Tag Archives: stress

Simplify your life by throwing out the clutter

Spend more time doing things you like

Simplicity is gaining in popularity as a response to our economic times. Even though it goes against our contemporary American brain to be satisfied with greater simplicity and less stuff it came very naturally to our grandparents. Maybe it’s time to return to our practical past by challenging stereotypical American assumptions like:
* Baby boomers’ belief that human worth is tied to how much we work;
* Some parents equating being a good parent with giving your children everything they want;
In other words, simplifying will be different for everyone. What would make your life easier?

Leo Babauta writing for Zenhabits suggests that simplifying means getting rid of much of what you do to spend more time with those you love, doing the things you enjoy. It means “getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.”

Babauta suggests many ideas. The following is adapted from http://zenhabits.net/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life:
* First, write out a clear description of what your simpler life looks like.
* Identify your well-considered priorities or simplifying won’t work for you. Make a list of the four to five most important things to you, what you most value, and what you most want to do in your life.
* Identify which commitments – from family, hobbies, work and volunteering – truly give you value and you deeply enjoy. Which are in the top four to five most important things you listed? Drop those that aren’t.
* Log your time investments from upon awakening until you go to bed. Do they support your top priorities? Eliminate those that don’t. Then redesign how you spend your waking hours.
* Simplify your work and home tasks. Instead of hacking your way through your to-do lists, identify what’s most important and do those first. Eliminate the rest, delegate them or pay someone to do them.
* Set appropriate limits! If you don’t know how, take an assertiveness class. If you set no limits you teach others that you’ll always say “yes” to their requests. And guess what. They’ll keep asking!
* Take control over your emails, cell phone, IM, Twitter, etc. They’ll take over your life if you’re not careful. Set limits like checking emails once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Or admit that these electronic connections are a top priority and more important than whatever else you’re falling behind on.
* Get rid of stuff. It feels good. Use the idea of a workshop participant: once a year she hangs all of her clothes backwards. When she wears something she hangs it back up frontwards. At the end of the year anything that remains hanging backwards gets donated. I love this simple idea!

Happiness and satisfaction are never from what you own. They come from your relationships, being satisfied with what you have, being what you want to be and living your values. Recommit to your simplicity annually to avoid slipping back onto the American hyper-treadmill once the economy recovers.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple.

Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook: Book Release

Teen Aggression & Bullying WorkbookBook Release

Whole Person Associates
PHONE 218.727.0500
FAX 218.727.0505
WEB http://www.wholeperson.com
E.MAIL books@wholeperson.com
CONTACT: Carlene Sippola

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook:

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts

By John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg

Whole Person Associates announces publication of The Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts by John J Liptak, EdD, and Ester Leutenberg. Today’s newspapers, websites, and social sites are full of discussions about how to prevent the aggression and bullying that occurs with greater and greater frequency everywhere from playgrounds to cyberspace. It can disrupt families, workplaces, and communities. As this problem continues to grow, mental health professionals are searching for proven ways to reach troubled teens. The Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook provides just that.

The Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook is divided into six sections, each of which includes:

  • assessment instruments
  • activity handouts
  • quotations to provide insight and promote reflection
  • reflective questions for journaling
  • educational handouts to enhance instruction

Mental health professionals, counselors, teachers, and parents will use these tools to help teens explore violence motivation, environmental aggression, are you (the teen) being bullied, are you a bully, and how you would likely respond if you see bullying behavior. The final section addresses depression and suicide. It includes a detailed questionnaire, idea-prompting lists, and relevant journal questions designed to lead to productive in-depth discussions about how problems arise and how they can be solved.

The Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts is one of a series of 12 books covering mental health and lifestyle issues familiar to all professionals working with teens. Being released concurrently are: The Teen Friendship Workbook and The Teen Anger Workbook.

