Two Monks and A Woman

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There is an expression, which says, “where there is ego, there is stress.” That’s why sages throughout the ages have offered the same advice to deal with ego-produced stress: to detach, release, and surrender the ego. Most of us, however, hang on, and cling to stress-producing thoughts, which, in fact, no longer serve our purpose. Prejudice, guilt,
grief and doubt, to name a few, have a heavy gravitational pull on the human soul. Hanging on to old thoughts, attitudes, perceptions, and beliefs stunt our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. While at first they may be useful to get through a given situation, old perceptions gather weight as we attempt to move forward with our lives. Some perceptions act like roadblocks, disrupting the journey altogether. To break the cycle, we must constantly remind ourselves to let go of the perception, and hence let go of the stress.

To remind myself, I always like to keep this story in mind. Two monks were walking from one town to the next on a humid summer day. In silence, they walked for miles under the hot sun along a graveled path. Late in the afternoon, they sat down on the grass and listened to the sounds of water cascading over stones in a shallow riverbed. If the monks kept their pace, they would reach their destination before sunset. After a short while they got up and resumed their trek. Soon they came upon the remains of a washed-out bridge. Built several years previously, it had been destroyed in the spring floods. Without thought, the first monk stepped into the water and proceeded to make his way across the river, careful of his footing; the second monk followed ever so cautiously.

Upon reaching the far bank, the first monk looked up to see a woman approach him. “The bridge is washed out and I cannot make it across and I must get to my village before dark. What am I to do?” she cried.

The first monk offered to carry her back across the shallow moving water. Picking her up, he carefully secured his step with each foot until he placed her down safely on dry land. Then he turned around and forded the stream once more to join his fellow traveler.

The two again walked for miles in silence until the first monk paused for a moment and then sat down. The second monk joined him by his side and began to talk.

“Brother, we have taken vows of chastity. How could you pick up that woman and carry her as you did? You have forsaken your vows,” he admonished.

The first monk answered, “Remember, we have also taken vows of service.” Then he paused for a moment and then said, “Brother, I placed that woman on the banks of the river several miles ago. It is you who still carries her.”

Carrying around useless stress is a heavy burden to both body and soul. Remember to travel light on your journey of life.

-From Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backward, by Brian Luke Seward.

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

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Leigh Anne JashewayThe talented Taylor Swift has a great song called Mean, with lyrics that include:

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I’m nothing…
Why you gotta be so mean?

We’ve all heard sad and horrible stories of bullying and cyber-bullying among kids and teens, but the fact is, for many, the bullying never stops. I believe that even those of us who were nicer once find it increasingly hard to avoid the mean-spiritedness that is too often the norm in today’s world. When I recently did an Internet search for “How to become less mean-spirited,” I found an online forum debating whether Internet users are more or less rude than they were in the past (there wasn’t a consensus, but many of the participants were rude in their comments about the subject), a host of articles on negative politics, and two online articles on how to become less sensitive. Maybe we’re not too sensitive; maybe people are just too mean.

It’s not hard to see why meanness has become so prevalent. Look at the role models we have these days:

  • Many people start their days off by listening to mean-spirited people on talk radio or television. These “hosts” make it seem “normal” to demean callers and in-studio guests, to cut people off mid-sentence, and to shout in order to be heard over the din;
  • Reality television goes for the drama by focusing on the basest, ugliest personalities, those who consider throwing a drink or a punch the go-to when circumstances don’t go their way; and
  • The semi-anonymity that allows kids to cyber-bully is just as present for those of who are “grown up.” People online regularly call each other words that used to be considered the ultimate put-downs and say that they don’t mean anything by it—that those words have become part of everyday language and no longer carry the sting they used to. The list of common computer acronyms includes 182 (I hate you), DIAF (Die in a fire), DILLIGAS (Do I look like I give a s*#t?) and STBY (Sucks to be you), among others.

When Beaver Cleaver has been replaced by the South Park gang, is it any wonder we feel it hard to be nice? To prevent falling into the “meanie” trap, try some of these:

  1. Focus your jokes on yourself or situations and don’t mock other people in your life. Any time you say, “Can’t you take a joke?” you’ve slipped into mean-spiritedness.
  2. Put your shopping cart back where it belongs instead of leaving it in the middle of a parking spot.
  3. Leave the last donut or pizza slice for someone else.
  4. The next time someone calls you at dinnertime to ask you to switch phone companies or help with a survey, keep in mind that the person calling is just doing a job. Don’t take out your annoyance on them; instead, politely ask them to call you back later or take you off their list. Or use tactic #1:  make ‘em laugh.
  5. Let a few cars enter the freeway in front of you.
  6. Learn the names of people you have regular interactions with at the gas station, the dry cleaners, the coffee shop, etc. Calling someone by name is a great way to show you care.
  7. Refrain from mowing your lawn or using your weed eater or leaf blower early on weekend mornings.
  8. For no reason at all, show up at a friend’s house with a pie. And remember, you don’t have to have made the pie yourself for this to be a delightful surprise.
  9. Be especially nice to people who are having horrible days and to horrible people. Even if they’re never nice back, you’ll know you added some positive energy to the world.
  10. Set a goal to refrain from using your favorite not-so-nice words for a week. Here are a few you could cut from your vocabulary:  idiot, jerk, moron, stupid… Create a punishment for each time you fall back into old habits and a reward for when you succeed in your goal.
  11. Offer to take the next elevator if there are many people waiting to get on and it’s already almost full.
  12. Offer to pick up a few things for a neighbor or co-worker while you’re out running errands.
  13. Smile for no reason. As the day drags on, we tend to develop irritable scowl syndrome. A nice smile can help turn the day around for the smiler and the smilee.
  14. Don’t honk unless you’re trying to prevent an accident.
  15. Walk up to complete strangers and compliment them on their clothing. Remember the last time someone you didn’t know complimented you on something?  It made you feel really nice inside, right? Do the same for someone else today.
  16. Ask a child or teenager (yours or a friend’s) his or her thoughts on something and really listen to the answer. Too often, children feel they don’t matter. Go out of your way to let them know they do.
  17. Let someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store, especially if it’s obvious they’re in a hurry and you are not.
  18. When making sandwiches for lunch, make an extra to give to a homeless person you pass every day in your car. Take your children with you to help teach them the value of being nice to people who are down on their luck.
  19. If you tend to be sarcastic, try to change your habit. A good way to start is to ask yourself how often after you’ve said something snippy, you’ve ended up feeling ashamed and guilty afterward. The best part of being nice to people is that you never feel bad about your behavior afterward.
  20. Replace any mean-spirited bumper stickers on your car with ones that are nicer, such as “Magic happens,” or “Don’t postpone joy.”
  21. When you’ve had good service, fill out one of those service cards they often have at restaurants and hotels. Most people don’t take the time to fill them out unless things have gone badly.
  22. When your child gets his or her report card, send it back with a thank you note for the teacher.

