Posted by: Julie Lusk
Please watch this video of Arthur, a disabled Gulf War veteran, who had given up on walking unassisted ever again- until he started practicing yoga.
This is one of the most motivating stories I’ve seen. Watch how his life transformed once he started practicing yoga with determination and perseverance.
He inspires me to never give up and to keep trying – and to encourage you to do the same.
What causes most depression: genetics or experiences?
A hint to the answer comes from the comparisons of depression and schizophrenia rates worldwide. Schizophrenia is found in approximately 1% of the population no matter the culture. Depression varies dramatically culture to culture suggesting it could be contagious.
Consider the following and see if you think depression is spreading:
Since depressed people experience far more difficulty socially than do those not depressed, could they be spreading the illness? They have:
Even though you can be genetically vulnerable to depression, the greater cause is learning, mostly from our families, how to manage what goes on inside our heads, including our:
Families model their thinking, feeling, and relating to others, passing on these patterns to other family members.
Yapko also reports a near-perfect correlation between parents’ explanatory style and their child’s. When your child asks you why something happened, your explanation represents your style of thinking including your belief of what caused it. “Why can’t I take tennis lessons, Mom?” “It’s a waste of money since you’ll never be coordinated.” Mom attributes the cause to the child’s clumsiness. And her permanently negative attribution communicates nothing will ever change.
Yapko says these routine interactions happen multiple times daily, imperceptibly shaping the child’s beliefs about himself and his world. They influence how he filters risk-taking, his own potential, whom he blames when things go wrong – and – his vulnerability to depression.
Additionally, the child who learns to make global assumptions that life events are beyond his control experiences greater helplessness and hopelessness, ingredients for depression. He’s more likely to perceive himself helpless about his happiness, competence and relationships.
Studies show these interpretation patterns are established early on. In one study, 8 year-old children were asked how they’d respond if shopping with their mother and suddenly finding themselves separated from her. The anxious children produced scary scenarios of never finding their parents and being adopted by strangers. The nonanxious kids said they’d ask the store manager to make a P-A announcement. Free of their peers’ anxiety, they’d think their way through to solving the problem.
Which patterns of perceiving are you teaching your kids?
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple.
The name of my newsletter has always been Don’t Get Mad, Get Funny. This is also the title of my first book on using humor to lighten up about stress and the topic title of my most popular keynote presentation. I’m not trying to say that anger isn’t a valid and valuable emotion—it’s just that too many of us go there far too often and for tiny little stressors that don’t deserve our anger energy.
I once saw a billboard alongside I-5 that read, “Anger is one letter away from danger.” I believe when we overuse anger, we do endanger ourselves and others. A mind (and body) in a constant state of fight or flight wears out more quickly than a mind (and body) that find ways to lighten up and let go.
The good news is that we humans naturally turn our anger (and frustration, annoyance, irritation and other lesser forms of being disturbed by circumstances around us) into laughter. Eventually. Some of the funniest stories we tell on ourselves were things that got our goat (or llama or alpaca, whichever you choose) when they happened, but by virtue of the passage of time, we’re able to gain a better perspective and see the humorous side of things. The problem is that eventually is too long to wait. If you’ve recently been to the DMV or tried calling your cable company, you know what I mean. You don’t want to burn out by the time your natural sense of humor replaces your angry feelings.
The question is, how can you speed up the process? Here are my five best tips:
Try these simple tips and see if you don’t let go of some of the unnecessary anger in your daily life.
© 2012 Leigh Anne Jasheway
When involved in a conflict, and you’re convinced the other person is wrong, might you also be partly wrong, too, without realizing it?
It’s near-universal in conflicts that we see the other as the cause of the problem. If they’d just change in some way the problem would be solved.
Is there something wrong with this?
Expecting others to change becomes a stressor in itself since you have no control over anyone but yourself. In hundreds of my programs over the years many women (mostly) have talked to me about their conflicts. In describing their disagreement their focus is almost completely on what the other person did, how wrong it is and what they should do to fix the problem. Virtually every woman was convinced she was right.
What they fail to realize is focusing their frustrated energy on anything beyond their control increases their stress. There’s no solution for them as long as they remain focused on the other person.
The first red flag indicating you’re more a part of the conflict than you realize, is when thinking about and talking to others about your conflict you talk almost obsessively about what the other person is doing. Since you’ll find no solutions in this approach, always ask yourself instead, “What are my options in responding to this person,” which is within your control.
Additionally, whoever wants a different outcome in a situation is the person who must change their approach versus expecting the other person to change. The person you’re frustrated with may have no idea you’re upset. They merrily go through their day as you seethe. And stew.