Teen Aggression & Bullying Workbook

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts

Written by: John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg
No. of pages: 132
Softcover:  Price $49.95
ISBN: 978-1-57025-252-5
Publication date: 2011

About the Authors

John J. Liptak, EdD, frequently conducts workshops on assessment-related topics. He has written three books on career-related topics which have been featured in numerous newspapers including The Washington Post, The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Associated Press. His work has also been featured on MSNBC, CNN Radio, and on the PAX/ION television series, “Success without a College Degree.” John has many years of experience in providing counseling services to individuals and groups in a variety of settings including job training programs, correctional institutions, and colleges and universities. In addition, John has ten years of teaching experience as

an assistant professor. With Kathy Khalsa and Ester Leutenberg, he has written three other comprehensive books for teachers and counselors to use with their students and clients: The Self-Esteem Program, The Social Skills Program, and The Stress Management Program:  Inventories, Activities & Educational Handouts. John and Ester Leutenberg continue to co-write books to add to their Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook series, published by Whole Person Associates as well as a series of 12 books addressing teen mental health issues.

Ester A. Leutenberg has worked in the mental health field for many years as a publisher, author, and advocate for those suffering from loss. She personally experienced a devastating loss when her son Mitchell, after struggling with a mental illness for eight years, died by suicide in 1986. Soon after, as a way of both healing and helping others, Ester co-founded Wellness Reproductions & Publishing with her daughter Kathy Khalsa and began developing therapeutic products that help facilitators help their clients. Ester is the co-author of the SEALS series for teen-agers, Life Management Skills series for adults and Meaningful Life Skills for older adults, as well as a variety of therapeutic card games, board games, and posters. Ester has co-written GriefWork —Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion, and Creating a Healthy Balanced Life.

Ester and John have co-written the Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series, the Teen Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series and are currently working on a Coping Workbook Series, all published by Whole Person Associates.

About the Illustrator

Amy L. Brodsky, LISW-S, has worked assisting children and adults in psychiatric crisis. She is well known for her creative illustrations of the Emotions product line, over 35 therapeutic books, including the Life Management Skills and SEALS series, the een Relationship Workbook, Crossing the Bridge, GriefWork—Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion, Creating a Healthy Balanced Life, and the Liptak/Leutenberg Workbook series.

Teen Friendship Workbook: Book Release

Teen Friendship WorkbookBook Release

Whole Person Associates
PHONE 218.727.0500
FAX 218.727.0505
WEB http://www.wholeperson.com
E.MAIL books@wholeperson.com
CONTACT: Carlene Sippola

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Teen Friendship Workbook

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts

By John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg

Whole Person Associates announces publication of The Teen Friendship Wokbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts by John J Liptak, EdD, and Ester Leutenberg. Choosing healthy friendships is of monumental importance to teenagers. As they move into middle school and high school they will experience changes in friends, personal style, social life, emotions…in fact in all aspects of their lives. The Teen Friendship Workbook will help counselors, teachers, therapists, and parents guide teens to choose wisely, avoiding potentially risky situations. Using worksheets, assessments, and games teens will learn how to say “no” and to avoid being negatively influenced by their peers. Adults working with teens will appreciate the quality of the materials as well as the time they save having a versatile collection of tools right at hand on their bookshelf.

The Teen Friendship Workbook contains five separate sections to help teens learn more about themselves and the skills that are fundamental to developing and maintaining healthy friendships:

  • Characteristics of Friends Scale – helps teens explore the types of positive and negative qualities their friendships possess.
  • Friendships Skills Scale – helps identify the strengths and weakness teens possess in interacting with their friends.
  • Friend Communication Skills Scale – helps identify and explore how well teens are communicating with their friends and develop better friendship communication skills
  • Friendship Personality Scale – helps teens understand their own personality and the personality of their friends to better accept one another for the ways they are different.
  • Peer Pressure Scale – helps identify the ways in which teens feel pressured or influenced by their friends to do things they may or may not want to do.

The Teen Friendship Workbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts is one of a series of 12 books covering mental health and lifestyle issues familiar to all professionals working with teens. Being released concurrently are: The Teen Aggression and Bullying Workbook and The Teen Anger Workbook.