© 2012 Leigh Anne Jasheway

Make Contact With Nature Part of Your Wellness Plan

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Photo by M. Arloski (all rights reserved)

Here in Colorado we have one of the ultimate places for outdoor activity and opportunity. Yet, it is easy for many of us to stay so busy that we rarely take advantage of the healthful benefits of contact with the natural world.

We experientially know that our stress levels go down when we spend more time in nature. We feel rejuvenated and refreshed after we take a walk through a park or out along a bike path. We feel more grounded and relaxed after a weekend camping and hiking. Now we know from scientific research that our intuition is right.

Dr. Eeva Karjalainen of the Finnish Forest Research Institute summarized such research, stating that just being out in forests and other natural, green settings “can reduce stress, improve moods, reduce anger and aggressiveness and increase overall happiness. Forest visits may also strengthen our immune system…Many studies show that after stressful or concentration-demanding situations, people recover faster and better in natural environments than in urban settings. Blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension and the level of “stress hormones” all decrease faster in natural settings. Depression, anger and aggressiveness are reduced in green environments and ADHD symptoms in children reduce when they play in green settings.” There has even been research showing that exercising outdoors results in greater physiological benefits than exercising indoors.
In one study over 600 people were asked why they visited the National Forests in the U.S. 92% said they did so to “relax and gain peace of mind”. Perhaps our best “wellness centers” are in the outdoors.

The Environmental Dimension of Wellness has many faces to it that we are much more aware of today. We realize that our behavior affects the world around us in many ways. Our choice to purchase whole and natural foods sends a message all the way to the farmers who decide what to plant and how to care for it. Our choice of vehicles either minimizes our impact on the earth or contributes to it’s ecological misery. However the effect that contact with the natural world can have upon us is huge in it’s potential to help us to heal our frazzled nerves and our troubled soul. Our connectedness to the world around us is often overlooked as a way of healing, yet, when we reach back to that older way of being it seems to always give us just what we need.

Photo by M. Arloski (all rights reserved)

On Memorial Day I got out on a hike after far too long away from the foothills and mountains. After hiking past white violets and columbine in bloom I found the remains of an off-trail campsite and took a mid-day break for lunch and contemplation. The quiet was what I found myself cherishing. No city noise, only bird song and wind in the pines and aspen. I opened my copy of Sigurd Olson’s Reflections From The North Country and immediately found these lines. “When man feels tension as though he were being pulled out of his ancient mold, it is his divorcement from silence that is often responsible, silence built into the fabric of this mind. He may not know what is wrong, but he has only to find it again to restore his equilibrium.”

“Mountains give you strength, but water speaks to your soul.” Sigurd Olson. Photo by M. Arloski (all rights reserved)

Being healthy and well seems always about restoring balance in our lives on all levels. Until we slow down and reconnect with nature we may not, as Olson reminds us, even realize how out of balance our lives may have become.

There are thirteen weekends in June, July and August. Getting outdoors can be as easy as a spontaneous walk in a park, but consciously setting aside time to get out hiking, camping, etc., like so many wellness activities, is about planning and putting it on the calendar. We know that Labor Day Weekend will be here before we know it.

-From Real Balance Wellness, re-blogged with permission by Michael Arloski.

Music can soothe frazzled nerves

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It can also reduce blood pressure, relieve pain

You’ve experienced how music can trigger your emotions taking you back in time to sweet – or bitter-sweet – memories. This is why listening to music that touches your soul can serve as a powerful stress reduction tool.

According to a variety of research published by eMedExpert.com 2011, music which appeals to you has many benefits. It:

  • Can distract attention away from your stressors;
  • Can increase your sense of control, which automatically reduces over-all stress;
  • Is effective therapy for pain:
  • Can reduce chronic pain from osteoarthritis, disc problems and rheumatoid arthritis by up to 21% and depression by up to 25% (UK Journal of Advanced Nursing, June, 2006.)
  • Causes the body to release endorphins to counteract pain;
  • Reduces blood pressure: People with high blood pressure can train themselves to lower their blood pressure and keep it low by playing relaxing music every morning and evening (Teng, et al., 2007.) Listening to just 30 minutes of classical, Celtic or raga (traditional south Asian) music daily can significantly reduce high blood pressure.
  • Speeds Post-Stroke Recovery: Daily listening to your favorite pop melodies, classical music or jazz can speed recovery from debilitating strokes (Sarkamo, et al., Brain, March 2008.)
  • Reduces intensity, frequency, and duration of chronic headaches and migraines (Oelkers, et al., April 12, 2008.)
  • Motivates you to exercise and enhances athletic performance (Simpson and Karageorghis, Sports Science, Oct 2006.)
  • Boosts immunity: Music that creates a positive and reflective emotional experience leads to the secretion of immune-boosting hormones (Kuhn, et al., Music Therapy, Spring, 2002.) Higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol decrease immune response; listening to or performing music can decrease it (le Roux, et al., Music Therapy, Summer, 2007.)
  • Those who listen to classical and self-selected relaxing music after exposure to stressors significantly reduce their anxiety, anger – and very importantly for their health – their physiological stress arousal, and increase relaxation compared to those who sit silently or listen to heavy metal music (Labbe, et al, of the University of South Alabama.)

In other words, desirable music is healing for your well-being.

Any time you become more frenzied with life’s demands, schedule time to do nothing but listen to music. Or play it in the background as you go about your business. It’s not a time waster, but rather a Stress Break, which takes you away from your pressures, allowing your body to balance the stress hormones we know cause physical and emotional havoc.
*Article by Jacqueline Ferguson
*Music by Steven Eckels

Just for Laffs: I Won’t Ballroom Dance, Don’t Ask Me

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Leigh Anne JashewayI love watching ballroom dancing. The graceful movement, the teamwork between partners, the costumes that are so over-the-top they give Lady Gaga ideas for her next red carpet look… Ballroom dancing is art, really. But just as with art, the world is better off with me as a spectator than a participant.

Synchronized partner dancing is not my thing and it’s not just because I may be the world’s largest klutz. (I know some of you out there are vying for the title, but until you have accidentally glued your forearms together AND stabbed yourself in the neck with a corncob holder in the same day, don’t even think about challenging me.) My issue with ballroom dancing is more about the fact that when I hear great music, I don’t want to have to think about anything or anyone except expressing myself, wildly and unabashedly. I’m not in the mood to think about whether I’m following or leading – I’ve been told that I tend to do the latter, no matter what the circumstances. And I don’t want to have to worry about whose foot I will mangle if I don’t get the next turn executed properly or whose sacroiliac is going to be out of joint because I don’t dip well.