Another important red flag that you’re more part of the problem than you realize is in assuming the other person is at fault and you negatively label what they’re doing as unfair, ignorant, lazy, arrogant, oblivious, etc. These negative judgments – negative adjectives – are opinions, not facts, convinced as you probably are that you’re being accurate.
To reduce your own complicity in conflicts, become consciously aware when you negatively label another person. Listen for your negative adjectives in describing them. Each time you hear yourself think or utter negative adjectives, force yourself to identify the other’s behavior that triggered your negative judgment. Simplifying it this way allows you to determine if their behavior is worth your energy to assertively confront.
My favorite example comes from a workshop attendee. She described her arrogant (negative judgment/adjective) colleague. The only arrogant behavior she could identify was his habit of raising an eyebrow occasionally when she gave ideas. She decided this was not worthy of her upset. Had she decided it was worth her energy, she could speak to him about his tendency to raise an eyebrow (behavior) and her interpretation of its meaning but say nothing about her judgment (arrogant) of it.
Insisting on focusing on how wrong the other person is keeps you stuck. Focusing on their “negative” behavior allows new options of how to respond to open up to you, reducing your stress.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.
Posted by: Julie Lusk
Sabi is the beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of something and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear as well as in any visible repairs.
What a wonderful concept that softens the sting of aging and the illusion most of us are under that demands that we always get it right. Not only does it soften it, it elevates imperfection to an art to be treasured.
So, the next time things don’t seem to go right, simply smile and say “Wabi-Sabi”. It’s a real time-saver too.
Please give us examples of how you are celebrating the spirit of Wabi Sabi in your life. Add your comments below.
Posted by: Julie Lusk
Let me share with you the best definition of mindfulness and its benefits that I’ve come across. Diane Poole-Heller shared it with us at the recent NICABM conference.
Mindfulness is the moment to moment awareness of present time, inner and outer experience, with a non-judgmental and non-evaluative stance.
Research has shown that a mindfulness practice helps develop all 9 functions of the Pre-Frontal Cortex.
Posted by: Julie Lusk
This yoga sequence helps with abdominal core strength and tones the back while also lengthening the psoas muscles.
The psoas, deep and large, runs from the lumbar spine, stretches over the hip joint and under the abs, and attaches to inner thigh bone.
Traditional leg lifts, “crunches” and sit-ups are often done to strengthen and flatten the abdominal muscles. The problem is that they also tighten and shorten the psoas tipping the pelvis forward, pushing your belly out (yuk) and misalignment of the back.
A tight psoas contributes to back, hip and knee problems, indigestion, dysfunctional breathing, instability, and other problems.
This particular yoga sequence activates the psoas muscle in a progressive manner: first facing forward, to the side, and then turning.
Other beneficial yoga postures are the forearm plank and side plank (creates core stability and strength with a neutral psoas) and pigeon (stretches and releases the psoas).
Consult a qualified yoga professional for instructions and contraindications. As with all exercise, practice for your own benefits and at your own risk.
Pessimistic people get depressed much more often
No matter how wonderful and stable a child’s life may seem, she still has stress: rejection by friends, difficulty with homework, dealing with a bully. Your children need to know that when they experience these set-backs, life’s not over; tomorrow is another day.
Children need hope and optimism to be resilient to stress and to persist in dealing with life’s inevitable ups and downs. The more realistically optimistic your children, the better they’ll deal with stress – usually.
Optimism is the fourth component your children’s Stress Safety Net, which helps them feel safe, secure and loved. This gives them the foundation to better handle stress throughout their lives.
Dr. Martin Seligman, a highly respected researcher in the field of cognitive psychology, has found in more than 1,000 studies involving more than a half-million children and adults, pessimistic people do worse than optimistic people in three ways, they:
With today’s depression rate ten times that of the 1950s, anything that can fight depression is vitally important, which optimism does.
However, sometimes pessimism is the more appropriate response. When the consequences are high that an optimistic view is wrong, it’s better to go with a pessimistic perception. For example, an optimistic perception of cheating on a test would be, “I won’t get caught.” If the consequences of being caught are too great, then the pessimistic, “I’ll get caught,” is the better way to go.
To help your children become more optimistic teach them the connection between their thoughts, feelings and behavior; what they think about a stressor determines how they feel emotionally about it, which determines how they react to it. Teach them that all-or-nothing words like always, never, everyone, no one, are indicators they’re probably thinking pessimistically and adding unnecessary stress to difficult situations.
For example, your daughter’s very interested in the boy who’s approaching her in the hall. She’s thinking, “He’ll never notice me because I’m always so boring.” She feels anxious, worthless and pessimistic.
Teach her, however, that she’s not feeling these emotions because he ignores her but rather because of what she’s telling herself about this possibility. Teach her to change what she thinks in order to change how she feels and responds.