Teen Friendship Workbook

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts

Written by: John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg
No. of pages: 122
Softcover:  Price $49.95
ISBN: 978-1-57025-249-5
Publication date: 2011

About the Authors

John J. Liptak, EdD, frequently conducts workshops on assessment-related topics. He has written three books on career-related topics which have been featured in numerous newspapers including The Washington Post, The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Associated Press. His work has also been featured on MSNBC, CNN Radio and on the PAX / ION television series, “Success without a College Degree.” John has many years of experience in providing counseling services to individuals and groups in a variety of settings including job training programs, correctional institutions, and colleges and universities. In addition, John has about ten years of teaching experience as

an assistant professor. With Kathy Khalsa and Ester Leutenberg, he has written three other comprehensive books for teachers and counselors to use with their students and clients: The Self-Esteem Program, The Social Skills Program, and The Stress Management Program:  Inventories, Activities & Educational Handouts. With Whole Person Associates, he and Ester Leutenberg continue to co-write books to add to their Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook series.

Ester A. Leutenberg has worked in the mental health field for many years as a publisher, author, and advocate for those suffering from loss. She personally experienced a devastating loss when her son Mitchell, after struggling with a mental illness for eight years, died by suicide in 1986. Soon after, as a way of both healing and helping others, Ester co-founded Wellness Reproductions & Publishing with her daughter Kathy Khalsa and began developing therapeutic products that help facilitators help their clients. Ester is the co-author of the SEALS series for teen-agers, Life Management Skills series for adults and Meaningful Life Skills for older adults, as well as a variety of therapeutic card games, board games and posters. Ester has co-written GriefWork ~ Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion and Creating a Healthy Balanced Life.

Ester and John have co-written the Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series, the Teen Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series and are currently working on a Coping Workbook Series, all published by Whole Person Associates.

About the Illustrator

Amy L. Brodsky, LISW-S, has worked assisting children and adults in psychiatric crisis. She is well known for her creative illustrations of the Emotions product line, over 35 therapeutic books, including the Life Management Skills and SEALS series, the Teen Relationship Workbook, Crossing the Bridge, GriefWork ~ Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion, Creating a Healthy Balanced Life, and the Liptak / Leutenberg Workbook series.

Want to simplify your life? Listen to inner wisdom

If it’s true that our new economic reality is here for a while, what can we do to cope?

How about simplifying and living within your means to reduce financial stress now and to enable living more wisely in the future?

It’s fortunate that the best things in life are very simple – and free: love, motivating work, enjoying nature. Yet most of us are chained to making a certain income to support a cluttered lifestyle, the opposite of simplicity. At the other extreme are some younger people who are promoting a lifestyle where you only possess 100 things. If you have three pair of jeans that counts for three! That’s too stark for me but the sentiment is appreciated.

A good place to start figuring out where you could simplify is to listen to your inner wisdom. But do you listen and act on its authentic advice? To hear it you must slow down. You could:
* Begin your morning routine more slowly. Get up a few minutes earlier, brush your teeth more slowly, eat slowly, and drive more slowly.
* Daily connect with nature with a conscious walk; not just a mechanical one, but one where you focus on the birds, the squirrels and the emerging morning light. At minimum before getting into your car deep breathe the fresh air and appreciate our gorgeous, emerging fall weather.
* Surround yourself with beauty. I don’t mean buy stuff that becomes clutter but rather make your surroundings more attractive with flowers, photos, meaningful mementos, candles and fresh air.
* Seek and enjoy silence daily, the opposite of the cacophony of daily noises: the alarming alarm that shocks you awake, the offensive hair dryer, the endless drone of depressing TV news, the ubiquitous office clamor. All day we’re surrounded by so much noise that it becomes part of the backdrop of life — until it totally stops — leaving the sweet sound of silence.

Don’t underestimate the stress of this incessant noise. To hear your inner voice above it you must regularly stop the noise and create silence for yourself through deep relaxation, sitting in silence with no TV or music, sitting comfortably in nature listening to its peaceful and natural sounds.

