it when you need it. Use a notebook or recorder to hold on to the things that make you laugh. Keep a humor diary. You will be amazed at how much laughter comes into your life already.Leigh Anne Jasheway telling jokes

To your memory, an emotion is as real as the actual event. By focusing on the symbols & representations of the things that make you happy, you create REAL feelings. Carry a happiness symbol (photo, souvenir) with you. Look at it for 30 seconds when you need a smile.

Show your sense of humor in subtle but visible ways – the clothes and accessories you wear, what you place in your home or work space, quotes or cartoons in your correspondence.
Search for the happiness in others. Know what makes the people in your life happy. The more you make others laugh, the more joy will come back to you. As you expand your sense of humor and show the world you are willing to take risks with it, you will find others will desire to make you laugh.

Get a humor buddy and regularly connect with that person to share humor.

Laughter dissolves tension because laughter and tension cannot exist in your body at the same time. As a result, humor is a wonderful stress manager.

A sense of humor is more the ability to perceive incongruity or ambiguity in a situation than the ability to tell jokes. A laugh is your body’s way of saying, “aha! I didn’t expect that result, but it makes sense to me now.”

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Celebrate your individuality and your foibles. Learn to laugh with compassion at yourself and the things you do.

“A lot of truth is said in jest.” Therefore the phrase, “just kidding” doesn’t necessarily mean, “I didn’t mean what I said.”

Negative humor, such as sarcasm or ethnic humor, needs a victim. Positive humor fosters equality by focusing on shared experiences.

Humor is a skill. As such it needs to be practiced. The more you practice, the better you will become.

Check out Izzy Gesell’s book and card deck, Playing Along.Playing Along cover

You might also like Leigh Anne Jasheway’s Are You Playing With Me?  Are you Playing With Me

Relaxation Techniques

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Relaxation Techniques

There are several kinds of relaxation techniques that will help return elevated stress levels for you and your clients to an acceptable level. These techniques recognize the mind/body connection, understanding that one cannot be separated from another.

Types of Relaxation Techniques

Breathing is the easiest relaxation technique. Sustained deep breathing will most often can counter the effects of a crisis and the effects of the stress response.

Stretching is a natural. Have the participant concentrate on the place where he or she feels the most tension.

Systematic progressive relaxation involves the intentional tightening and release of the muscles in the body. Each muscle group is attended to individually. Folks will become more aware of where they feel their stress and will eventually be able to address it more easily.

Passive progressive relaxation systematically attends to tension in the various muscle groups of the body. It uses mental images to visualize the draining away of tension from the muscles. It takes some practice before deep relaxation is achieved.

Autogenic relaxation combines deep breathing with images of draining or melting away stress as opposed to tightening and relaxing muscles. It suggests control and mastery of stress and is a good technique for someone who is feeling powerless.

Meditation is somewhat like day dreaming with a purpose. The participant clears his or her mind and then concentrates on a single mental focus.

Guided imagery and visualization takes advantage of the marvelous capacity of the mind to imagine and create sensory images. Participants may be taken to the sea, to the mountains, for a gentle canoe trip. Be careful to choose images that won’t increase the client’s anxiety. Tell the participants that they may open their eyes and come back to reality if the images are uncomfortable.

• Yoga is an ancient system of meditations and exercises.

Begin your relaxation session with a simple breathing exercise. The one below is taken from 30 Scripts for Relaxation Imagery and & Inner Healing, Volume 1, Second Edition, by Julie Lusk. 30 Scripts Vol 2 Edition 2: full of relaxation techniques 30 Scripts Vol 1 Second Edition: Relaxation Techniques

Breathing for Relaxation and Health

By Julie Lusk

Time: 10 minutes

Effective relaxation requires proper breathing. In this script, participants concentrate on their breathing by focusing on what their bodies feel like as they take in deep breaths, hold them briefly, and slowly exhale.

Note: The following information will help your participants understand the importance of slow, deep, rhythmic breathing. You may wish to present it as an introduction before using this script.

Breathe in and out through the nose, not the mouth, unless directed otherwise. The nose filters out pollutants and it moistens and warms the air.

Breathing should be natural, smooth, easy, slow, quiet and complete. Exhaling fully and deeply is the first step to better breathing. It stimulates the functioning of the brain cells and rids the system of stale air. Exhaling helps activate the relaxation response via the parasympathetic nervous system and it lowers the heart rate. Exhaling fully creates ample room for the inhalation. More importantly, taking time for fully inhaling and exhaling slows the breathing rate down. Slowing the breathing rate down causes the brain to get more oxygen. This results in heightened awareness, increased alertness, and calmness. It diffuses anxiety and nervousness.

Oxygenation of the body is essential to physical health and well-being. Breathing abdominally rather than chest breathing, results in a greater transfer of oxygen into the blood for better delivery of nutrients to the tissues. Cells utilize oxygen to create energy. Oxygen is necessary for the development of all organs in the body. Red blood cells are completely renewed every 120 days. The most essential element for accomplishing this reconstruction is not food, but oxygen.

Shallow and irregular breathing can result in the accumulation of bodily wastes and toxins and inadequate functioning of all body organs and tissues. It is also an indicator of stress. Breathing that is slow, smooth, and deep helps alleviate these issues and leads to a clear and alert mind. It also improves the flow of lymph which can improve the immunity system.

Script

Close your eyes…and bring your attention to your breathing…It’s time to begin following the air as it comes in…and as it goes out while breathing through your nose.
Continue feeling your breath each time it comes in…and as it goes out…If your mind begins to wander, just bring it back to feeling and sensing your breath.
Notice if you can feel movement in your belly…your ribs…and your collar-bone while breathing naturally. Take your time.

Pause.

During the next several cycles of breathing, empty your lungs more than usual each time you breathe out. Let all the air out, compressing your stomach to squeeze out all the stale air and carbon dioxide…Letting it all empty out.
Each time you breathe in, take in a nice, full, deep breath and let the air go all the way to the bottom of your lungs. Feel your stomach rise, your chest expand, and the collar-bone area fill.

As you breathe in, your diaphragm expands and massages all the internal organs in the abdominal area…this helps digestion.

As you breathe out, relax…Allowing any tension or knots in your belly to naturally untie…To let go.

Breathing in…Fully and completely.

Breathing out…Letting it all go…relaxing more and more…Breathing heals you…calms you…it’s soothing.

When breathing in fully and completely. Oxygen is entering your blood stream, and nourishes all your organs and cells. It protects you.

Breathing out releases metabolic waste and toxins. Your breath is cleansing you…healing you.

Let’s use the breath in another way and take advantage of the mind-body connection.

Leaders note: Use one or more of the following, depending on the group’s needs or time available. Give participants enough time to experience this.

If you wish, imagine exhaling confusion…and inhaling clarity.
Imagine exhaling darkness…and inhaling light.

Imagine exhaling fear…and inhaling love.

Exhaling pain…and inhaling relief.

Exhaling anxiety…and inhaling peace.

Exhaling selfishness…and inhaling generosity.

Exhaling guilt…and inhaling forgiveness.

You may continue on with a guided meditation. If you choose to end here, repeat the following until everyone is alert.

Stretch and open your eyes, feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, alert, and fully alive.

Click here for a printable version.

Sun Meditation for Healing and Relaxation

By Judy Fulop and Julie Lusk

Time: 10 minutes

In this script, participants experience the healing power and energy of the sun as they imagine it warming and relaxing them.

Script

Please close your eyes and take some time to go within yourself to settle your body, mind, and heart. Feel free to use whatever method works best for you. For example, it may be focusing on your breath, meditating, stretching your body mindfully, or using a sound, word, image, or a phrase as a mantra to become centered…Take your time…allowing yourself to become more and more at ease with yourself.

Pause

Allow yourself to become as relaxed and comfortable as you can…Let your body feel supported by the ground underneath you.

Slowly begin to see or feel yourself lying in a grassy meadow with the sun shining it’s golden rays gently upon you…Let yourself soak in these warm rays …taking in the healing power and life giving energy of the sunshine.