She could think more optimistically, “Here he comes. He hasn’t noticed me before but maybe I can engage him in conversation. He won’t notice me unless I assertive myself.”
Obviously, he still may have no interest but – and this is a huge but – she can limit the damage by spinning it more optimistically. Understanding she feels rotten because she tells herself rotten things about herself teaches her to change what she thinks to something like, “It’s his loss.”
Many adults never learn that their feelings are determined by what they say to themselves. They never learn to take charge of their thinking. Instead, give your kids the gift of optimism with this self-empowering and stress reducing understanding.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.
That’s right, it’s already August and fall is racing towards us. Now’s the time to get serious about how you’re going to spend the precious summertime and get busy with both the inner and outer work of growing and developing in your truth. Live. Love. Laugh.
Here is reflection from Joan Borysenko from her Pocketful of Miracles book.
“August is the month during which nature celebrates her maturity. The hatchlings in the nest have found the wings to fly and the boughs of the old apple tree are heavy with fruit. The Godseed within our hearts is also ripening so that we become more flexible, more tolerant of the shades of gray that characterize life on planet earth.
Every interaction becomes an opportunity to encourage, to be kind as we acknowledge the Godseed within all. As the pumpkins ripen on the vine, mellowing in the shortening days and colder nights, the vine itself begins the dying time. It’s purpose is complete.
August reminds us of the impermanence of all things. All that seems so dependable will someday pass away. In that poignant knowledge we mature into a deeper appreciation of all we have, of all we love.
Listen to the voices of the Ancient Ones that call from the roots of the oaks and willows:
Nature is setting seed,
storing the energy of the light
for future generations.
Likewise, our souls are coming to spiritual maturity –
a flexible, gracious attitude that finds intense joy
in the very impermanence of life.”
I challenge you now. Take time to consider what’s important to you now. Yes, everything from spending more time swimming, visiting friends and family, and eating summer’s fresh produce to the deeper things, like helping others, being kind, and doing some soul-searching.
August 1 is the anniversary of my Mother’s passing. Every day, I miss her loving smiles and cheerful encouragement. She taught me to live life to the fullest and to enjoy family and friends. Yes, life is impermanent, so let’s remember what’s important in our own precious life and treasured relationships.
Please share your comments about your bucket list – from the insane to the simple to the spectacular.
Julie Lusk, M.Ed., RYT, has dedicated her efforts to helping others attain stress relief, wellness and holistic health through yoga, meditation and guided imagery.
Don Ardell’s tips for aging well are from his book Aging Beyond Belief, 69 tips for REAL Wellness. REAL wellness stands for Reason, Exuberance And Liberty. Don says you can’t buy pills or treatments for REAL wellness−it’s a mindset and lifestyle you control. It’s never to early to let Reason, Exuberance and Liberty be your guide…these tips are for folks of any age. Enjoy.
At first, naturally enough, many changes will look and feel like crises. This is natural, since they ARE crises (e.g., receding hairlines, wrinkles and fewer offers of leading roles in major motion pictures). Disappointment, upset and worry can’t he helped—it’s quite unavoidable. But, resolve not to dwell forevermore on such things. You are still younger than you are ever going to be again—make the most of it. After a short period adjusting to changes, start plotting rejuvenation, not just a recovery to a boring survival level. Think about actual advances you might attempt that will leave you better off than you were before change intervened and unsettled things.
Prepare for change by building up your level of resilience. Cultivating this quality will protect your vitality, induce added serenity and pave the way for continued passion, adaptability and optimism.
You will build and strengthen your resilience by doing positive things, like reading this book about AUI of a wellness lifestyle. There are many other ways. A few additional steps for creating increased resilience for better adaptation to change might include:
See change for what it really is—a part of life, as inexorable as day and night, taxes and politicians who don’t live up to your hopes.
Donald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness and most recently, Aging Beyond Belief.
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The rise of celebrity chefs and food programs has been phenomenal. True, there are some excellent shows that feature healthy cuisines, and more wellness-oriented content. However the alarming trend has been for more and more shows to do what television shows have learned works for ratings: to shock and to “give the public what they want.” I’m talking gluttony and foods that have been scientifically linked over and over again to the obesity and health crisis we see in America and ever-increasingly, worldwide.
Americans watch an average of Four Hours of Television Per Day. (http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&health.html) This media-saturated culture allows television celebrities easy access to our awareness and affects our lifestyle decisions more than we think.
We see food programs, often posing as travel shows, glorify over-eating to a degree that is all about shock value. We tune in to programs that seem to inevitably feature consuming the most disgusting substances the host can find. Far too many programs show the host seeking out and gorging on huge quantities of the fattiest red-meat items available. Or, we indulge in a convenient fantasy that “good old home cooking” with all the butter and gravy possible won’t really hurt us. Cholesterol, calories, salt and fat content be damned! Full speed ahead!