With practice, you’ll slow down allowing your intuition to surface. Keep a journal nearby to record your thoughts. You don’t need to act on any ideas but at least get them onto paper and into your conscious mind.

To attract your intuition to surface ask and answer questions:
§ What energizes/drains me the most? Why?
§ What part of my life is/isn’t working? Why?
§ What could I do to make life easier?

Be patient. It may take awhile for your answers to surface.

Americans have bought tons of stuff and discovered it doesn’t make us happier. In fact, the more stuff you have the more you want. Simplifying your life clears out the clutter so the clarity of what you really need shines through.

-Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple.

Stages of Grief

You grieve mentally, physically and spiritually. Many of us experience a similar cycle when grieving — they are common steps we use to help heal. Some people skip steps.

1. Denial When the pain is too great, we temporarily shut down. You feel so numb you act as though nothing happened.
2. Eruption Your emotions suddenly break out —it seems to hit at once.
3. Anger You’ll get angry angry: it’s unfair, someone should have changed things, you don’t understand why. You may even be angry at who you’ve lost for deserting you.
4. Illness Illness and stress go hand in hand. Don’t be surprised if you’re sick.
5. Panic You worry you’ll never get over the loss, that you’ve lost yourself.  You wonder if what you’re going through is normal.
6. Guilt We try to find something to blame.  If there is no one to blame, we blame ourselves.  Feeling as though it’s your fault seems more bearable than there being no reason at all.
7. Loneliness You find yourself avoiding others, feeling as though they can’t understand. You withdraw from friends and family.
8. Re-Entry You want to move on, but can’t yet. You feel loyalty to the memory of who you lost, and worry moving on would be abandoning them.
9. Hope You don’t know when, but one day, you notice you’re doing better. You feel like a fog has lifted. You begin to think you’ll be ok again someday.
10. Reality You reconstruct your life, using the new strengths you’ve gained from grieving.

Teen Anger Workbook – Book Release

Whole Person LogoBook Release

Whole Person Associates
PHONE 218.727.0500
FAX 218.727.0505
WEB http://www.wholeperson.com
E.MAIL books@wholeperson.com
CONTACT: Carlene Sippola

Teen Anger WorkbookFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Teen Anger Workbook

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts

By John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg

Whole Person Associates announces publication of The Teen Anger Workbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts by John J Liptak, EdD, and Ester Leutenberg. Teaching teens to handle their anger is one of the most challenging tasks of counselors, therapists, teachers, and parents. The Teen Anger Workbook provides tools to help young people engage in self-reflection, examine their thoughts and feelings that lead to anger, and learn effective tools and techniques to effectively manage the inevitable feelings of anger they will experience throughout their lives.

Divided into five separate sections, The Teen Anger Workbook provides a myriad of tools to guide teens through the exploration of a difficult topic and to learn more about themselves and now anger impacts their lives.

  • Teen Anger Triggers Scale helps individuals explore what triggers feelings of anger within them.
  • Teen Anger Intensity Scale helps individuals identify how prone they are to anger and how strong their feelings are of anger.
  • Teen Anger Expression Scale helps individuals identify their particular ways of expressing their anger to other people.
  • Teen Anger Consequences Scale helps individuals explore the adverse effects of uncontrolled anger on their relationships and life.
  • Teen Anger Management Scale helps individuals better understand their skills in managing the anger in their life.

The Teen Anger Workbook: Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts is one of a series of 12 books covering mental health and lifestyle issues familiar to all professionals working with teens. Being released concurrently are: The Teen Friendship Workbook and The Teen Aggression and Bullying Workbook.