This magnificent ball of light has been a sustaining source of energy for millions of years and will be an energy source for millions of years to come…This ancient sun is the same sun which shined down upon the dinosaurs…upon the Egyptians while they built the pyramids…and it now shines upon the earth and all the other planets in our solar system and will continued to do so.

As the sun’s rays gently touch your skin, allow yourself to feel the warmth and energy flow slowly through your body…pulsing through your bones…sending healing light to your organs…flowing to your tissues…recharging every system…and now settling into your innermost being…your heart center.

Sense your heart center glowing with this radiant energy. If you wish, give it a color…

Take a few moments to allow this warm and healing energy to reach your innermost being…physically…emotionally…mentally…and spiritually.

Pause for 30 seconds

As this healing energy grows and expands, allow yourself to see, feel, and sense this energy surrounding your being…growing and growing…Allow this energy to further fill this room…this building…surrounding this town…spreading throughout our state…to our country…and out into the worlds…and finally throughout the universe…reaching and touching and blessing all.

Pause for 30 seconds

You may share this healing energy and power with anyone you’re aware of right now…Mentally ask them if they are willing to receive this healing energy…If they are…send this source of healing energy to them…giving them the time they need to take in this energy and make it theirs in their own heart center.

Pause for 30 seconds

Now take your attention back to your own heart center…Find a safe place within you to keep this healing and powerful energy…a place to keep it protected and within your reach…Give yourself permission to get in touch with this energy whenever you wish.

With the warmth of this energy in your being, begin stretching, wiggling, and moving…Slowly open your eyes, feeling alive, refreshed, keenly alert, and completely healthy.

Repeat the above instructions until everyone is alert.

Click here for a printable version.

Julie Lusk, M.Ed., RYT, has dedicated her efforts to helping others attain stress relief, wellness and holistic health through yoga, meditation and guided imagery.Julie Lusk author of 30 Scripts, full of relaxation techniques

Julie has a Masters in Education from Virginia Tech.  She is a National Certified Counselor and Registered/Certified Yoga Teacher.  Julie was a Licensed Professional Counselor in Virginia for 20 years.

Julie has taught yoga since 1977 and is certified to teach a variety of styles ranging from gentle to vigorous yoga.  Yoga Alliance awarded her the highest credential available.  She teaches locally, nationally and is a teacher trainer.

Her previous careers include Regional Director, Mercy Holistic Health and Wellness Centers (Cincinnati, OH), Assistant Dean of Students of Roanoke College (Salem, VA) and Director of Health Management, Lewis-Gale Clinic (Salem, VA).

Julie’s volunteer efforts in community health promotion earned recognition from the US Surgeon General and the Governor of Virginia.

Julie is available as a business and conference speaker and consultant to groups and individuals.  Her books, recordings and other materials are plentiful.

Link to Julie’s website: www.wholesomeresources.com

Check the catalog for relaxation techniques on CD.

Playing Games Breaks Down Barriers by Leigh Anne Jasheway

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You probably already know, or at least have a gut instinct, about why playing games with a group of people is a good idea. But you may have to deal with a manager, conference organizer, continuing education credits coordinator, or other serious type who needs to be convinced that playful games and a playful attitude will serve a legitimate purpose.

For all the serious, reserved, tentative, grim, somber, critical, scared, and sometimes fun-impaired people you may have to talk into being playing games (including, on occasion, yourself) are some of the major reasons play is important as a communication technique:

Fun sells and games are fun!

Advertisers know this. That’s why you don’t see hundreds of ads for beer presented with pie charts and a guy in a suit standing behind a podium. Preschool teachers know about fun too. You won’t catch them delivering a lecture to three year-olds. In fact, according to The National Institute for Play, all gifted parents, master teachers, and wise executives know that making things fun (and playing games are an easy way to do this) improves your chances of having an impact.

Audiences listen better.

When the message is presented with a unique and fun style folks listen better. Even when the subject material is boring, laughter, play and games can help improve listening and learning. In a study done by Randy Garner, Ph.D. at Sam Houston State University, students were more likely to recall a statistics lecture when it was interjected with jokes and funny stories. Laughter and fun engages audiences, whether they’re students, professionals, or members of your bowling league. And when an audience is engaged, they’re actively listening instead of writing out their grocery lists or playing solitaire on their laptop computer. Needless to say, it is more likely that they’ll actually learn something and remember it longer.

Games and play encourage the audience to be participants in the learning process.

Rather than sitting back and letting an expert do all the work, they become active in learning. Not only does it make it easier for learning the message you’re trying to teach, but this more active learning style may transfer over into other parts of their lives.

 When a presentation is fun, your audience may choose to learn more on their own afterward.

Wouldn’t it be great if you left a group of people curious to find out more. So curious perhaps, that they went right back to their offices and Goggled whatever it is you were discussing. Mark Shatz, Ph.D. and Frank LoSchiavo, PhD. have studied humor as a teaching technique for years. They found that when professors used jokes, cartoons, games, and top 10 lists in an online introductory Psych course, their students were more likely to log on to the class website afterward to learn more than when the lecture was presented drier than week-old toast in Phoenix. The same thing can happen to you.

The laughter generated by games helps circulate blood more effectively to all the organs, including the brain.

Since oxygen is carried by the blood, laughing boosts memory, cognition, and a whole host of other fancy brain-related words that basically mean we think better after laughing. And if you think about it, when is a group of people more likely to laugh – when someone in a suit drones on about something or when someone talks about the same thing while wearing a chicken suit and daring the audience to answer questions or playing a game to reinforce their point.

Just as when we were children, playing games together helps us bond and feel we belong to a group.

We’re much more willing to listen to messages, especially messages that might otherwise upset us, when we feel somehow connected both to the messenger and to the rest of the group. In fact, it has been my experience that the more you can get the group to be part of delivering the message itself (e.g., by using a game show format), the more likely it will be accepted. After all, we’re all more likely to believe something if we feel we played a part in its creation.

Playing improves the health of everyone involved.

Physical play provides aerobic conditioning, helps build strength, and improves the immune system. Visual and verbal games improve brain function and memory, and if accompanied by laughter, have all the same benefits as physical play. Studies of play in young mammals, including human children, also shows that play helps us learn to cope with the unexpected, improves resilience, and builds self confidence.

Games also help grown-ups express certain emotions.

Playing games helps adults express things that they usually keep bottled up and hidden away from their coworkers, bosses, customers, clients, etc. Being able to vent hostility, frustration and anger in acceptable and fun ways, not only allows people to move forward, it makes it more likely that in the future they will be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Research has shown that a playful spirit and a sense of humor that can be stimulated by games are two of the most important characteristics of highly effective teachers.

Both high school teachers chosen by their students as Teachers of the Year and trainers who receive the highest evaluation responses share these characteristics. From personal experience, I know this is true. The success of my career is based on the fact that my style of presenting messages is rated highly by everyone (even those who were originally afraid of the whole idea).

This should be enough to convince almost anyone that a more playful, fun approach to presenting almost any topic will be effective, memorable, well-evaluated, and possibly have a long term positive impact on how well an audience learns in the future. That’s the name of the game, folks.

The article above is from Are You Playing with Me playing cover.inddby Leigh Anne Jasheway.  Read more about her here. Her book is available from Whole Person Associates. Click on cover for more information.

Leigh Anne’s website: www.accidentalcomic.com/

Wellness or Well-Being?

Should Wellness be replaced by Well-Being?

By Michael Arloski

Fly into wellnessThe term “Well-being” may have come along at just the right time. Public speakers and marketers are re-branding “wellness” as “well-being” by saying that well-being is more complete, more holistic. Well-being, they say, incorporates the whole person, their environment, their financial picture, their career, etc. On the one hand it’s too bad that we have to invent a new term to refresh our memory of what wellness really is. On the other, with the way that corporations and organizations have allowed their wellness programs and products to deteriorate into overly simplistic efforts, based on single-measurable-variable pieces of research, well-being may be the kick in the pants that reminds us about “Whole-Person Wellness”.