We WANT to believe that we can eat like those folks on television and get away with it. The identification with some of these television chefs has been astonishing. What we forget is that they often become more of a corporate “brand” than a person. They represent the tip of a business iceberg that at times becomes a juggernaut of capitalistic power. When that happens it’s not about your health, it’s about making money.
Paula Deen, the television chef who made millions pushing traditional Southern cooking with a style of over-indulgent exaggeration, became “The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest” recently when she announced that she has come down with Type Two Diabetes. While deserving of all the compassion we would give anyone who encounters this challenge in their life, Paula lost much of such potential support by only revealing her affliction three years after her diagnosis. In the meantime she had continued to push her “brand” and all of the diabetes-engendering recipes that went with it. She also never revealed her diabetes until she had a mult-million dollar contract in place to be a spokesperson for a diabetes drug company. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/paula-deen-diabetes-announcement-celebrity-chefs-support_n_1224454.html)
When we give our power away to entertainers who may or may not have our health and best interests at heart, we lose. We often feel betrayed when some truth finally comes to the surface, whether it’s about them, or when we suffer consequences in our own health.
It’s really like reading labels. What is the real content of this product? I loved hearing Marion Nestle (no relation to the food company) (http://www.foodpolitics.com/) talk about nutrition and the food industry at The National Wellness Conference (http://www.nationalwellness.org/index.php?id_tier=90) one year. She made it clear that the big food companies are not evil, they’re not out to get us. They simply are out to make money and are really very neutral about our health. If we purchase junk, they will make and market more junk. If we purchase more healthy food, they will, as we have seen, make and market more healthy food. The same is true for TV.
I’m not out to change TV. I’m out to help people reclaim their own lives. Read the label, so to speak, on what you watch on television. Remember that your favorite celebrity may simply be putting on an infomercial and calling it a TV show. Watch consciously and be conscious of how much you watch. We can’t always trust the intention behind a show. It’s like finding a good looking website on nutrition and then digging deeper and finding out that it’s just a propaganda voice for a coalition of food industry vested interests. The charge of all of these shows is to entertain first and foremost. That’s why we find them fun and interesting. What’s wonderful is when they share recipes that are actually heart-healthy, cancer-preventing, and diabetes-preventing.
We would love to feel like celebrities are our “friends”. We all want to be connected to others. We enjoy their entertainment and we sometimes aspire to be more like them, for better or for worse. Celebrities are real people and the few I’ve met personally, like John Denver and Dennis Weaver, were as sincere and genuine as it gets. However, let’s not make them lifestyle beacons for us or give them authority they don’t deserve. It’s like a time way back in the late 1960’s when I noticed a friend of mine hanging on every word of a rock band for philosophical and political guidance. No wonder The Moody Blues put out a tune at that time entitled “I’m Just A Singer In A Rock n’ Roll Band.” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqOSzkqPhbA)
Wellness Self-Quiz:
1. Have you found television food shows that emphasize wellness and healthy eating? Please share.
2. Have you found yourself recently shifting your eating habits to include more (not less) red meat dishes, more fried foods, more higher-fat content items after seeing such trends on show you watch?
3. What is one thing you can do to be a more conscious consumer of food programs on television?
-Shared from Michael Arloski’s blog, Real Balance Wellness.
Books by Michael Arloski:
Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change
Your Journey to a Healthier Life
The world is full of stress and it’s your responsibility to teach your children how to handle it.
To help you create a relationship that encourages your children to be open to your advice, create a Stress Safety Net (SSN) for your kids so they can feel safe, secure and loved. In recent weeks, I’ve covered two of the six components of the SSN:
Today we’ll consider teaching your children your positive values.
A positive value is a belief that produces corresponding behaviors that serve both the practitioner and those on the receiving end of their value-guided behavior. So honesty is good for the honest person and for those around her.
Values define you. They serve as a road map in deciding how to handle situations and to live authentically. For example, you’ve taught your daughter to respect others, which includes not harassing anyone. When her friends bully another child your daughter doesn’t participate and may even tell her friends to stop. Conversely, going against a held value would create stress for your daughter.
If your kids don’t learn their values from you, from whom will they?
To teach your positive values, identify a stressful situation in which your child is involved. Which values would be help him handle the situation? If he’s deciding upon which college to attend would encouraging values like curiosity and open-mindedness be potentially helpful?
Next, teach your values through these five steps:
Values serve as anchors in this stormy world. Give your children positive ones to navigate successfully.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.
The word “improv” scares people. To most, the idea of getting up in front of an audience and making up stuff on the spur of the moment seems like a form of torture instead of a fun way to pass a few hours while learning important life skills.