May I digress for a moment? Whose idea was “dipping” anyway? According to my secret sources (Wikipedia and answers.com, the source of all truth in the universe), the waltz was created in Austria in 1776. So while our forefathers were setting out the rights and responsibilities we are still arguing about today, the Austrians were putting on their dancing shoes. Interestingly, back then the shoes of both men and women were heeled. Doesn’t it just make you feel better to know at some point men had to dance in heels too? Although not recorded in the annals of on-line history, I’m fairly certain that after a few years, the men started to get tired of being dragged out by their wives to boogey every Saturday night, not to mention how much their feet hurt. So a few of them got together and decided to prank the ladies by creating “the dip,” a dangerous back pain-inducing move that was meant to dissuade the gals from dancing, but instead lead an onlooker to invent chiropractic and rake in the big bucks, er Kroner.

Okay, back to my point, if I can remember what it was…

Oh, yes. I recently went to hear one of my favorite local bands play at an event promoted for “boomers.” The great thing about dances for boomers is you are almost guaranteed that there will be no hip hop dancing or crunking. Not to mention I knew that I would be among the youngest people there and therefore experience a boost in my self-esteem. I should also probably mention here that the event started at 7 p.m. Bonus!

I sidled up to the bar and ordered my usual – a glass of fizzy water. Yes, that’s the kind of party animal I am. Then I took a seat at a table next to the dance floor and watched as a dozen couples whirled and twirled each other around like gray-haired auditioners for So You Think You Can Dance. They were all fantastic and I felt more than a little intimidated and out of my element. Unfortunately, the fizzy water didn’t do anything to ease my nerves. Nor did the woman who politely pointed out to me that my blouse was on inside out.

When I returned from addressing my wardrobe malfunction in the ladies’ room, I noticed a handful of younger women (defined as “close to my age”) dancing with each other near the stage. They danced in a circle, not paired up, and their moves were wild and free. As I was about to ask them if I could join their group, a guy tapped me on the shoulder and invited me to dance. My heart pounded. Partly because I was happy to know I’ve still got it (only it’s located slightly further south than it used to be), but mostly because I did not want try to keep up with the professional dancers on the floor. I agreed to dance with him, but pointed to the ballroom dancers and said, “I don’t dance like that.”

“How do you dance?” he asked.

I pointed to the wild women near the stage. “Like that.”

“That’s not dancing,” he harrumphed. “That’s Jazzercise.”

Guess who I danced with? That’s right, the ladies. It was great. And by the end of the evening, there were about thirty women all shaking our booties without having to walk backward and tuck under a gentleman’s arm. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And in this case, it didn’t include dipping.

By Leigh Anne Jasheway, author of Don’t Get Mad, Get Funny! and Are You Playing With Me?

 

Just for Laffs:  I Won’t Ballroom Dance, Don’t Ask Me

 

I love watching ballroom dancing. The graceful movement, the teamwork between partners, the costumes that are so over-the-top they give Lady Gaga ideas for her next red carpet look…  Ballroom dancing is art, really. But just as with art, the world is better off with me as a spectator than a participant.

 

Synchronized partner dancing is not my thing and it’s not just because I may be the world’s largest klutz. (I know some of you out there are vying for the title, but until you have accidentally glued your forearms together AND stabbed yourself in the neck with a corncob holder in the same day, don’t even think about challenging me.) My issue with ballroom dancing is more about the fact that when I hear great music, I don’t want to have to think about anything or anyone except expressing myself, wildly and unabashedly. I’m not in the mood to think about whether I’m following or leading – I’ve been told that I tend to do the latter, no matter what the circumstances. And I don’t want to have to worry about whose foot I will mangle if I don’t get the next turn executed properly or whose sacroiliac is going to be out of joint because I don’t dip well.

 

May I digress for a moment? Whose idea was “dipping” anyway? According to my secret sources (Wikipedia and answers.com, the source of all truth in the universe), the waltz was created in Austria in 1776. So while our forefathers were setting out the rights and responsibilities we are still arguing about today, the Austrians were putting on their dancing shoes. Interestingly, back then the shoes of both men and women were heeled. Doesn’t it just make you feel better to know at some point men had to dance in heels too? Although not recorded in the annals of on-line history, I’m fairly certain that after a few years, the men started to get tired of being dragged out by their wives to boogey every Saturday night, not to mention how much their feet hurt. So a few of them got together and decided to prank the ladies by creating “the dip,” a dangerous back pain-inducing move that was meant to dissuade the gals from dancing, but instead lead an onlooker to invent chiropractic and rake in the big bucks, er Kroner.

 

Okay, back to my point, if I can remember what it was…

 

Oh, yes. I recently went to hear one of my favorite local bands play at an event promoted for “boomers.” The great thing about dances for boomers is you are almost guaranteed that there will be no hip hop dancing or crunking. Not to mention I knew that I would be among the youngest people there and therefore experience a boost in my self-esteem. I should also probably mention here that the event started at 7 p.m. Bonus!

 

I sidled up to the bar and ordered my usual – a glass of fizzy water. Yes, that’s the kind of party animal I am. Then I took a seat at a table next to the dance floor and watched as a dozen couples whirled and twirled each other around like gray-haired auditioners for So You Think You Can Dance. They were all fantastic and I felt more than a little intimidated and out of my element. Unfortunately, the fizzy water didn’t do anything to ease my nerves. Nor did the woman who politely pointed out to me that my blouse was on inside out.

 

When I returned from addressing my wardrobe malfunction in the ladies’ room, I noticed a handful of younger women (defined as “close to my age”) dancing with each other near the stage. They danced in a circle, not paired up, and their moves were wild and free. As I was about to ask them if I could join their group, a guy tapped me on the shoulder and invited me to dance. My heart pounded. Partly because I was happy to know I’ve still got it (only it’s located slightly further south than it used to be), but mostly because I did not want try to keep up with the professional dancers on the floor. I agreed to dance with him, but pointed to the ballroom dancers and said, “I don’t dance like that.”

 

“How do you dance?” he asked.

 

I pointed to the wild women near the stage. “Like that.”

 

 “That’s not dancing,” he harrumphed. “That’s Jazzercise.”

 

Guess who I danced with? That’s right, the ladies. It was great. And by the end of the evening, there were about thirty women all shaking our booties without having to walk backward and tuck under a gentleman’s arm. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And in this case, it didn’t include dipping.