Twenty to forty-year veterans of the wellness and health promotion field hear speakers appear to create false distinctions between the terms well-being and wellness. And yet, are they indeed false distinctions?

Has the term wellness been worn out? It has certainly been misused and abused. Here in Northern Colorado a wellness center is probably a medical marijuana dispensary. Google the word and the number one listing on that search engine is always the Wellness brand of dog and cat food.

What may be more disturbing though, is how we have come to look at wellness in ways that jettison its original holistic meaning. In an effort to be more scientific and evidence-based, we have embraced research efforts to show the effectiveness of our approaches to wellness and health promotion. While this research is important and has yielded much of great value, too much of it has been focused on what could be called the measurement of a single variable. As we’ve tried to apply the scientific method to this cause we’ve oversimplified our approach far too often. When we want to study the health behavior of human populations the challenge is daunting. 

It’s easy to control extraneous variables in a “Skinner Box”*. Any social scientist will tell you
skinner-boxthat people are a lot more complicated. The result has been too many health behavior studies measuring one aspect of activity, one blood lipid level, one blood sugar level. While those little building blocks all help to assemble the scientific foundation we need, too much is concluded from them. In our online digital world a simple study with twenty subjects, run one time, has its results proclaimed as headline news.

Following the medical world, where the threat of litigation for malpractice hovers over every practice like a vulture, we have sought to provide only programming that is evidence-based. That means, as Dee Edington stated at the 2013 American College of Lifestyle Medicine Conference, “if you only do evidence-based [programs] you’ll never innovate!”  The temptation is to dumb-down our concept of wellness to just physical fitness and nutrition. The temptation is to be happy that we got someone to walk three times a week and call it good.

There Is Nothing New Under the Sun

 

Dusting off the yellowed pages of my edition of Donald Ardell’s High Level Wellness: An Alternative To Doctors, Drugs and Disease (1977) I found my long-time friend Don referred to his colleague and fellow wellness pioneer, Jack Travis, as Jack and he defined wellness: “Travis believes that wellness begins when an individual sees himself or herself as a growing, changing person. High level wellness means giving care to the physical self, using the mind constructively, channeling stress energies positively, expressing emotions effectively, becoming creatively involved with other, and staying in touch with the environment.” Ardell posed five dimensions of wellness,
Bill Hetler six http://www.nationalwellness.org/?page=Six_Dimensions), and Travis, including a number of psychological dimensions, built a model with twelve  dimensions. (http://www.wellpeople.com/Wellness_Dimensions.aspx)

Travis wellness wheel
Clearly Wellness has always been meant to be a holistic concept as I stated in 1994 in my article “The Ten Tenets of Wellness” (published in Wellness Management, the newsletter of The  National Wellness Association, which also can be found in Chapter Two in Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2nd ed.

Indeed we’ve seen it all before. The term “Mindfulness” has been skillfully re-packaged by Jon Kabat-Zinn and others. Studying today’s version of mindfulness someone like me is transported back to about 1968 when I was in college and reading books like Bernard Gunther’s Sense Relaxation Below Your Mind. Of course everything we’re talking about here is based on practices that go back thousands of years in the traditions of meditation, Yoga, Tai Chi, and more. 

Yoga Pose

While in my doctoral program in the 1970’s, I was blessed with the opportunity to learn deeply about biofeedback and how to apply it in working with stress-related disorders. I specialized in that for many years as a psychologist and served as the President of The Ohio Society for Biofeedback and Behavioral Health. The beauty of the research done by biofeedback pioneers Elmer and Alice Greene (http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Biofeedback-Elmer-Freen/dp/0940267144 and http://www.consciousnessandbiofeedback.org) was to use recently developed technology to study the consciousness practices of Indian Yogis, monks, and others. By examining their subject’s brain waves and various physiological indicators they ended up validating the legitimacy of such practices. Thus we see that today’s mindfulness has its roots in research completed under other names as well.

Today’s dynamic “Positive Psychology” movement has invigorated the field of psychology and is providing the sound research evidence that is validating what the Humanistic Psychology folks have been saying since the 1950’s and 1960’s. The “Human Potential Movement” of the late 1960’s and the work of Abraham Maslow, Virginia Satir, Carl Rogers, Rolo May and many others, emphasized looking at human behavior from a positive growth perspective instead of the usual clinical/pathological perspective. Saying that Martin Seligman founded the Positive Psychology Movement may be accurate in recent history, but he did so standing on the shoulders of these earlier giants. Our field of coaching also built its self on these same shoulders and from its inception always took on a positive psychology, strengths-based approach to working with people.

A Return To Whole-Person Wellness. Looking at wellness programs merely as cost-containment strategies has caused us to develop a tunnel vision ROI-only view. Some companies today are spending more money on their incentives to get people to take a health-risk assessment, etc. than they are spending on their wellness programs! When we view employees only as statistical units that drive up healthcare costs, we down-size  or dumb-size our thinking.

The well-being approach would have us view employees as whole people who can contribute to the mission and purpose of our company and do so through creative, higher performance that happens when they are well in this holistic sense. The term to shift to is VOI (Value On Investment).

More Than Just Corporate Health Promotion. When we step outside of the corporate world we see wellness, and now well-being, at work in our healthcare settings, communities, schools, places of worship, and among groups and individuals who want to live their best life possible. We are realizing the powerful effect that connection and community provides for our
Kids eating greenshealth and well-being. We are seeing how having safe green spaces to walk, play and exercise increase the health of communities. Part of our approach to wellness/well-being is to step outside of a myopic corporate perspective and remember that not everyone works for a company with the benefits of a wellness program. Being inclusive of under-served populations in both rural and urban areas, Native American/First Nations Reservations, and others means maintaining this big-picture view of what wellness/well-being means.

If Well-Being helps us remember to work with the whole person and view them from a holistic perspective – great! If the term refreshes programs and generates engagement – wonderful! Bring on Well-Being while we remember what it really is – Whole Person Wellness.

* A Skinner Box is an apparatus for studying instrumental conditioning in animals (typically rats or pigeons) in which the animal is isolated and provided with a lever or switch that it learns to use to obtain a reward, such as a food pellet, or to avoid a punishment, such as an electric shock.

Dr. Arloski is the author of the seminal work Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2nd Edition, and Your Journey to a Healthier Life.

Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change

Your Journey to a Healthier Life Cover

 

Making Guided Imagery Work for Your Clients

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Working with guided imagery

By Julie Lusk

Everyone is different, so each person will experience guided imagery uniquely. These individual differences should be encouraged. During guided imagery, some people will imagine vivid scenes, colors, images, or sounds while others will focus on what they are feeling, or experience it as a concept. A combination of sights, sounds, and feelings should be incorporated into the imagery. With practice, it is possible to expand your participants’ range of awareness.

By careful selection of images you can help deepen their experience and cultivate their awareness in new areas that can enrich their lives. For instance, a person who is most comfortable in the visual area can be encouraged to stretch his or her awareness and increase his or her sensitivity to feelings and sounds.

Working with guided imagery is powerful and it is up to you to do so responsibly and ethically. Leaders with little or no training in guided imagery can use scripts with emotionally healthy people. Be careful, however, when presenting themes and techniques that are unfamiliar to you. Since people respond in a variety of ways to visualization, avoid generalizing about the benefits of any given script. Your training  will help you deal with groups composed of people who are emotionally ill or especially fragile.

Preparing the group or individual

Physical relaxation reduces anxiety, activates the mind-body connection, and enhances the ability to focus on mental images. Some type of physical relaxation sequence should be used prior to every guided meditation.

Breathing properly is essential for complete and total relaxation. Unfortunately, very few people take full breaths, especially when under stress. When a person consciously uses deep breathing correctly, stress is reduced and the mind can remain calm and stable. It is important that people focus on their breathing, with full deep breaths through the nose.