I’ve been incorporating improv games into my workshops for years without letting anyone know that’s what we’re doing (it’s kind of like mixing spinach in with the mashed potatoes and not telling anyone). The participants always have fun and go away with important life skills. Last spring I started teaching an improv class for my local community college and can honestly say – as a person who laughs a lot already – that I’ve never giggled, snorted, guffawed, and rolled on the floor laughing as much as I did during the two hours I spent teaching (and playing with) that class every week. The mean age of the class was around 58 and the “students” held nothing back and really enjoyed their 10-weeks of remembering how to be childlike.
Rather than running screaming from improv, it might help to look at a definition. Improv is the practice of acting and reacting, of making and creating, of being fully in the moment and with the people you are with. Improv helps us think and act on our feet, respond to changing circumstances, generate new and different ideas, become more flexible and spontaneous, and strengthen our sense of humor. Now tell me that doesn’t sound like something that would make your life better while reducing your stress!
Even if you never take an improv class, here are some rules you can apply to your everyday life to have less stress and more fun:
And if you decide that perhaps an improv class may be just what you need to turn your life around, check out your local community college. Here in Eugene, my next class starts on September 29th and is offered through Lane Community College.
–Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant, MPH, is a stress management and humor expert, comedy writer, stand-up comic, and comedy instructor/coach.
In our knowledge-based society, in which people are often rewarded for their knowledge, it is often hard to tell the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Many people spend years attaining formal education and degrees, but still lack basic wisdom about how to live. These life skills are critical in the personal and professional success of your clients and/or students.
The differences between knowledge and wisdom may seem small, but they actually are immense. Knowledge is the theoretical understanding of a subject that is gained through learning, perception, or reasoning. Knowledge is the objective acquisition of information to increases your skill or expertise. Wisdom, on the other hand, is the objective acquisition of information followed by the subjective examination of that information for patterns, for understanding, and then application in your life.
Roger Walsh, in his book Essential Spirituality, suggests that knowledge and wisdom are very different entities. He eloquently explains the differences in this way:
Don Ardell’s tips for aging well are from his book Aging Beyond Belief, 69 tips for REAL Wellness. REAL wellness stands for Reason, Exuberance And Liberty. Don says you can’t buy pills or treatments for REAL wellness−it’s a mindset and lifestyle you control. It’s never to early to let Reason, Exuberance and Liberty be your guide…these tips are for folks of any age. Enjoy.
This tip is supported by research done at the Agriculture and Health and Human Services Departments. The two nutritional goals are: 1) Eat fruits and vegetables on at least three separate occasions spaced throughout the day; and 2) Consume at least two cups of fruit and three cups of vegetables daily.
Another study published in the journal Neurology (10/24/2006), based on a six-year research project involving 4000 seniors, hinted strongly that it’s never too late to gain a mental edge in this fashion. Two daily servings of vegetables—that’s all it takes. What a deal.
Veggies are much cheaper than drugs and doctor visits. Besides, nobody ever got smarter medicating or seeing doctors. The seniors study just mentioned, done at the Rush Center for Healthy Aging in Chicago, suggests the two-serving daily fix slows cognitive mental declines by as much as 40 percent. This is judged the equivalent of a five-year age discount! There are not many ways to drop five years of aging effects—don’t pass up such a deal!
Vegetables, particularly those in the leafy green category, provide such brain benefits because of their antioxidant compounds, such as vitamin E, flavonoids and carotenoids. What’s more, the absorption of these compounds is enhanced if they are prepared using olive or vegetable oils, or other poly or mono-unsaturated fats.
Such high consumption levels will ensure that you get loads of phytonutrients—great as antioxidants that inhibit free radical cell damages and helpful, as well, in weight control. At present, 90 percent of the US population does not realize this intake standard. This partially accounts for the fact that two-thirds of Americans are overweight and 90 million suffer from chronic diseases. Naturally, our individual needs vary, depending on our exercise levels, age and sex. To personalize this tip in accord with your situation, go to www.mypyramid.gov. (For details about top-rated fruits and veggies, see “More Reasons to Eat Your Veggies,” Wall Street Journal, 7/25/06, D1 and D3).
This tip is offered despite the general rule that you should be suspicious of claims for one specific food or another. This tip is not for a single food, but two classes of food. Still, it is useful to note that it is wise to reserve judgments. Always allow time for your critical thinking talents to come into play. Let’s say someone insists that his product will increase your energy, shrink your derriere and/or grow hair on your head. What to do? My advice—be respectful and kind but don’t agree or buy anything. Be skeptical. Assuming you were even mildly interested, ask for evidence. Insist that it be from a disinterested third party—and take your time before deciding.