© 2011 Leigh Anne Jasheway

Never Give Up – How Yoga Transforms

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Posted by: Julie Lusk

Please watch this video of Arthur, a disabled Gulf War veteran, who had given up on walking unassisted ever again- until he started practicing yoga.

This is one of the most motivating stories I’ve seen.  Watch how his life transformed once he started practicing yoga with determination and perseverance.

He inspires me to never give up and to keep trying – and to encourage you to do the same.

How we manage stress is passed on in families

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What causes most depression: genetics or experiences?

A hint to the answer comes from the comparisons of depression and schizophrenia rates worldwide. Schizophrenia is found in approximately 1% of the population no matter the culture. Depression varies dramatically culture to culture suggesting it could be contagious.

Consider the following and see if you think depression is spreading:

  • The World Health Organization says depression is the fourth leading cause of human disability and projects by 2020 it’ll take over second place.
  • The average onset of depression is the mid-20s. It used to be the mid-30s.
  • According to clinical psychologist Michael Yapko, long-term studies show depression intensifying one generation to the next, “Today’s parents are the largest depressed group raising the fastest-growing group of depression sufferers.”
  • We’re four times more depressed than our parents; ten times more so than our grandparents! And this is not due to greater awareness of the illness.

Since depressed people experience far more difficulty socially than do those not depressed, could they be spreading the illness? They have:

  • More family and marital arguments;
  • Less relationship satisfaction;
  • Greater unhappiness;

Even though you can be genetically vulnerable to depression, the greater cause is learning, mostly from our families, how to manage what goes on inside our heads, including our:

  • Explanatory style (the meaning we attach to life experiences);
  • Cognitive style (thinking);
  • Coping style (how we manage stress);
  • Problem-solving style;
  • Relational style;

Families model their thinking, feeling, and relating to others, passing on these patterns to other family members.

Yapko also reports a near-perfect correlation between parents’ explanatory style and their child’s. When your child asks you why something happened, your explanation represents your style of thinking including your belief of what caused it. “Why can’t I take tennis lessons, Mom?” “It’s a waste of money since you’ll never be coordinated.” Mom attributes the cause to the child’s clumsiness. And her permanently negative attribution communicates nothing will ever change.

Yapko says these routine interactions happen multiple times daily, imperceptibly shaping the child’s beliefs about himself and his world. They influence how he filters risk-taking, his own potential, whom he blames when things go wrong – and – his vulnerability to depression.

Additionally, the child who learns to make global assumptions that life events are beyond his control experiences greater helplessness and hopelessness, ingredients for depression. He’s more likely to perceive himself helpless about his happiness, competence and relationships.

Studies show these interpretation patterns are established early on. In one study, 8 year-old children were asked how they’d respond if shopping with their mother and suddenly finding themselves separated from her. The anxious children produced scary scenarios of never finding their parents and being adopted by strangers. The nonanxious kids said they’d ask the store manager to make a P-A announcement. Free of their peers’ anxiety, they’d think their way through to solving the problem.

Which patterns of perceiving are you teaching your kids?

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple.

Converting Anger to Laughter

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Leigh Anne JashewayThe name of my newsletter has always been Don’t Get Mad, Get Funny. This is also the title of my first book on using humor to lighten up about stress and the topic title of my most popular keynote presentation. I’m not trying to say that anger isn’t a valid and valuable emotion—it’s just that too many of us go there far too often and for tiny little stressors that don’t deserve our anger energy.

I once saw a billboard alongside I-5 that read, “Anger is one letter away from danger.” I believe when we overuse anger, we do endanger ourselves and others. A mind (and body) in a constant state of fight or flight wears out more quickly than a mind (and body) that find ways to lighten up and let go.

The good news is that we humans naturally turn our anger (and frustration, annoyance, irritation and other lesser forms of being disturbed by circumstances around us) into laughter. Eventually. Some of the funniest stories we tell on ourselves were things that got our goat (or llama or alpaca, whichever you choose) when they happened, but by virtue of the passage of time, we’re able to gain a better perspective and see the humorous side of things. The problem is that eventually is too long to wait. If you’ve recently been to the DMV or tried calling your cable company, you know what I mean. You don’t want to burn out by the time your natural sense of humor replaces your angry feelings.

The question is, how can you speed up the process? Here are my five best tips:

  1. Distract yourself!In one study, two fake traffic jams were created (because there aren’t enough real ones out there J). In one, drivers were left to fuss and fume on their own. In the other, the researchers created three distractions—warm & fuzzy (a puppy being walked alongside the vehicles), sexy (a good looking man and woman walking by), and funny (someone doing stupid human tricks nearby). Researchers studied both groups and counted how often they showed outward displays of anger (honking, yelling, stomping around outside their cars, shooting the finger, etc). In the group with the distractions, angry responses were significantly reduced and the type of distraction that worked best was humor. That’s right, humor beat puppies!Have plenty of silly, stupid, funny distractions in the places where you know your anger response gets turned on the most—your car, your office, at home next to the phone for those times you need to call to complain about things that don’t work.
  2. Count on basic math. If you decide to spend 30 more minutes a day laughing (by inviting funny friends to lunch, watching a funny TV show, reading a funny book, etc.), basic math dictates that there are now 30 fewer minutes available for you to be angry (unless, of course, you set your alarm for 2 a.m. so you can have more time to fume. If that’s the case, you may need more help than this newsletter can provide).
  3. Google it. The next time you feel your head is about to blow up with rage over some issue you know intellectually is not worthy of your anger energy, look online for funny stories and videos that relate to this same issue. I recently broke my nose by walking into a plate glass door (yes, I’m that cliché!) and when the bleeding finally subsided, I found four really funny videos of other people doing the same thing. The value of this exercise is that is allows you to find the humor in your specific situation faster by removing you from the equation. We always find it easier to laugh at others mistakes and problems than our own.
  4. Be angry funny. No, this isn’t like Tyra Banks’ concept of Ugly Pretty on America’s Next Top Model. Rather than expressing anger in your usual way, find more laughable options. Instead of shooting the finger, make up a silly hand or arm gesture (Chicken Dance, anyone?) Curse in pirate or a foreign language. By circumventing your usual responses, your brain will start to acknowledge the silliness of your negative emotions quicker.
  5. Write three jokes about it. As a comedy writer, if I didn’t get frustrated, annoyed, confused, and embarrassed all the time, I wouldn’t have anything to write about. When people are trying to be funny on purpose, they almost always rely on negative emotions as the source of their comedy (think of your favorite comedy TV show or movie and ask yourself what it’s really about). The next time you’re unnecessarily upset about something, take five minutes to write three jokes. They don’t even have to be good—it’s the process that’s important.  1) I hit that plate glass door so hard, local seismologists reported an earthquake. 2) I didn’t mind the embarrassment and the bleeding, but the pointing and laughing bothered me. Of course, it was me who was pointing and laughing, so I could have stopped it if I wanted to. 3) For a week afterward, I had two black eyes. Everyone thought I had “work done.” Now they tell me how much younger I look.