Before beginning any guided imagery, briefly describe the images you will use and ask if they make anyone feel uncomfortable. People who are afraid of water may find images of ocean waves to be frightening rather than calming. Be prepared with an alternate image. Let participants know that if they become uncomfortable, they may, at any time, open their eyes and tune out or change the visualization.

As you read a script, people will follow you for a while and then drift off into their own imaginations. They will usually tune you back in later on. If they know this in advance, they won’t feel as if they are failing by being inattentive. Tell them this is normal and to let it happen.

Choosing the right atmosphere 

Select a room that has comfortable chairs for sitting or a carpeted floor for lying down. Close the door and shut the windows to block out distracting noise.

If possible, dim the lights to create a relaxing environment. Low lights enhance the ability to relax by blocking out visual distractions. If the room lights cannot be controlled to your satisfaction, bring along a lamp or night lights.

Adjust the thermostat so that the room temperature is warm and comfortable. If the room is too cool, it will be hard to relax and remain focused. Suggest that people wear a sweater or jacket if they think they may get cold.

If distractions occur—a noisy air conditioner, traffic, loud conversations—try raising your voice, using shorter phrases and fewer pauses, or incorporating the sounds into the guided meditation. For example, you might say, “Notice how the humming sounds of the air conditioner relax you more and more.” Or, “If your mind begins to drift, gently bring it back to the sound of my voice.”

Using your voice 

Speak in a calm comforting, and steady manner. Let your voice flow. Your voice should be smooth and somewhat monotonous. But don’t whisper.

Start with your voice at a volume that can be easily heard. As the guided imagery progresses and as the participants’ awareness increases, you may begin speaking more softly. As a person relaxes, hearing acuity can increase. Bring your voice up when suggesting tension and bring it down when suggesting relaxation. Near the end of the guided imagery, return to using an easily heard volume. This will help participants come back to normal wakefulness.

You may tell participants to use a hand signal if they cannot hear you. Advise people with hearing problems to sit close to you. Another option is to move closer to them.

Pacing yourself 

Read the guided imagery slowly, but not so slowly that you lose people. Begin at a conversational pace and slow down as the relaxation progresses. It’s easy to go too fast, so take your time. Don’t rush.

Give participants time to follow your instructions. If you suggest that they wiggle their toes, watch them do so, then wait for them to stop wiggling their toes before going on. When participants are relaxed and engaged in the imagery process, they have tapped into their subconscious (slow, rich imagery) mind—and they shouldn’t be hurried.

When you’re leading the meditation, stay in your conscious (alert and efficient) mind. Pay careful attention to all participants. You may have to repeat an instruction if you see that people are not following you.

To help you with your volume and tone, pace and timing, listen to a recording of yourself leading guided imagery.

As you reach the end of an imagery, always help participants make the transition back to the present. Tell them to visualize their surroundings, to stretch, and to breathe deeply. Repeat these instructions until everyone is alert.

Caution 

Do not force people to participate in anything that may be uncomfortable for them. Give ample permission to everyone to only do things that feel safe. Tell them that if an image seems threatening, they can change it to something that feels right or they can stop the imaging process, stretch, and open their eyes. Emphasize to participants that they are in total control and are able to leave their image-filled subconscious mind and return to their alert rational conscious mind at any time they choose.  Likewise, clients may want to explore what feels uncomfortable to them in the safety of the experience.

Advise participants that it is not safe to practice imagery or visualization while driving or operating machinery.

Two excellent sources of guided imagery are 30 Scripts for Relaxation, Imagery and Inner Healing, Vol. 1 & 2, Second Edition by Julie Lusk. Julie has updated the text to reflect today’s more conversational style and today’s topics.

30 Scripts Vol 1, 2nd Ed

30 Scripts Vol 2, 2nd Ws.

Card Decks for Therapy Sessions

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Using Card Decks in Therapy Sessions

Ester Leutenbergby Ester Leutenberg

Liven up your groups and teach by doing: use cards decks with open-ended questions. Integrating knowledge while playing a card game! WPA’s cards correspond with our teen or adult mental health books.

These unique cards can be used in a variety of ways with groups exploring one or all of the corresponding books’ topics or on their own. Specific cards can be used in conjunction with identified pages, groups of cards can be used to address the theme of a section in the book or all the cards can be used to explore the overall concept of the topic. Individual cards can be selected to begin a specific session or used as an activity during a predetermined intervention.  The group facilitator may wish to pre-select cards on a specific subject choosing those that are most appropriate for the members within that particular group session.  The facilitator can also encourage participants to select the topic of discussion and then select the appropriate cards.

Group Arrangement – Group members can be seated in a circle with group facilitator holding the cards or around a table with cards placed in the middle of table.  If group members have a difficult time with verbal communication offer options like writing answers on paper prior to sharing.  You can be creative in establishing a safe environment for sharing.

Number of Participants – Recommended group size is 4-14 to allow all members the opportunity to share and interact with each other.  If there is a larger group you may consider breaking into smaller groups for sharing.  Upon returning to the larger group ask each small group to share what they learned from their small group discussion.

Format of the Cards – The cards are written to address each of the sections of the corresponding book.  While some cards could be used to address a specific concept on a given page, the majority are written to initiate conversation around thMental Health and Life Skills Card Deckse concept of the section.  Numbers on the bottom right corner of the cards correspond to the corresponding section of the book.

Activity Suggestions – The use of the cards is limited only by the creativity of the group leader.  The unique quality of the corresponding cards is you may use a section of cards to discuss a specific topic or all of the cards to discuss the topic of each book  as a larger concept. The follow is the most traditional manner using cards for group facilitation.  Group interaction and personal disclosure can be enhanced by using cards to begin a group session, tackle a difficult subject in the core of group process or to create a thoughtful closure.

Prior to using the cards set the group framework. To maintain a safe atmosphere highly encourage participants to share but to not force them to respond.  Options may be to ask the participant if they would like to select another card or tell them you will give them more time to think and you will come back to them later.

  1. Introduce the subject of the group, (example: “Relationships”) and discuss the predetermined goals for the group session.
  2. Pass the deck of cards to your left or right and ask the group participant to select a card from the pile, read the card silently, and think about their answer.  Then ask participant to read the card out loud and share their answer with the group.
  3. Continue passing the deck, repeating the process until all members have had a chance to respond to a card.
  4. Some of the cards might lend themselves to being passed around with everyone responding or reading it out loud and asking for volunteers.
  5. It is often beneficial for the facilitator to be part of the group and also select a card.  It may be helpful if they select first to set the example and expectation that everyone can share or just be intermingled within the group sharing.

Process – The magic of card decks is that processing happens through the answering of the questions so a formal processing session after using the cards is often unnecessary.  However, if ensuring that the group intent is being communicated asking a few general questions to the group may be beneficial.

  1. What is one thing you learned about_____(the topic identified -example: Stress)
  2. What is one thing you learned from another group member about…(coping with Stress)?
  3. What is something you learned about yourself?
  4. What is a topic you would like to explore?
  5. What is a goal you could set for yourself that reflects something discussed in this session?

 Alternatives

  • While the cards are most often used for group facilitation keep in mind they can also be extremely helpful in individual sessions when establishing a therapeutic relationship or initiating conversation.
  • The cards can be used as great journal questions or a Theme-for-the-Day.

Cards encourage thinking, getting in touch with feelings and communications.

Emotions, the window into your inner stressful world

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Tuning into your emotions

How many people would you guess wander through life with little awareness of their own behaviors and subsequent consequences? Bull in a china shop comes to mind.

To some degree we are all self-ignorant. We all have blind spots and miss tons of clues as to how our own reactions often cause more of our stress than the event we’re reacting to. Tuning into your emotions can expose many of these blind spots so you have a fighting chance of understanding how your reactions contribute to your stress.

An underappreciated window into your stress reactions is emotions. Psychotherapists are well aware that emotions are vital in identifying what’s bothering you. You can learn about your inner emotional world to help you navigate your outer world.