The Teen Anger Workbook

Facilitator Reproducible Self-Assessments, Exercises & Educational Handouts
Written by: John J Liptak, EdD and Ester Leutenberg
No. of pages: 122
Softcover:  Price $49.95
ISBN: 978-1-57025-250-1
Publication date: 2011

About the Authors

John J. Liptak, EdD, frequently conducts workshops on assessment-related topics. He has written three books on career-related topics which have been featured in numerous newspapers including The Washington Post, The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Associated Press. His work has also been featured on MSNBC, CNN Radio, and on the PAX / ION television series, “Success without a College Degree.” John has many years of experience in providing counseling services to individuals and groups in a variety of settings including job training programs, correctional institutions, and colleges and universities. In addition, John has ten years of teaching experience as

an assistant professor. With Kathy Khalsa and Ester Leutenberg, he has written three other comprehensive books for teachers and counselors to use with their students and clients: The Self-Esteem Program, The Social Skills Program, and The Stress Management Program:  Inventories, Activities & Educational Handouts. John and Ester Leutenberg continue to co-write books to add to their Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook series, published by Whole Person Associates.

Ester A. Leutenberg has worked in the mental health field for many years as a publisher, author, and advocate for those suffering from loss. She personally experienced a devastating loss when her son Mitchell, after struggling with a mental illness for eight years, died by suicide in 1986. Soon after, as a way of both healing and helping others, Ester co-founded Wellness Reproductions & Publishing with her daughter Kathy Khalsa and began developing therapeutic products that help facilitators help their clients. Ester is the co-author of the SEALS series for teen-agers, Life Management Skills series for adults and Meaningful Life Skills for older adults, as well as a variety of therapeutic card games, board games, and posters. Ester has co-written GriefWork —Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion, and Creating a Healthy Balanced Life.

Ester and John have co-written the Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series, the Teen Mental Health & Life Skills Workbook Series and are currently working on a Coping Workbook Series, all published by Whole Person Associates.

About the Illustrator

Amy L. Brodsky, LISW-S, has worked assisting children and adults in psychiatric crisis. She is well known for her creative illustrations of the Emotions product line, over 35 therapeutic books, including the Life Management Skills and SEALS series, the Teen Relationship Workbook, Crossing the Bridge, GriefWork—Healing from Loss, The GriefWork Companion, Creating a Healthy Balanced Life, and the Liptak/Leutenberg Workbook series.

Other Links:

http://parentingteens.com/blog/2010/10/20/5-steps-for-teens-to-fight-anger/

http://www.troubledteenswizard.com/blog/anger-management

http://www.at-risk.org/blog/1032/teens-out-of-control/

http://www.lifeworksaz.com/counselors-blog/category/angry-teenager-anger-adolescent-angry-child/

Grief: A Natural Stress

The greatest distress most of us ever have to survive is the death of a loved one. Grief is the process we go through when we are recovering from a loss. It can be a major or minor, and the amount of grief experienced by each person will vary. Some losses are simply more painful than others.

If you are going through the grieving process, allow it to happen. You need time to recover from the injury. If you were suffering from an illness, you would give yourself some time off. Death isn’t any different. Take your time; find other things in life to focus on, to spend your love and energy on. This is not to say you will ever, ever replace the person you lost. You will learn to accept your new normal. There is no replacing a loved one — people aren’t things. You need an outlet for your stress energy. Let yourself lean on friends and family; join a support group if you need to. Don’t be afraid to reach out during this difficult time.

You will never get over your loss. You will always love and miss the person who is gone, but you can and must accept their passing and move on. You are forever changed, but you continue on with a new strength and purpose, becoming a stronger person who experiences life on a deeper level.

*Click here for Grief Resources from Whole Person.

Grief Work

One Stage at a Time

There are many ways to handle the stresses caused by life stages.  An important one is not to take yourself too seriously. Laugh at the little things in life, and remember that all stages in life – the terror of being out on your own for the first time in your twenties, the confusion of processing death at 70 – will pass with time. Be patient; it’s all just a stage! Keep in mind as you age that coping skills won’t always work the same way.