Try these simple tips and see if you don’t let go of some of the unnecessary anger in your daily life.

© 2012 Leigh Anne Jasheway

Let go of assumptions the other is the problem in conflict

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When involved in a conflict, and you’re convinced the other person is wrong, might you also be partly wrong, too, without realizing it?

It’s near-universal in conflicts that we see the other as the cause of the problem. If they’d just change in some way the problem would be solved.

Is there something wrong with this?

Expecting others to change becomes a stressor in itself since you have no control over anyone but yourself. In hundreds of my programs over the years many women (mostly) have talked to me about their conflicts. In describing their disagreement their focus is almost completely on what the other person did, how wrong it is and what they should do to fix the problem. Virtually every woman was convinced she was right.

What they fail to realize is focusing their frustrated energy on anything beyond their control increases their stress. There’s no solution for them as long as they remain focused on the other person.

The first red flag indicating you’re more a part of the conflict than you realize, is when thinking about and talking to others about your conflict you talk almost obsessively about what the other person is doing. Since you’ll find no solutions in this approach, always ask yourself instead, “What are my options in responding to this person,” which is within your control.

Additionally, whoever wants a different outcome in a situation is the person who must change their approach versus expecting the other person to change. The person you’re frustrated with may have no idea you’re upset. They merrily go through their day as you seethe. And stew.

Another important red flag that you’re more part of the problem than you realize is in assuming the other person is at fault and you negatively label what they’re doing as unfair, ignorant, lazy, arrogant, oblivious, etc. These negative judgments – negative adjectives – are opinions, not facts, convinced as you probably are that you’re being accurate.

To reduce your own complicity in conflicts, become consciously aware when you negatively label another person. Listen for your negative adjectives in describing them. Each time you hear yourself think or utter negative adjectives, force yourself to identify the other’s behavior that triggered your negative judgment. Simplifying it this way allows you to determine if their behavior is worth your energy to assertively confront.

My favorite example comes from a workshop attendee. She described her arrogant (negative judgment/adjective) colleague. The only arrogant behavior she could identify was his habit of raising an eyebrow occasionally when she gave ideas. She decided this was not worthy of her upset. Had she decided it was worth her energy, she could speak to him about his tendency to raise an eyebrow (behavior) and her interpretation of its meaning but say nothing about her judgment (arrogant) of it.

Insisting on focusing on how wrong the other person is keeps you stuck. Focusing on their “negative” behavior allows new options of how to respond to open up to you, reducing your stress.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.

Wabi Sabi – The Power of Imperfection

Posted by: Julie Lusk

♥♥♥ Wabi-Sabi is my new favorite concept.  It refers to the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.Wabi is a Japanese word that connotes rustic simplicity and the understated elegance found in both natural and man-made objects.

Sabi is the beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of something and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear as well as in any visible repairs.

What a wonderful concept that softens the sting of aging and the illusion most of us are under that demands that we always get it right. Not only does it soften it, it elevates imperfection to an art to be treasured.

So, the next time things don’t seem to go right, simply smile and say “Wabi-Sabi”.  It’s a real time-saver too.

Please give us examples of how you are celebrating the spirit of Wabi Sabi in your life.  Add your comments below.

What is mindfulness and why does it matter

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Posted by: Julie Lusk

Let me share with you the best definition of mindfulness and its benefits that I’ve come across.   Diane Poole-Heller shared it with us at the recent NICABM conference.

Mindfulness is the moment to moment awareness of present time, inner and outer experience, with a non-judgmental and non-evaluative stance.

Research has shown that a mindfulness practice helps develop all 9 functions of the Pre-Frontal Cortex.

  1. ANS Regulation – Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Balance
  2. Attuned Communication – felt sense of other’s experience
  3. Regulation of emotions
  4. Response flexibility
  5. Empathy
  6. Insight – self awareness
  7. Fear extinction – GABA fibers to amygdala
  8. Intuition – deep knowing
  9. Morality.

Good to the Core

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Yoga to strengthen & flatten abdominals, tone back, legs, hips, and more.

Posted by: Julie Lusk

This yoga sequence helps with abdominal core strength and tones the back while also lengthening the psoas muscles.

The psoas, deep and large,  runs from the lumbar spine, stretches over the hip joint and under the abs, and attaches to inner thigh bone.

Traditional leg lifts, “crunches” and sit-ups are often done to strengthen and flatten the abdominal muscles.  The problem is that they also tighten and shorten the psoas tipping the pelvis forward, pushing your belly out (yuk) and misalignment of the back.

A tight psoas contributes to back, hip and knee problems, indigestion, dysfunctional breathing, instability, and other problems.

This particular yoga sequence activates the psoas muscle in a progressive manner:  first facing forward, to the side, and then turning.

Other beneficial yoga postures are the forearm plank and side plank (creates core stability and strength with a neutral psoas) and pigeon (stretches and releases the   psoas).

Consult a qualified yoga professional for instructions and contraindications.  As with all exercise, practice for your own benefits and at your own risk.

Click here for your complete pdf handout on  ” Good to the Core:  Yoga to strengthen & flatten abdominals, tone back, legs, hips, and more” from Julie Lusk

Children need hope and optimism to deal with stress

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Pessimistic people get depressed much more often

No matter how wonderful and stable a child’s life may seem, she still has stress: rejection by friends, difficulty with homework, dealing with a bully. Your children need to know that when they experience these set-backs, life’s not over; tomorrow is another day.

Children need hope and optimism to be resilient to stress and to persist in dealing with life’s inevitable ups and downs. The more realistically optimistic your children, the better they’ll deal with stress – usually.

Optimism is the fourth component your children’s Stress Safety Net, which helps them feel safe, secure and loved. This gives them the foundation to better handle stress throughout their lives.

Dr. Martin Seligman, a highly respected researcher in the field of cognitive psychology, has found in more than 1,000 studies involving more than a half-million children and adults, pessimistic people do worse than optimistic people in three ways, they:

  • Get depressed much more often;
  • Achieve less at school, on the job and in sports;
  • Their physical health is worse;

With today’s depression rate ten times that of the 1950s, anything that can fight depression is vitally important, which optimism does.