Tune into your emotions to become aware of which situations and people trigger your stress response. These reactions are always fueled by anger and/or fear-type emotions: impatience, irritation, intimidation, jealousy, insecurity, etc. Once you recognize these emotions kicking in it’s a short hop to feeling the tension they create in your physical body.

Who in your life easily triggers your stress emotions? When these emotions are swimming around in your body, what do you feel physically: Tension in your arms and legs? A queasy stomach? Pay attention until you can easily see the connection.

Once you make the connection between a stressful person and what they do and your emotional and physical signs of tension in response to it, you are closer to being able to choose a healthier response.

An exercise in emotional reaction

Try this: choose a person or a situation that consistently triggers your stress emotions. Choose one you can avoid for a while with no negative consequence:

  1. Make the connection between your emotional reaction to a stressful situation or person and your body tension that develops from it;
  2. For one week, avoid the situation or the person and pay attention to any greater sense of calmness and freedom from tension;

Developing your “observing self”

Doing this develops your “observing self;” you can observe your emotional reactions rather than be tossed around by them. Watching and witnessing your internal emotional states make the stressor less personal so you can dampen some of your drama and be more objective, which in turn, helps your body relax.

Over time, developing your observing self can also help improve your health. You’ll become more aware of your blood pressure, physical tension, and other symptoms. Consciously observing yourself can also lower the stress hormones thereby protecting your body from the ravages of stress.

Your observing self requires your conscious awareness of whatever you have chosen to focus on. Mindfulness teachings also advise you to observe WITHOUT JUDGMENTS.

Judgment of yourself or others is a fertile area for the observing self, as well. Observe without trying to change. Simply notice. Right behind your negative judgment, “I’m so stupid,” are your negative emotions aimed at yourself. It’s the same when the judgment is aimed at another person. The judgment triggers your anger/fear emotions. Close on its heels are your physical signs of stress and tension.

Your observing self can help break your dysfunctional, habitual and emotional reactions by distancing you from them giving you a brief moment to decide how you prefer to respond. This puts you into the driver’s seat of your own life rather than being a victim to your life-long internal insecurities. I call this a “space of time” between the stressful event and your reaction to it. With this little space of time a well-developed observing self can choose a more appropriate response.

Your defensive reactions (aren’t both fight and flight defensive in nature?) are much if not most of what feeds your physical symptoms and resulting physical and emotional maladies. Every desire to choke someone puts pressure on your heart and adversely affects you in a multitude of other ways.

In other words, it’s not just that jerk who puts stress on you, it’s also your own defensive reactions. And the only part of stress you can control is your own reaction.

Your growing observations of your own automatic, emotional and defensive reactions increase your power to decide if you want to change them for your own benefit. Your choice will influence whether your blood pressure shoots up or calms down, whether your internal inflammation grows exacerbating your arthritis or subsides and calms it. It’s always your choice and yours alone.

Let Your Body WinJacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.  Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at https://wholeperson.com/store/let-your-body-win.shtml.  Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Stress in the Workplace

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Sources of Stress

People experience stress in the workplace in three primary ways. When these sources of stress are ignored, they can lead to accidents in the workplace, injuries, and even more stress. Stress from one of these sources can be difficult to overcome, but stress from more than one of these sources can be debilitating.

  1. Stress generated from within a person: Stress can be self-imposed through low self-esteem, anger, feelings of hopelessness, feelings of helplessness, anxiety, excessive negativity, the need to be in total control, perfectionistic tendencies, jealousy and hostility. For example, people who are perfectionistic often bring stress upon themselves by being too careful and worrying about tasks being perfect.
  2. Stress in the WorkplaceStress generated from the environment: Stress can be felt from the result of the work environment including overly demanding supervisors, low pay, poor working conditions, noisy work environments, too many commitments required for the work being done, long hours, lack of technology for employees to accomplish the work, lack of a safe place to work, whining co-workers, and complaining customers. Any of these external stressors can negatively affect the job performance of an employee. For example, a person who must work with an abrasive supervisor will feel uncomfortable most of the work day.
  3. Stress from a poor job fit: Sometimes stress is felt by employees who do not have a good fit between their interests and skills and the demands of their jobs. Many people find that a good job fit is critical in being productive and being able to cope with stress. For example, a person who is not satisfied working a repetitive job may find a lot less stress in a job that is creative and flexible.One of the reasons that many employees are unable to cope with the stress of the workplace is that they live by a set of outdated myths.
  • The best employees work the longest hours. In fact, working smarter rather than harder is more productive.
  • I need stress to meet deadlines. In fact, people who manage their time well and who are not pushed to deadlines are more productive and do a better job.
  • You will not get ahead in the workplace if you are not worrying about your work 24/7. In fact, your capacity to do well occurs when you are stress-free, not stressed about work.
  • The business is at fault. In fact, blaming the system does not help people to be less stressed and more productive. People who take responsibility for themselves and their work are the least stressed and more productive employees in any business.

Coping-with-Stress-in-the-WorkplaceAbove are just a few of the rationalizations that people tell themselves about work, stress, and productivity in the workplace. In order to deal with all of the various types of stress in the workplace, it will help to understand workplace stress and acquire tools and techniques for managing it. The Coping with Stress in the Workplace workbook provides assessments and self-guided activities to help participants learn useful skills for coping with the various forms of stress in the workplace.

-From the Introduction of Coping with Stress in the Workplace, by Ester R.A. Leutenberg & John J. Liptak, Ed.D.

Encourage Positive Behavior with Your Actions

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Train others how to treat you

“I train people how to treat me.” -Source unknown.

Jacquelyn FergusonThis quote absolutely changed my life decades ago. It taught me to stop fussing and stewing over what others were doing that was upsetting to me and take a close look at what I may have been doing to encourage their behavior. Don’t get me wrong, this quote isn’t saying you are responsible for others’ behaviors, it’s simply saying that we are all partly responsible for all outcomes with all people because of our own behaviors.

For example, a coworker aggressively walks all over you and you passively allow it. What are you training that person to do? To walk all over you. Instead of blaming your stress on that person, consider what you are doing to teach that person that it’s OK to treat you that way.

Here’s an example of a work team of five people and how four of them taught the fifth person how to treat them differently. Four of the team members were constantly frustrated with the fifth person who was a hothead and exploded regularly leading the four others to give the hothead whatever she wanted at the moment of her outburst. In other words, they were teaching her to blow up to get her way!

After each episode, the four would gather and grumble about how disruptive she was. The team members’ blaming the hothead and complaining about her kept them from examining their own role, thus responsibility, in the interaction. Excessive blaming and complaining discourage taking responsibility for your own choice of reactions.

These four team members ultimately decided to do something totally different in response to the hothead. They agreed the next time this happened, one of them would speak privately afterward to her to warn her that the next time she lost her temper all the others were going to end the meeting with her, leave the room and finish the meeting elsewhere without her. Sure enough, another day and another blowup occurred. All four walked out together and finished the meeting without the hothead. This only happened a couple of more times before the hothead learned to control her temper with her teammates.

In your interpersonal stress, are you training others to treat you in an unacceptable manner? To get a better handle on your responsibility, follow these steps.

  • First, identify your desired outcome. In this example the four team members said their goal was for the hothead to quit yelling. But this goal is beyond their control because it requires the hothead to change. She is beyond their control. They re-worded their goal to make its accomplishment within their control: to conduct their meetings without caving into pressure and to think clearly to make necessary decisions.
  • Identify options: to avoid caving into her pressure and to create an atmosphere where they could think clearly to make decisions, they could:
    • Keep the meeting going ignoring the hothead
    • Get up and leave to conduct the meeting elsewhere
    • Talk to the hothead and ask her to stop (which they had done on numerous occasions)
    • Take the problem to their mutual boss
    • Etc.
  • Choose an option(s) that will best lead you to your goal.

Change Your Behavior

This sounds so simple and of course it often isn’t. The key is to assess what you are contributing to the stressful outcome and change your behavior in a way that leads you toward your goal. This teaches others to treat you as you want to be treated and puts stress reduction more within your reach since your reactions are within your control.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at https://wholeperson.com/store/let-your-body-win.shtml. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

2nd Edition of Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change

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New Second Edition!