Donald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness and most recently, Aging Beyond Belief.
Dear Friends, Fans & Colleagues,
Howdy from Boulder! Lots going on in the Universe these days, most of it happening right here on planet Earth!
I wanted to share with you a couple of things that might be of interest to you including my new book and this year’s incredible tours to Ireland and Italy:
First, I am delighted to announce the release of my newest book. A Beautiful World has just arrived (in my garage); 12.5 inches and 3.5 lbs. …It’s a limited edition (1,000 copies) coffee table photography book. Please check out the sample pages with the links below… including (shamelessly) a link to the Paypal page were you can place your order….
Thanks so much for your support. You are going to LOVE this book!
Many of you have asked about this year’s trips to Ireland (10 spots left) and Tuscany (9 spots left). Here is all the information you will need. Each trip will be a trip of a lifetime…and we would LOVE to have you join us.
Please call with any questions….
Come join us for a trip of a lifetime as we travel once again to the Emerald Isle for the Spirit of Ireland Healing Journey to work with the healing energies of the sacred sites of Counties Donegal Mayo and Galway—exploring the Celtic culture, music (if you don’t hear the music, you don’t see Ireland) and spirituality with Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D., June 15-25th, 2012. Call 303.678.9962 or click on http://www.brianlukeseaward.net/tripstoireland.html
PDF brochure: http://brianlukeseaward.net/2012_spirit_of_ireland_journey.pdf
Come join us in Italy; a land and culture where dreams are made of great food, stunning pastoral scenery, and a relaxed healthy lifestyle. These are the reasons why we have chosen the Tuscan region of Italy and Venice as our prime locations for a retreat for caregivers and working professionals; a time to renew mind, body and spirit. This tour theme (loosely based on Liz Gilbert’s best-selling book, Eat Pray Love) offers guided meditations, wonderful Italian meals, stress & personal management skills, and an unforgettable taste of the authentic Italian culture honoring the skills of self-care for nurses, caretakers and professionals on the front lines of the healthcare industry. Here is a link to the information for this trip (pdf brochure and photoblog).
http://www.brianlukeseaward.net/tripstoitaly.html
PDF brochure: http://brianlukeseaward.net/spirit_of_italy_2012.pdf
I hope that this email finds you well and in great spirits (and they will be in better spirits when you come to Ireland and Tuscany, believe me!). As always, thanks for making this a better world to live in and I hope to see you some soon.
Best wishes always,
Don Ardell’s tips for aging well are from his book Aging Beyond Belief, 69 tips for REAL Wellness. REAL wellness stands for Reason, Exuberance And Liberty. Don says you can’t buy pills or treatments for REAL wellness−it’s a mindset and lifestyle you control. It’s never to early to let Reason, Exuberance and Liberty be your guide…these tips are for folks of any age. Enjoy.
Do you know what “central processing unit” (CPU) I’m talking about? I mean the one in your head containing 100 billion neurons, the one able to make about 1,000 trillion interconnections or so, according to R. Grant Steen in The Evolving Brain (Prometheus Books, Amherst, NY, 2007). Your brain, neurophysiologist Steen suggests, is “arguably the most complex object in the universe.”
The more you learn about consciousness and unconsciousness, learning, memory, the role of genes, motivation, aggression and even your brain’s evolution, the more you will look after it. That is, give it new data, use it wisely and take good care of the rest of the organism to which it is attached.
All this attention to the brain takes on added significance as the years accrue on the old CPU. The CPUs in computers can be replaced, but the one in your skull has to be upgraded, regularly if not automatically. There’s work involved, which is often the case when worthwhile returns are at issue. It’s just one more “cross to bear” (I prefer “responsibility to assume”) associated with “senior-hood.” While it tempting to conclude that there is not much (good) to be said for getting older, consider this before getting discouraged:
Besides, what’s there not to like about getting older given the fact that it’s not optional for anyone partial to breathing?
Of course, not all the assertions I listed apply in every case; in some codgers, none applies. I believe it was H. L. Mencken who said, “The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
New evidence has come to light suggesting that Mencken SHOULD have placed more trust in that familiar doctrine. It might, happily enough, be mostly true.
The latest research suggests that, with regard to older brains, like mine, there’s good news and bad news. The bad is not even that bad. Sure, old brains process information more slowly and less nimbly, so decisions (e.g., whether to drive left or right, stop or pull over) take longer. This is a bit of a problem when, for instance, a fast-moving Hummer is being managed by an old brain. But, the good news more than makes up for the pokey decision-making, provided you get where you’re going in one piece without leaving a trail of carnage behind you. It’s true that old brains are not as good at “multitasking” as they once were.