However, sometimes pessimism is the more appropriate response. When the consequences are high that an optimistic view is wrong, it’s better to go with a pessimistic perception. For example, an optimistic perception of cheating on a test would be, “I won’t get caught.” If the consequences of being caught are too great, then the pessimistic, “I’ll get caught,” is the better way to go.

To help your children become more optimistic teach them the connection between their thoughts, feelings and behavior; what they think about a stressor determines how they feel emotionally about it, which determines how they react to it. Teach them that all-or-nothing words like always, never, everyone, no one, are indicators they’re probably thinking pessimistically and adding unnecessary stress to difficult situations.

For example, your daughter’s very interested in the boy who’s approaching her in the hall. She’s thinking, “He’ll never notice me because I’m always so boring.” She feels anxious, worthless and pessimistic.

Teach her, however, that she’s not feeling these emotions because he ignores her but rather because of what she’s telling herself about this possibility. Teach her to change what she thinks in order to change how she feels and responds.

She could think more optimistically, “Here he comes. He hasn’t noticed me before but maybe I can engage him in conversation. He won’t notice me unless I assertive myself.”

Obviously, he still may have no interest but – and this is a huge but – she can limit the damage by spinning it more optimistically. Understanding she feels rotten because she tells herself rotten things about herself teaches her to change what she thinks to something like, “It’s his loss.”

Many adults never learn that their feelings are determined by what they say to themselves. They never learn to take charge of their thinking. Instead, give your kids the gift of optimism with this self-empowering and stress reducing understanding.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.

It’s Summer Bucket List Time

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That’s right, it’s already August and fall is racing towards us.  Now’s the time to get serious about how you’re going to spend the precious summertime and get busy with both the inner and outer work of growing and developing in your truth.  Live.  Love.  Laugh.

Here is reflection from Joan Borysenko from her Pocketful of Miracles book.

“August is the month during which nature celebrates her maturity.  The hatchlings in the nest have found the wings to fly and the boughs of the old apple tree are heavy with fruit.  The Godseed within our hearts is also ripening so that we become more flexible, more tolerant of the shades of gray that characterize life on planet earth.

Every interaction becomes an opportunity to encourage, to be kind as we acknowledge the Godseed within all.  As the pumpkins ripen on the vine, mellowing in the shortening days and colder nights, the vine itself begins the dying time.  It’s purpose is complete.

August  reminds us of the impermanence of all things.  All that seems so dependable will someday pass away.  In that poignant knowledge we mature  into a deeper appreciation of all we have, of all we love.

Listen to the voices of the Ancient Ones that call from the roots of the oaks and willows:

Nature is setting seed,
storing the energy of the light
for future generations.
Likewise, our souls are coming to spiritual maturity –
a flexible, gracious attitude that finds intense joy
in the very impermanence of life.”

I challenge you now.  Take time to consider what’s important to you now.  Yes, everything from spending more time swimming, visiting friends and family, and eating summer’s fresh produce to the deeper things, like helping others, being kind, and doing some soul-searching.

August 1 is the anniversary of my Mother’s passing.  Every day, I miss her loving smiles and cheerful encouragement.  She taught me to live life to the fullest and to enjoy family and  friends.  Yes, life is impermanent, so let’s remember what’s important in our own precious life and treasured relationships.

Please share your comments about your bucket list – from the insane to the simple to the spectacular.

Julie LuskJulie Lusk, M.Ed., RYT, has dedicated her efforts to helping others attain stress relief, wellness and holistic health through yoga, meditation and guided imagery.

 

Panic Not Required

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Aging Beyond BeliefDon Ardell’s tips for aging well are from his book Aging Beyond Belief, 69 tips for REAL Wellness. REAL wellness stands for Reason, Exuberance And Liberty. Don says you can’t buy pills or treatments for REAL wellness−it’s a mindset and lifestyle you control. It’s never to early to let Reason, Exuberance and Liberty be your guide…these tips are for folks of any age. Enjoy.

TIP 6
Panic Not Required
Expect changes, some of which won’t be pleasant

 

At first, naturally enough, many changes will look and feel like crises. This is natural, since they ARE crises (e.g., receding hairlines, wrinkles and fewer offers of leading roles in major motion pictures). Disappointment, upset and worry can’t he helped—it’s quite unavoidable. But, resolve not to dwell forevermore on such things. You are still younger than you are ever going to be again—make the most of it. After a short period adjusting to changes, start plotting rejuvenation, not just a recovery to a boring survival level. Think about actual advances you might attempt that will leave you better off than you were before change intervened and unsettled things.

Prepare for change by building up your level of resilience. Cultivating this quality will protect your vitality, induce added serenity and pave the way for continued passion, adaptability and optimism.

You will build and strengthen your resilience by doing positive things, like reading this book about AUI of a wellness lifestyle. There are many other ways. A few additional steps for creating increased resilience for better adaptation to change might include:

  • Nurturing your network of connections with others—thus avoiding isolation.
  • Helping others.
  • Protecting your routines. Change, as Alvin Toffler emphasized in his 1971 megabit “Future Shock,” can be tempered by safeguarding the familiar. Don’t change things you don’t have to while adapting to crises.
  • Setting goals and picking up the pace toward accomplishing them. Fashion modest goals, at least initially, goals that are easy to realize. Building confidence is more important for resilience than reaching the goal, at least for a while.
  • Keeping the big picture in mind. Relative to all kinds of good things going your way, a crisis does not loom as large if kept in perspective.

See change for what it really is—a part of life, as inexorable as day and night, taxes and politicians who don’t live up to your hopes.

Donald ArdellDonald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness and most recently, Aging Beyond Belief.

PanicNot Required Expectchanges,

someof whichwon’t

bepleasant

Giving Our Lifestyle Power Away To Celebrities

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The rise of celebrity chefs and food programs has been phenomenal. True, there are some excellent shows that feature healthy cuisines, and more wellness-oriented content. However the alarming trend has been for more and more shows to do what television shows have learned works for ratings: to shock and to “give the public what they want.” I’m talking gluttony and foods that have been scientifically linked over and over again to the obesity and health crisis we see in America and ever-increasingly, worldwide.

Americans watch an average of Four Hours of Television Per Day. (http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&health.html) This media-saturated culture allows television celebrities easy access to our awareness and affects our lifestyle decisions more than we think.

We see food programs, often posing as travel shows, glorify over-eating to a degree that is all about shock value. We tune in to programs that seem to inevitably feature consuming the most disgusting substances the host can find. Far too many programs show the host seeking out and gorging on huge quantities of the fattiest red-meat items available. Or, we indulge in a convenient fantasy that “good old home cooking” with all the butter and gravy possible won’t really hurt us. Cholesterol, calories, salt and fat content be damned! Full speed ahead!