In 2007 Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change became the first comprehensive health and wellness coaching book published. Written expressly for the practitioner, it quickly became the foundational book of the field and has remained so to this day. Updated in 2009 it has served as the go-to book for independent coaches, health care and wellness professionals, and is often used as a text for college and university classes.

I’m now proud to announce that our fully revised and updated Second Edition of Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change has been released by my publisher – Whole Person Associates (https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml) Copies are available through Whole Person (with quantity discounts available with bulk orders), and through Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Just look for the beautiful new color design on the book cover image.  2nd Ed Cover - Med

Since the last update of Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change our company, Real Balance Global Wellness Services, Inc., (http://www.realbalance.com), has trained thousands and thousands of health and wellness coaches around the world. I’ve personally trained many, taught advanced wellness coaching classes, done mentor coaching with students on the ICF Path, reviewed hundreds of case studies and listened to hundreds of coaching session recordings. I drew upon what I learned from these experiences in my revisions of the book and feel that the new edition provides enough new material to warrant recommending the purchase of this second edition by those who already have the first. Many pages were deleted and the new total is over fifty pages greater than the old edition…over 300 pages!

All of that teaching and mentorship helped me realize where coaching students, and practicing coaches, need more guidance when it comes to coaching and to wellness coaching in particular. I found the places where students get confused, where they are unsure how to proceed, where they get stuck, where their progress slows down. Those thousands of hours taught me what coaches need to know more about.

In the new edition there is more on the actual coaching skills that wellness coaches need to be effective. Both the mindset, the facilitative conditions of coaching that create “coaching presence”, and the techniques that increase coaching effectiveness are elaborated upon. I found that coaches often need help going beyond exploration and must have skills and methods to “forward the action”.

The most important and complete revisions are found in Chapter Eight. We are told over and over again that the Wellness Mapping 360° Methodology ™ is what coaches find most valuable and in this new edition we’ve refined it much further. So many coaches just do “goal setting” with their clients. Here we show how to really co-create a fully integrated wellness plan for lasting lifestyle change.This structure and methodology allows the coach or coaching program to “get behavioral about being holistic”. We work with the whole person, including mind, body, spirit and environment (real wellness), and yet “put legs under it” with a behavioral process and tools that allow for greater tracking, accountability and support.

Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change has touched lives around the world. It is so gratifying when I hear from people across the United States and Canada about how powerful the book has been for them, both personally and professionally. Additionally phone calls, emails and wellness coach training class registrations show up from Australia, Brazil, Portugal, the Philippines, Russia, Poland, Ireland, and all over. I am both touched and excited to know that through its international distribution, we truly are CREATING ALLIES FOR A HEALTHY WORLD.

Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2nd Edition
(https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml)

Michael Arloski, Ph.D., PCC, CWP

Caregivers and Caregiving

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About Caregivers:

Complete Caregiver Support GuideFormer First Lady Rosalynn Carter stated,

“There are four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

This includes virtually everyone!

A Brief History of Caregiving

In past generations, it was customary for people to have large families. Members of an extended family often lived within a few miles of each other. Few women had jobs outside the home, so the elderly and infirm were cared for within the family. Both the primary caregiver and care-receiver had the support of nearby relatives, friends and community.

Circumstances are different today. Families are typically smaller and are often scattered across the country and around the globe. A much larger percentage of women work outside the home. People live longer, often with chronic illnesses. These factors make caregiving much more complicated than it was in the past.

The early stage of caregiving is often handled by family members or by friends who live near the person needing help. They begin by simply doing what they can and often, as time passes, assume the caregiver role without realizing it – caregiving isn’t a job that many people choose to sign up for.

The tasks caregivers perform can vary widely, from transporting a child with disabilities to school each day, to doing someone else’s laundry, to helping with medications, to dealing with insurance companies. Caregiving can be temporary, as when someone is recovering from an accident, or long-term, as when caring for a person in need of significant ongoing support.

Caregivers

Illustration by Amy L. Brodsky, LISW-S

In an attempt to define family caregiving, the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) developed a list called “Caregiving Is.” The text below was inspired by that list.

Caregiving is as diverse as the individuals needing it. It can be 24-hour care for persons who cannot manage daily tasks of living or are suffering a significant level of cognitive loss. It can be preparing for an uncertain future because a spouse has a progressively disabling disease, even though that person is still able to function quite well. It can be temporary, last several years or last a lifetime.

Caregiving means being a person’s healthcare advocate. It requires learning to work with doctors and other health care professionals and to navigate government healthcare programs. It can also be learning what it means\ to die with dignity and making sure that the care-receiver’s wishes will be honored.

Caregiving is stressful work. Most people have had no training or education regarding the many aspects of caregiving when they begin helping their care-receiver. They discover that caregiving is assuming tasks they never dreamed of undertaking. It can be learning about medications, wheelchairs, lifts and gadgets that help struggling fingers button a shirt. It can involve doctor visits, calls to 911 and long days and nights in a hospital waiting or emergency room.

Caregiving challenges people to go beyond their comfort zone. It is having conversations on topics most people hope they will never need to address. It is grappling with questions that often have no easy answers. It is loving, giving and sharing. It is accepting, adapting and being willing to keep on going.

Caregiving forces individuals to deal with change. They are often required to re-evaluate finances, living conditions and/or their personal work situation. They will need to make compromises and readjust again and again as the circumstances change.

Caregiving is an endless search for balance. It is seeking the middle ground between doing too much for the care-receiver and doing too little. It is trying to find time for personal needs – and hopefully, even wants – while providing for another’s needs. It is recognizing that one cannot do it alone – one can and should ask for help, respite care and time off for a vacation to recharge through activities that help maintain a sense of self.

Caregiving is a strain on relationships. Even the best of relationships can be challenged by the stress of caregiving. The demands on one’s time and energy may leave family members or friends feeling neglected. Moving a parent into a family home – or moving into the parents’ home – can be a source of contention between couples, and between parents and their children. Finances and other emotionally charged issues can also cause tension between adult children of an ailing parent.

Caregiving can be a lonely world. While the tasks and experiences of caregiving may be similar in nature, surprisingly they are not what unites family caregivers. According to the National Family Caregivers Association, the common bond of caregiving is the emotional impact.

Those caring for others often feel lonely, isolated, and unacknowledged for all their work and sacrifice. They can experience anger and resentment toward family members and others who carry on as usual, while they of necessity give up much of their normal life. They grieve the losses in their own lives as well as and the loss of the person their care-receiver once was as they watch him or her decline. They often experience depression, sadness, pain, the need for normalcy and regret for what they might have done had circumstances been different. They also may feel guilty because they sometimes wish it were over.

Caregivers can find comfort in learning that such feelings are perfectly normal and in finding ways to cope with them in support groups and within these pages. They can also find hope in the possibility of connecting on a deep level with their care-receiver and creating closer bonds with family members. In fact, discovering positive meaning in the tasks of caregiving is crucial for the emotional health of everyone involved.

Caregiving can also be moments of joy and fulfillment.

  • Happiness when seeing one’s child with a developmental disability learn a new skill.
  • Joy when a spouse’s face lights up, expressing thanks for being his or her partner on a difficult path.
  • Closeness during nighttime conversations about love, life, death, and what’s most important.
  • Satisfaction in the knowledge that one has provided something for the care-receiver that has
  • made life better.
  • New recognition of one’s inner strength and determination.
  • Gratitude for simple things, for each new day.