But, here’s the good news, according to Marilyn Albert of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, where brain studies on aging have been getting a lot of attention. (See “Old Brains Don’t Work That Badly After All, Especially Trained Ones,” The Wall Street Journal, March 3, 2006; Page B1.) “Neurons don’t abandon ship.” Our brains retain the ingredients needed, IF we continue to use them and keep the rest of the body in tune. This brings to mind another old adage, “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” This adage is wrong, according to the new findings. You, particularly your brain functions, will live longer if you DON’T give up the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Want to have a “fit brain” with high-end neural circuitry when you’re old? Exercise—both your body AND your mind, daily—and don’t slack off in the later years.
Here is a summary of some of the latest findings:
As Hans Selye once advised, there’s nothing wrong with retirement as long as it does not interfere with your work. By “work,” Selye meant keeping up the social and intellectual demands, avoiding routine and staying engaged in daily affairs.
I like all these requirements. I’ll end this now in order to go off looking for some daily affairs. There you have it—one more reason to live a wellness lifestyle with panache and verve.
Donald B. Ardell was a pioneer in the Wellness movement. He wrote High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs, and Disease, first published in 1976 by Rodale Press, with editions over the years by Bantam Books and Ten-Speed Press. Since then Don has written a dozen additional wellness books, including Die Healthy (with Grant Donovan), 14 Days to Wellness and most recently, Aging Beyond Belief.
The presenter got my attention right off, “I’ve given up on motivating caregivers to care for them-selves. Even when that cancer or heart attack occurs, the majority of caregivers are still impervious to such talks!”
“Wow, I thought, this is an interesting approach!” I leaned back in my chair…looking forward to the dance. I like the dance. I get to use all my best strategies and tactics to avoid facing my issues: I’m attentive, ask good questions, smile, nod, participate, share a personal story or two, fill out the work sheets, do the silly exercises (that seems to impress some presenters), write down the requisite social supports that give the impression I am sincerely interested in making lasting and permanent change and otherwise look for things to include in my next presentation. Then I go back to my old bad habits: working and eating too much, exercising and sleeping too little. You know the drill.
I listened as she went through the usual litany: good nutrition, good exercise, good sleep and a healthy spirituality (usually with a huge dose of mindfulness these days). And after the presentation was over I went for the coup de grace’.
I stood in line and asked her to sign her book. She scrutinized me and asked my name. “John”, I said. Her eyes bored through me like a diamond drill. She quickly scribbled a sentence inside the cover and then flipped the book over for me to read what she had written. “Read it out loud,” she commanded.
I read, “John is your name and compliance is your game” signed Dr. Molly K
Then Ms. Smiley Face leaned forward and whispered way too loud, “You can’t fool me. I’ve got your number. I’ve given up on giving care for the caregiver talks to the likes of you. I know you, and I eat your kind for breakfast. When it comes to self-care you are totally helpless, hopeless…pathetic. It will never happen.”
“Wow”, I thought, “she is good!”
She kept the momentum, “ You get to choose one of only two options. You know about old school spiritual direction…obedience and all that.
“Oh no”, I thought, but deftly parried by nodding compliantly. (but she had me on my heels and she knew it) She had seen through my non-verbals and before I could strike back she barked.
“No…I’m making the choice for you,” I literally jumped backwards! “It’s caregiver boot camp for you.”
I hadn’t heard about caregiver boot camp before, but it sounded kind of fun.
“Not fun!” she snapped, verbally jerking me back to reality and lifting me off the floor by the scruff of the neck at the same time.
“Not fun?” I queried in a strangely pleading voice.
John Sippola, MDiv, has served as a parish pastor for 20 years and as a hospital chaplain for 15 years. A LTC Retired from the Minnesota Army National Guard, John served as the Family Assistance Center chaplain in Duluth, MN during the first Persian Gulf War. During that time, he helped facilitate a support group for spouses and parents, and co-led a support group for the children of deployed service members. As a hospital chaplain, he worked extensively with veterans in chemical dependency and mental health settings. From 1997-2000 John served as the Family Assistance Chaplain for the State of Minnesota. John is convinced that churches have a strategic role in promoting relational and spiritual wellbeing of returning veterans and their families. John is currently pastor of Elim Lutheran Church of Blackhoof in Barnum, Minnesota.
Dear family and friends,
Twenty five years ago today, November 22, 1986, at 30 years of age, our son died by suicide. We commemorate this day – we celebrate Mitchell’s life. Mitch was an exceptional son, grandson, brother and uncle.
For eight years we kept the promise Mitchell asked of us, from the time of his first suicide attempt, not to tell anyone he had a mental illness. He felt it was a ‘shonda’ – a shame, an embarrassment, people wouldn’t value him for who he was, only the see the mental illness. The moment Mitch died, we told anyone and everyone. We were not ashamed or embarrassed. He had a disease, a mental illness. Although Mitchell did not discuss it, we hope other people will as the stigma of mental illness slowly lifts.