We WANT to believe that we can eat like those folks on television and get away with it. The identification with some of these television chefs has been astonishing. What we forget is that they often become more of a corporate “brand” than a person. They represent the tip of a business iceberg that at times becomes a juggernaut of capitalistic power. When that happens it’s not about your health, it’s about making money.

Paula Deen, the television chef who made millions pushing traditional Southern cooking with a style of over-indulgent exaggeration, became “The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest” recently when she announced that she has come down with Type Two Diabetes. While deserving of all the compassion we would give anyone who encounters this challenge in their life, Paula lost much of such potential support by only revealing her affliction three years after her diagnosis. In the meantime she had continued to push her “brand” and all of the diabetes-engendering recipes that went with it. She also never revealed her diabetes until she had a mult-million dollar contract in place to be a spokesperson for a diabetes drug company. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/paula-deen-diabetes-announcement-celebrity-chefs-support_n_1224454.html)

When we give our power away to entertainers who may or may not have our health and best interests at heart, we lose. We often feel betrayed when some truth finally comes to the surface, whether it’s about them, or when we suffer consequences in our own health.

It’s really like reading labels. What is the real content of this product? I loved hearing Marion Nestle (no relation to the food company) (http://www.foodpolitics.com/) talk about nutrition and the food industry at The National Wellness Conference (http://www.nationalwellness.org/index.php?id_tier=90) one year. She made it clear that the big food companies are not evil, they’re not out to get us. They simply are out to make money and are really very neutral about our health. If we purchase junk, they will make and market more junk. If we purchase more healthy food, they will, as we have seen, make and market more healthy food. The same is true for TV.

I’m not out to change TV. I’m out to help people reclaim their own lives. Read the label, so to speak, on what you watch on television. Remember that your favorite celebrity may simply be putting on an infomercial and calling it a TV show. Watch consciously and be conscious of how much you watch. We can’t always trust the intention behind a show. It’s like finding a good looking website on nutrition and then digging deeper and finding out that it’s just a propaganda voice for a coalition of food industry vested interests. The charge of all of these shows is to entertain first and foremost. That’s why we find them fun and interesting. What’s wonderful is when they share recipes that are actually heart-healthy, cancer-preventing, and diabetes-preventing.

We would love to feel like celebrities are our “friends”. We all want to be connected to others. We enjoy their entertainment and we sometimes aspire to be more like them, for better or for worse. Celebrities are real people and the few I’ve met personally, like John Denver and Dennis Weaver, were as sincere and genuine as it gets. However, let’s not make them lifestyle beacons for us or give them authority they don’t deserve. It’s like a time way back in the late 1960’s when I noticed a friend of mine hanging on every word of a rock band for philosophical and political guidance. No wonder The Moody Blues put out a tune at that time entitled “I’m Just A Singer In A Rock n’ Roll Band.” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqOSzkqPhbA)

Wellness Self-Quiz:
1. Have you found television food shows that emphasize wellness and healthy eating? Please share.
2. Have you found yourself recently shifting your eating habits to include more (not less) red meat dishes, more fried foods, more higher-fat content items after seeing such trends on show you watch?
3. What is one thing you can do to be a more conscious consumer of food programs on television?

-Shared from Michael Arloski’s blog, Real Balance Wellness.

Books by Michael Arloski:
Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change
Your Journey to a Healthier Life

Teach your positive values to help your kids with their stress

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The world is full of stress and it’s your responsibility to teach your children how to handle it.

To help you create a relationship that encourages your children to be open to your advice, create a Stress Safety Net (SSN) for your kids so they can feel safe, secure and loved. In recent weeks, I’ve covered two of the six components of the SSN:

  1. Parents as role models;
  2. Unconditional love;

Today we’ll consider teaching your children your positive values.

A positive value is a belief that produces corresponding behaviors that serve both the practitioner and those on the receiving end of their value-guided behavior. So honesty is good for the honest person and for those around her.

Values define you. They serve as a road map in deciding how to handle situations and to live authentically. For example, you’ve taught your daughter to respect others, which includes not harassing anyone. When her friends bully another child your daughter doesn’t participate and may even tell her friends to stop. Conversely, going against a held value would create stress for your daughter.

If your kids don’t learn their values from you, from whom will they?

To teach your positive values, identify a stressful situation in which your child is involved. Which values would be help him handle the situation? If he’s deciding upon which college to attend would encouraging values like curiosity and open-mindedness be potentially helpful?

Next, teach your values through these five steps:

  1. Role model the value yourself. The biggest teacher of your values is how you live your life. If you value privacy and get upset when your child walks into your room unannounced, how can he learn this value if you walk into his room unannounced?
  2. State your value frequently. When appropriate explain your value, whether during a conversation or a TV show. My father often said in response to certain situations, “There’s nothing worse than a liar.” To this day honesty is one of my strongest values.
  3. Praise your child when she abides by a value, especially in a tough situation like a friend pressuring her to cheat and she says “no.” Praise her courage (another value) for doing something unpopular.
  4. Discuss positive and negative consequences of living and not living by certain values. Positive consequences of being curious might include learning more, making life more interesting and fun, having friends who are also curious. On the down side, too much curiosity might find you poking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Identifying both positive and negative consequences of a value helps define which limits might be wise to impose.
  5. Be honest about your lapses living up to your own values. Like the father who admitted to his kids that he isn’t always completely honest with his own mother when she asks him if he’s busy. Minimize your kids’ cynicism by admitting and explaining your lapses.

Values serve as anchors in this stormy world. Give your children positive ones to navigate successfully.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.

Improv Your Life

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The word “improv” scares people. To most, the idea of getting up in front of an audience and making up stuff on the spur of the moment seems like a form of torture instead of a fun way to pass a few hours while learning important life skills.

I’ve been incorporating improv games into my workshops for years without letting anyone know that’s what we’re doing (it’s kind of like mixing spinach in with the mashed potatoes and not telling anyone). The participants always have fun and go away with important life skills. Last spring I started teaching an improv class for my local community college and can honestly say – as a person who laughs a lot already – that I’ve never giggled, snorted, guffawed, and rolled on the floor laughing as much as I did during the two hours I spent teaching (and playing with) that class every week. The mean age of the class was around 58 and the “students” held nothing back and really enjoyed their 10-weeks of remembering how to be childlike.

Rather than running screaming from improv, it might help to look at a definition. Improv is the practice of acting and reacting, of making and creating, of being fully in the moment and with the people you are with. Improv helps us think and act on our feet, respond to changing circumstances, generate new and different ideas, become more flexible and spontaneous, and strengthen our sense of humor. Now tell me that doesn’t sound like something that would make your life better while reducing your stress!