-from The Complete Caregiver Support Guide, by Ester R.A. Leutenberg and Carroll Morris, with Kathy Khalsa, OTR/L

Falling Down

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Aging Beyond Belief, Tip 58

Stability, Agility, and Balance: Falling down is not good for you, so take steps to prevent it

Donald Ardell

Donald Ardell

Falls are usually no big deal during the early and even middle years of life. Some are, of course, but most of us, especially guys, grow up playing sports where falling is part of the game, as is the process of actually inducing falls among each other (like when playing football). But, falling down for senior adults, particularly those with limited mobility to begin with, is a serious matter. Doing so may lead to broken bones, which will interfere with your active wellness lifestyle and put a crimp in your social life. Consider these precautions:

  • Create a safe home environment that reduces the risks of falls.
  • Install devices that make life easier, if and when needed, such as grab bars and railings in strategic locations.
  • Make sure your home and work environments are well lighted.
  • Have your vision and hearing checked regularly.
  • Keep plenty of Viagra or other safe, performance enhancing aids on hand, just in case. (No, this tip has nothing to do with preventing falls.)

Aging Beyond BeliefIn the first sentence of this tip, above, I used the phrase “senior adult.” What, exactly, is a senior adult? When does the word “senior” officially attach to the word “adult” in references to you? There is no official word on this or consensus, but here are indicators of when you have gone over to “the other side,” so to speak.

  • When you wife says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love, you reply: Honey, I can’t do both!”
  • When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes— and you’re barefoot.
  • When the porn you bring home is called “Debby Does Dialysis.”
  • When your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore, but just holds you up to the light.
  • When a babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker sets off the garage door.
  • When you remember the time the Dead Sea was only sick.

(These lines have been attributed to varied comedians, largely because they stole them from each other.)

Naturally, falling down is no laughing matter; serious efforts should be made to prevent such disasters. Outside areas can be designed to be safer, as well, though this requires public action beyond the initiative of individual seniors. Examples of safe designs are smooth and attractive walking paths that separate cyclists, skaters and rollerbladers. Of course, some senior adults ARE bikers, skaters, and rollerbladers, but such senior adults are vigorous and less needful of protection.

The number one safeguard against falls is to create, sustain, and continuously fine-tune a healthy lifestyle. This will enable you to enter senior adulthood in top form and to extend the period of quality life to the greatest extent possible.

However, even if you are the wellest person on earth or a serious candidate for such an award, if ever one should be created, the fact is you are still going to grow old, eventually—assuming you don’t get hit by a bus or carry genes programmed to do you in before you reach a state of semi-frailty, senility, or worse. And no matter how much you exercise to build bone and cardiovascular strength, remain flexible, work out vigorously on a daily basis to insure muscular support for bones, and otherwise do all that self-management skill building and behavior invites, at some point these suggestions will prove beneficial.

-from Aging Beyond Belief, by Don Ardell

Stress Relief for Kids

Stress Relief for Kids

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Two activities to help with Stress Relief for Kids.

The following activities are designed to be read aloud very slowly and clearly. Use a calm, quiet voice and pause a few seconds at the end of each sentence. Your listeners will need plenty of time to enjoy every step of the experience without feeling hurried.

Be sure to end each activity with some gentle suggestions such as, “Begin to stretch like a cat; open your eyes very slowly; come back to a sitting position when you feel ready.” For the guided imagery activities I recommend a warm, carpeted area and low lights.

I suggest doing all these activities yourself before trying them with others.

These directions serve only as a guide for the reader. You may want to change the wording or the length of the activity. Use your creativity to expand these images as
you wish.

You may want to tape record the directions and/or play quiet music in the background.

Many of these activities can lead very naturally into creative writing and art experiences. Encourage group discussions and sharing of feelings afterwards.

Help children learn to direct themselves and each other in these activities.

I sincerely hope that you will enjoy participating in these creative relaxation experiences.

Down the Stairs

Belly Balloon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Complete Yogic Breath: Dirgha Breathing

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Julie Lusk

Julie Lusk

Complete Yogic Breath: Dirgha Breathing

Dirgha is pronounced DEAR-gah

Summary: This breathing technique is done with long, slow, deep breaths while focusing on the lower, mid, and upper portions of your chest. This allows for the fullest breathing possible and will improve respiration, circulation, and even digestion. The complete breath will soothe your frazzled nerves, clear your mind, and will replenish your life force.

Controlling the volume, duration and frequency of the inhalation, the exhalation, and the pauses between each breath enhances prana, the energy that supports and sustains the life force. Breathing becomes slow and refined.
~~Yoga Sutra 2.50

How to practice the complete yogic breath / dirgha breathing

Either come into a comfortable seated position with your spine erect or lie on your back. It is easier to learn this while lying on your back.

Breathing through your nose is optimal because it prepares the air for the lungs by filtering, warming and moistening it. However if your nose is blocked, breathe through your mouth to the degree that it is necessary.

Begin with a full exhalation to expel stale air and carbon dioxide and make room for a full, deep inhalation. A slow and complete exhalation also activates the relaxation response. When exhaling, allow the breath to flow out of the lungs in the most relaxed and natural way. Just before the end of the exhalation, contract the abdominal muscles slightly to squeeze more residual air out of the lungs and to empty them more completely.
Take time to fill your torso completely while inhaling. To do so, first relax and release the abdomen. Feel the muscles in the abdominal region expand as the air comes in. Continue inhaling, while expanding the lower chest and ribs and then the upper chest until the collarbones rise slightly. Feel each section expanding naturally in a wave-like motion from the bottom to the top. If it is hard for you to feel this, watch it happen.

Continue breathing deeply while keeping the rest of your body relaxed. Let your breathing be smooth, even, and uninterrupted. After you are accustomed to breathing fully and completely, practice regulating your breath so your inhalation and your exhalation are equal in duration. In other words, breathe in to the count of four and breathe out to the count of four (om one, om two, etc.). This is called a 1:1 ratio. When this is easy and natural for you, start lengthening the exhalation to activate the relaxation response. This is done by breathing in to the count of four and breathing out to the count of eight. This is called a 1:2 ratio. Remember not to strain or struggle.

Practice the complete breath frequently throughout the day. Doing so will improve your lung
capacity and will reward you with the gifts of mindfulness.

If you notice feeling lightheaded or dizzy, lessen your effort until these sensations pass, then try again. Your system is probably not used to this new ratio of oxygen to carbon dioxide yet. If you feel the need to gasp for air while breathing, you are trying too hard. Let the air stream flow easily and fully.

Please note that it is important that your abdominal muscles expand and inflate while inhaling. This is due to the action of the respiratory diaphragm as it raises and lowers during breathing; therefore, there is no need to purposefully or mechanically use your abdominal muscles to inhale. Just watch a baby breathe and you will see this happen. This is the correct way to breathe and it will optimize all the benefits of respiration.

You are a reverse breather if you feel your belly pull in while inhaling and you are urged to make every effort to correct this faulty breathing pattern. Allowing the belly to expand rather than pull in when inhaling can change this pattern. Reverse breathers are prone to chronic tension in the upper body, especially around the jaw, neck, upper back and shoulders. It can contribute to mental confusion, heartburn, indigestion, bloating, and gas.

Chest breathing, also called paradoxical breathing, occurs when you primarily breathe with your upper chest restricting the movement of the breath in the abdomen. This is a very inefficient way of breathing because it does not allow for full oxygenation. Chest breathing triggers the flight or fight response and this results in feeling on edge or anxious most of the time. Chest breathers are more prone to hypertension and heart disease. It also restricts the movement and circulation in your vital organs in the lower body and leads to chronic tension in the back, shoulders and neck.

The solution for reverse and chest breathing is to practice breathing deeply and fully while consciously allowing the belly to move out on the inhalation and in on your exhalation. It will help if you lie on your back, place your hands on your belly, and practice natural abdominal breathing as described above.

Adapted from Yoga Meditations book & CD set by Julie Lusk.

Message in a Bottle – Dealing with Divorce

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An activity for children dealing with parental separation or divorce.

Have the children write a letter to their parents, addressing their thoughts on the divorce or separation. Encourage them to write whatever emotions they are feeling, questions they would like answered, etc. After the letter is complete, the children can place their letters in a plastic bottle which will then be sealed. They may either recycle the bottled letter or take it home with them to reflect upon or share with their parents if they choose to do so.