To quote Glenn Close about her family members…
“The stigma is toxic. And, like millions of others who live with mental illness in their families, I’ve seen what they endure: the struggle of just getting through the day, and the hurt caused every time someone casually describes someone as “crazy,” “nuts,” or “psycho.”
Even as the medicine and therapy for mental health disorders have made remarkable progress, the ancient social stigma of psychological illness remains largely intact. Families are often unwilling to talk about it and, in movies and the media, stereotypes about the mentally ill still reign.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that by the year 2020 mental illness will be the second leading cause of death and disability. Every society will have to confront the issue. The question is, will we face it with open honesty or silence?”
I remember when my mother would whisper the word cancer. We’ve come a long way. Talking and dealing with mental illness should be no different from having cancer, diabetes or any other disease.
“We have to get the word out that mental illness can be diagnosed and treated, and almost everyone suffering from mental illness can live more normal lives.”
~ Rosalynn Carter
Twenty-five years is such a long time! We miss the hugs, conversations, laughter and even the tears. We miss the family time with him – he SO loved his family (especially his two nieces!) . Mitchell would have loved the 7 more nieces and nephews that were born after his death. He would have loved Tucson and would be so happy for us. At one point, a few years before he died, he visited Vermont and came home with plans to build homes for our entire family to vacation together.
We do know that Mitch looks after us. We feel his spirit and it warms us.
We think about him every day – with love – and with admiration for trying so hard to stay alive.
Ester and Jay Leutenberg
Ester A. Leutenberg has worked in the mental health profession for many years as an author, publisher and as an advocate for those suffering from loss.
10. The most important thing to do in the first thirty seconds you’re center stage (even if you’re sitting at the conference table) is make the audience like you. Do this by using a conversational tone instead of a droning academic “I know more than you do” tone, making good eye contact, connecting with specific people in the audience, and giving the audience time to respond appropriately to your jokes and stories.
9. Use stories from your own personal experience. The more your presentation is based on your own life, the more the audience will sense truth and human emotion. These are very important elements in getting an audience to accept what you have to say, especially if it is something includes bad news of some kind.
8. Plan for things to go wrong. Stand-up comics write “savers,” funny comebacks for the things that might go wrong while they’re on stage. For example, the microphone stops working, cell phones go off, instead of thirty minutes there are now only seventeen for your presentation, half the audience has just rushed out of the room with food poisoning, etc. Being able to respond to problems with a sense of humor shows the audience you work well under pressure and don’t let a few setbacks stop you. And, if you are able to deliver your savers as if you just thought them up off-the-cuff, the audience will be impressed by your quick wit and intellect!
7. Apply some of the rules of comedy to your presentation. Comics all know the rules for making things funnier. These rules also apply in many cases to presentations of all kinds.
6. Remember, what you say is only half the game; your emotion is the other half. A speaker can have the most interesting material in the world, but if there is no passion behind it, no personal interest in what is being said, someone will probably fall asleep and it might be the speaker. Some ways stand-up comics show passion in their material include:
5. Structure your presentation like a stand-up set. Open strong and close even stronger. In between, vary your material so that your stronger and weaker points alternate. This is also a good way to structure a presentation that includes many points that may be received negatively by the listeners – intersperse them with whatever good news you can find so that the audience has a chance to catch their breath.
4. Engage the audience in participatory activities. It’s easier to keep an audience with you if they feel involved, rather than spoken at. Try to keep participatory activities simple, especially if your presentation is in the late afternoon or evening. Hand raising is good (“How many of you have ever experienced any stress? Okay, how many of you are clinically dead?”)
3. Be aware of what speakers before you have discussed. This allows you to avoid duplicating material, but more importantly it gives you an opportunity to show you were listening to them too. This simple tactic increases the audience’s affection for you right away. You too have been “the audience.” And you will get brownie points for being able to show how your topic builds on those of the speakers before you.
2. When you think audiovisuals include props in your thinking. One way to set yourself apart from other speakers is to broaden your use of visual aids beyond PowerPoint to include any objects large enough to be seen by the audience. Hats can be used to distinguish between different jobs or tasks or sides in a debate. A skeleton is a good way to demonstrate a bare bones budget. Have fun with choosing your props and your audience will have fun listening and watching you.
1. Honor your fear. Comedians feel fear too. But they know how to use that fear to fuel the energy behind their set. So next time your knees knock and your palms sweat, think how funny it’ll be to the audience. And think how much more they’ll like you because you’re a real human being too!
Copyright Leigh Anne Jasheway, 2008