Even if you never take an improv class, here are some rules you can apply to your everyday life to have less stress and more fun:

  • Be playful, not competitive. Working and playing together is not only more productive than always trying to one-up the next person, it also improves your attitude towards those you work with.
  • Always pay complete attention to what is going on around you. Yes, that does mean you should put down your Smartphone and back away from your computer when you’re engaging with another human being, whether in person or on the phone. Your mind cannot be in two places at one time any more than your body can.
  • Work with your intuition, your heart, and your emotions. Before making daily decisions, think about where they will lead and whether they’ll make you and the people in your life happy or less so.
  • Take risks and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. By this I don’t mean you should bungee jump naked from a motorcycle as you jump the Grand Canyon. What I do mean is that you should take more little risks in your everyday life. I’ll give you an example: I can hold my own during karaoke, but when it comes to “real” singing, I know my limitations. I’m breathy and often a little flat. That, however, did not stop me from recently writing and recording my first song. And I had the time of my life. Whenever we feel uncomfortable in a situation, we’re being ruled by our ego, the part of our mind that tries to keep us from appearing foolish. But appearing foolish can be an amazingly freeing experience.
  • Be truly involved in what’s going on, rather than thinking about it like as outsider. Many of us live as if our lives are on hold. When I get my doctorate… when I get married… when I buy my first house… when the aliens beam me aboard… then I can get on with my life. Fully commit to every day, every moment, and you’ll not only get more accomplished, you’ll be more grateful for every step of the journey.
  • Use your entire body, not just your head. One of the reasons 5-year-olds laugh so much more than grown-ups is that they use their bodies for play. We adults tend to use our bodies to transport our heads around and complain about the trip. The more you can play every day (and no, jogging, while good for you, isn’t considered “play”), the more fun you’ll have.
  • Accept and move forward.  Rather than questioning every idea or suggestion made by others just because they weren’t yours, join in and see what happens. Add your own touch, but don’t destroy an idea just because it’s not yours.
  • Eliminate excuses. Rather than whining, “I feel stupid,” “I don’t understand,” or “I’ll wait and let others try before I join in,” just go for it. Or provide your own responses. “I feel stupid.” So? There are worse things in life.  “I don’t understand.” Maybe you will if you join in the activity and see what it’s all about. “I’ll wait and let others try first.” Would you say the same if they were giving away free money or donuts? I thought not!

And if you decide that perhaps an improv class may be just what you need to turn your life around, check out your local community college. Here in Eugene, my next class starts on September 29th and is offered through Lane Community College.

–Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant, MPH, is a stress management and humor expert, comedy writer, stand-up comic, and comedy instructor/coach.

Developing a “Wise” Society

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John LiptakIn our knowledge-based society, in which people are often rewarded for their knowledge, it is often hard to tell the difference between knowledge and wisdom.  Many people spend years attaining formal education and degrees, but still lack basic wisdom about how to live.  These life skills are critical in the personal and professional success of your clients and/or students.

The differences between knowledge and wisdom may seem small, but they actually are immense.  Knowledge is the theoretical understanding of a subject that is gained through learning, perception, or reasoning.  Knowledge is the objective acquisition of information to increases your skill or expertise.  Wisdom, on the other hand, is the objective acquisition of information followed by the subjective examination of that information for patterns, for understanding, and then application in your life.

Roger Walsh, in his book Essential Spirituality, suggests that knowledge and wisdom are very different entities.  He eloquently explains the differences in this way:

  • Knowledge informs us, wisdom transforms us;
  • Knowledge is something we have, wisdom is something we must become;
  • Knowledge is expressed in words, wisdom is expressed in our lives; and
  • Knowledge empowers, wisdom empowers and enlightens.

Nutrition – the Heart of the Matter

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Aging Beyond BeliefDon Ardell’s tips for aging well are from his book Aging Beyond Belief, 69 tips for REAL Wellness. REAL wellness stands for Reason, Exuberance And Liberty. Don says you can’t buy pills or treatments for REAL wellness−it’s a mindset and lifestyle you control. It’s never to early to let Reason, Exuberance and Liberty be your guide…these tips are for folks of any age. Enjoy.

TIP 5
Nutrition – the Heart of the Matter
Adopt two simple nutritional goals and work to realize both

This tip is supported by research done at the Agriculture and Health and Human Services Departments. The two nutritional goals are: 1) Eat fruits and vegetables on at least three separate occasions spaced throughout the day; and 2) Consume at least two cups of fruit and three cups of vegetables daily.

Another study published in the journal Neurology (10/24/2006), based on a six-year research project involving 4000 seniors, hinted strongly that it’s never too late to gain a mental edge in this fashion. Two daily servings of vegetables—that’s all it takes. What a deal.

Veggies are much cheaper than drugs and doctor visits. Besides, nobody ever got smarter medicating or seeing doctors. The seniors study just mentioned, done at the Rush Center for Healthy Aging in Chicago, suggests the two-serving daily fix slows cognitive mental declines by as much as 40 percent. This is judged the equivalent of a five-year age discount! There are not many ways to drop five years of aging effects—don’t pass up such a deal!

Vegetables, particularly those in the leafy green category, provide such brain benefits because of their antioxidant compounds, such as vitamin E, flavonoids and carotenoids. What’s more, the absorption of these compounds is enhanced if they are prepared using olive or vegetable oils, or other poly or mono-unsaturated fats.

Such high consumption levels will ensure that you get loads of phytonutrients—great as antioxidants that inhibit free radical cell damages and helpful, as well, in weight control.  At present, 90 percent of the US population does not realize this intake standard. This partially accounts for the fact that two-thirds of Americans are overweight and 90 million suffer from chronic diseases. Naturally, our individual needs vary, depending on our exercise levels, age and sex. To personalize this tip in accord with your situation, go to www.mypyramid.gov.  (For details about top-rated fruits and veggies, see “More Reasons to Eat Your Veggies,” Wall Street Journal, 7/25/06, D1 and D3).

This tip is offered despite the general rule that you should be suspicious of claims for one specific food or another. This tip is not for a single food, but two classes of food. Still, it is useful to note that it is wise to reserve judgments. Always allow time for your critical thinking talents to come into play. Let’s say someone insists that his product will increase your energy, shrink your derriere and/or grow hair on your head. What to do? My advice—be respectful and kind but don’t agree or buy anything. Be skeptical. Assuming you were even mildly interested, ask for evidence. Insist that it be from a disinterested third party—and take your time before deciding.

Donald ArdellDonald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness and most recently, Aging Beyond Belief.