The exercise below is taken from the book, Children and Stress.

Message in a Bottle Exercise

Life and Death in a Small Town

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Brian Luke SeawardHow do you explain death to a little child?

Using words, which parents think their children will understand, they often describe death as a journey or trip where a person just doesn’t come back. The death of a house pet often provides teachable moments for children as they try to process the difference between life and death, animate and inanimate, and the here and hereafter. The meaning of death through old age or an accident is already somewhat difficult to explain; death from murder or suicide pushes the limits of grace in a teachable moment. Of all the events played out on the human stage, the death of someone close to you is cited to be the most stressful episode anyone can experience.

In the fourth grade, I had a good friend name Brendan Silly. Brendan was a shy, quiet kid. He never spoke out in class. He never did much to bring attention to himself. He did confide in me that he hated his last name. That was attention enough. He was teased unmercifully. Still water runs deep. What Brendan may have lacked in extrovert qualities, he made up for with intelligence. He was the kind of kid who always knew the right answers. During recess, we would hang out and talk, kick a soccer ball, or just walk around the schoolyard property. Looking back it seemed to me that Brendan was a troubled soul. Decades have passed and I am often reminded that you can see someone every day, at work, at school, and never really know what goes on in their life. Such was the case with Brendan.

One day I came to school and noticed that Brendan wasn’t sitting at his desk. He didn’t come the next day either. On the third day, the teacher made an announcement. She said that Brendan wouldn’t be in class anymore. She never mentioned his name again. I was a little confused, but thought perhaps he had moved away. It would be like Brendan not to say much about this. Getting him to talk about much of anything was like pulling teeth.

I remember shuffling home that day, sad that I had lost a friend. I walked into the house to overhear my mother on the phone. Her voice conveyed a sense of shock. I heard her mention Brendan’s last name and the words murder and suicide. At that point she saw me enter the kitchen, said she had to go, and hung up the phone. I stood there with a blank look on my face.

That afternoon I received my first lesson about death. I don’t remember the exact words my mother used, but as delicately as she could, she explained to me that Brendan’s father had taken his life, but not before killing his wife and two children. I would never see or hear
from Brendan again, she said.

I have thought of Brendan many times over the years, particularly when similar events make the headlines. The act of violence makes as little sense to me now as it did years ago. Not long ago, in preparing a presentation on the healing power of humor, I learned this: the word silly comes from the Latin word ‘selig.’ It means blessed or holy. I took a moment to reflect back on my friendship with Brendan. I wish I could have told him then what I learned about being silly. I think he would have liked its meaning. From this experience I have also
learned much about tolerance, for one never truly knows another person’s experiences, which can greatly affect mood and personality.

Perhaps the greatest lesson is that there are many circumstances and catastrophes, which make absolutely no sense. Try as we might, we can find little or no meaning. Some may say “it is God’s will,” but this leaves us with little consolation. There is still a void where there was once life, pain where there was joy. Devastation such as plane crashes and earthquakes or even that of a murdered child deepens the sense of loss. In time, the wounds will heal, but they lend very little to our understanding of “why.” It is fair to say that we will never have the answers to all of life’s questions, such as these. Yet the void is never filled by staying still. We must move on.

-from Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backward, by Brian Luke Seward.

Whole Person has a new home!

After many years in the same office space on Michigan Street in Duluth, Minnesota, Whole Person moved into a new home in March. We’re now happily settled in the historic Carnegie Library building on 2nd Street in Duluth.

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Cleaning to the Beat

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An activity using music as a motivator for children to do chores

“Cleaning to the Beat” is an activity from the book, Children and Stress, by Marti Loy.

The activities found in Children and Stress use a format that includes a title, purpose Children & Stress Coverstatement, objectives, timeline, activity description, step-by-step instructions, and discussion questions. The activities help children learn:

• What stress is and how to gain a sense of control over it.
• What coping strategies work now and in the future in managing stress. • How to change perspectives, regroup, and regain control during periods of stress.
• How to engage in relaxation activities that regain focus, calm emotions, and manage anxieties.
• How children, parents, and all family members can work together to create a calm and healthy home environment. Cleaning-to-the-Beat-Activity Cleaning to the Beat Activity

Develop high “self-efficacy” to be in the driver’s seat of your own life

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Social psychologist, Dr. Albert Bandura, coined the term “self-efficacy” to describe your beliefs about your ability to influence the events in your life. Another way to think about this is having overall high self-efficacy puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. It assures you that you can largely handle what comes your way and to be effective in sculpting your life in desirable ways.

My own self-efficacy in handling life’s challenges is generally quite high. I believe I’m competent overall and able to learn what needs to be learned to handle situations that are foreign to me. But when it comes to fixing things, my mechanical self-efficacy is very low. It wouldn’t occur to me to try to fix something broken. I’d just turn it over to someone who has demonstrated their own “fixer self-efficacy,” my husband to be exact. His self-efficacy is very high in fixing even those things he’s not familiar with because he believes that virtually all things constructed can be figured out. He goes about fixing something he doesn’t yet understand by studying how it was constructed and almost always comes up with a solution. But his self-efficacy in handling other situations is as low as mine is in fixing things. This is all very normal.

It makes sense, then, that your self-efficacy in dealing with stress is hugely important. If you believe you can handle a stressor well you will and with less stress. Your focus will be on figuring it out rather than worrying that you can’t handle it. If you believe you can’t handle it, you’ll likely handle it less well and with more stress. High self-efficacy decreases stress because it increases your perception of control in your challenging situations.

Throughout this article I have put in bold and underlined font anything to do with the bottom line of self-efficacy: Beliefs. To increase your self-efficacy you must identify your limiting beliefs, challenge them and ultimately replace them.

My self-efficacy wasn’t always high. As a student it was quite low. My senior high school years were filled with mostly C and D grades with multiple failing slips each quarter. College was better but still mediocre: mostly Cs, a few Ds, Bs and As. Entering graduate school was terrifying for me.

Studying psychology as I was, I decided to apply to myself what I was learning about Cognitive Psychology and the beliefs one has. I paid attention to my obvious anxious thoughts (representing my beliefs) before and during classes, which was displayed through my nonexistent eye contact with professors, stuttering when called upon, sweating at the drop of a hat, etc. It was obvious an intervention was necessary.

My first step was to increase my conscious awareness of the negative thoughts circulating in my head regarding being a grad student. This is always the first step: Increasing conscious awareness of whatever you’re trying to change in yourself. I pinpointed some interfering beliefs:

  • I don’t belong in grad school because I’m a terrible student.
  • Who do I think I am being here with my poor history in school?
  • I’ll never learn all of this stuff!
  • Etc.

Next, I challenged these beliefs with factual evidence not just Pollyanna optimism. It was true that my high school and undergraduate grades were less than stellar. So I looked elsewhere for evidence of my success. I reminded myself that:

  • I come from an intelligent family so some of that must have rubbed off on me.
  • I was very successful in my 27 months as a Peace Corps volunteer in Colombia.
  • Every job I’d ever had was very successful, even when I had no previous experience in whatever it was.
  • When I have applied myself in the past I have done well.

From that day forward, I arrived at my classes early before others arrived and sat alone and repeated affirmations to myself over and over again based on my evidence that I could do well:

  • I belong here.
  • I learn easily.
  • I’m working on all assignments and learning this fascinating information.
  • I’m doing well on tests.
  • Etc.

After “reprogramming” my beliefs with new and still legitimate beliefs, little by little my learning anxiety was replaced with focus on the class material. Before I knew it, I was immersed in learning and began to let go of my limiting beliefs. After a couple of months I not only believed I belonged in school and I would do well, but I became my advisor’s protégé. His support and guidance were invaluable to me not only as applied to learning but to life in general. I came to understand that I am very competent in life in general and in charge of my own life.

Which of your beliefs are limiting you? Why not challenge them? Put yourself into the driver’s seat of your own life and drive in the direction you want to go.

-By Jacquelyn Ferguson, from her blog Stress for Success