Aging helps you develop a fuller, deeper perception if you let it. Keep in touch with friends both older and younger than you. It’s amazing to see someone go through the same stages you did, and it’s helpful to see someone go through those that are approaching.  Watching others helps you see first hand the benefits of accepting aging as a part of life. Continue forward instead of looking back. Some people live in the past and others can’t seem to stop worrying about the future. What we should all try to do is cultivate today’s joys, because they become the future. Today’s joys also become tomorrow’s cherished memories. Be patient, have a sense of humor, and accept life in all of its stages. Things will be a lot less stressful.

Stages of Life and Stress

Here are some of the stresses and joys of each life stage.

Breaking Loose Leaving home, focusing on/conforming to peers, testing our wings, loneliness, attachment to causes, changing lifestyle, throwing out family morals.
Building the nest Searching for identity, intimate friendships, marriage, intoxication with ones own power, great dreams, making commitments, taking on responsibilities, launching a career, working towards goals, doing shoulds, finding a mentor, thinking about having children.
Looking around Raising questions, recognizing painful limitations, gathering possessions, moving up a career ladder, questioning marriage, settling down, having children, desiring freedom, what do I want to do with my life?
Mid-Life rebirth Awareness of mortality, diminishing physical energy, emotional turmoil, parenting teenagers, finding new friends and developing deeper relationships with current ones, asking deep questions, changing careers, second adolescence, divorce, remarriage, conflicting pressures, learning to play again.
Investing in life Life reordered, settling down again, embracing new values, focusing on relationships rather than on possessions or power, nurturing a few good friendships, grandparenting, having more freedom, enjoying life, adjusting to an empty nest, facing lost dreams.
Deepening wisdom Softening and mellowing, steady commitments, deepening richness, simplifying life, adjusting to limitations, loss of energy, retirement, quiet joys, self-knowledge, and facing death.
Twilight years Loneliness, freedom from shoulds, dependence, mind sharp/body failing and/or body fine/mind failing, death of mate and friends, preparing for death, achieving a sense of peace and perspective.
  • Where are you now?
  • How are you experiencing changes physically?
  • Are you holding on to some things that may be best left behind?
  • Are you stretching yourself too far forward?

*Find out more about our Stress Management and Wellness Promotion Resources and Self-Care Products.

Growing Older is Stressful!

How many times have you heard a child say they can’t wait to grow up? Did you chuckle to yourself? Why is it that as a kid, you want to grow up and as an adult, you want to go back? It is because growing older can be stressful.  The stresses of going through the aging process are numerous. Some people turn a blind eye to getting older, but they’re only fooling themselves. Aging happens whether you’re paying attention to it or not. However, if you are aware of the ways that you’re aging, you can prevent a lot of distress. If you accept that the years are passing, you can view that first grey hair with a laugh, and think of it as a physical sign of your growing wisdom. If you don’t accept that you’re aging, you’ll probably panic and just pull it out. (Be warned, however, that it’ll just grow back!)

  • Do you feel as though you’ve acknowledged that you will age?
  • Are you putting off coming to grips with reality, or are you accepting the passing years gracefully?

Kicking Your Stress Habits

Life Changes and Stress

Internal or external change is unavoidable. If too much happens too fast, you’ll end up feeling stressed. If things change too slowly, you’re bored.  Both positive and negative changes are stressful and your mind and body need time to recover. Increased stress is medically linked to illness, so take it easy. It’s no simple task to do so, since life changes come in clusters. Think about it. When you’re moving, you’re not just changing your house; you’re changing your physical climate, job, friends, church, schools, grocery store, and social activities. Some changes are easier to handle than others, but trying to prevent change altogether is asking for trouble. We all need change in our lives.

If things are too static, try saying yes to something you haven’t done before.  If things are changing too fast, say no, and don’t let yourself feel guilty! We all need time off, and you can’t please everyone.

Sometimes, life will spin out of control. At crisis moments, you need a survival plan.  Remember coping skills that have worked in the past, and apply them to your current disaster. Hold on to what works.  Let go of what doesn’t.

Life Changes Checklist

Mark all of the life changes that you have experienced over the past year.

PERSONAL CHANGES

  • Personal injury, illness or handicap
  • Pregnancy (yours or a partners’)
  • Change in religious views or beliefs
  • Change in financial status
  • Change in self-concept
  • Ending a relationship
  • Change in emotional outlook
  • Change in roles
  • Buying or selling a car
  • Aging
  • Change in habits

-Alcohol

– Drugs

– Tobacco

– Exercise

– Nutrition

FAMILY CHANGES

  • Marriage
  • Family members leaving home
  • New family member(s)
  • Separation/divorce
  • Trouble with in-laws
  • Partner stopping/ starting a job
  • Illness/healing of a family member
  • Death of a close friend or family member
  • Parent/child tensions
  • Change in recreational patterns

WORK CHANGES

  • Changes work load
  • Change in play
  • Starting a new job
  • Promotion/ demotion
  • Retirement
  • Change in hours
  • Change in relationships at work
  • Change in job security
  • Strike
  • Change in financial status

ENVIRONMENT CHANGES

  • Natural disaster
  • Holidays
  • Vacation
  • Remodeling
  • War
  • Major house cleaning
  • Crime against property
  • Moving to a new
  • House or Apartment
  • Neighborhood
  • Climate
  • Culture
  • City
  • State
  • Country

  • How did these changes affect you?
  • What was one change that had a surprising effect on you?

· What was one change that had a surprising effect on you?

Commitment versus Surrender

Commitment is your belief system in action. It is the decision to invest in particular goals, values, beliefs, and concepts. It seems as though there are a million things you want to do with your life, and even more you have to do. These want-to’s and have-to’s in life create stress if you don’t make good decisions about which is which. You’ll feel stressed if you only pay attention to either one.  Maybe you try too hard to do it all. If you find yourself saying there isn’t enough time, then you’ve got too much on your plate. It can make you feel panicked, rushed, and overwhelmed. On the other hand, having too little on your plate leaves you feeling unchallenged, bored, and depressed.

If you’ve taken on too much, you need to surrender something. We don’t like to surrender. We hate feeling  we had to give in or that we lost, but surrendering isn’t failing or losing. It’s the flip side of commitment, not the opposite of winning. It’s adjusting, and it can be as simple as changing your pace or realizing when a commitment is unrealistic.

  • Are you trying too hard to include all the want-to’s and  have-to’s  in your limited time?
  • Is there anything you want to surrender?  Need to surrender?

Understanding Self-Concept

Kicking Your Stress HabitsAnother part of your belief system is your self-concept. These are subjective ideas that are stuck in your head about yourself. Self-concept includes ideas about your limitations, abilities, appearance, emotional resources, your place in the world, potential, and even your worthiness. These alter your everyday choices and model the way you think. As an example, you may think you’re a lousy public speaker, but it turns out you’re really great. You, however, believe you’re no good at addressing a group, so you turn down an opportunity to speak at a conference even though it could do wonders for your career. You doubt your own ability so you opt out, and limit your potential.

Self-concept begins in childhood and is reinforced throughout your life based on your experiences. Perceptions about your own worth are very slow to change, even with a lot of positive reinforcement. When your self-concept isn’t in sync with reality you will feel distress. Others will have expectations and beliefs about you with which you are uncomfortable. You will constantly feel  as though you’re not prepared for situations like the conference. How stressed would you be if you had to give a speech anyway and you had no trust in your abilities?

  • Do you often feel as though you’re out of place?
  • Have you begun to realize some of your perceptions don’t match reality?

Faith, Stress, and You

Kicking Your Holiday Stress HabitsFaith isn’t necessarily religious. Many people have faith in God, but people also have faith in the Golden Rule, in Karma, in our spouses, in our grandma’s favorite phrase, or in the idea that family comes first.  All of these are examples of faith and beliefs. These directly influence how you act. For example, If you genuinely believe that all are forgiven, you will forgive people more easily and sincerely.

Faith can be a great cause of distress for many people, especially when people have outdated or irrational beliefs. An outdated belief might be something such as continuing to believe you must not talk to strangers because you were taught not to do so as a child. An irrational belief is something such as  “If everyone tries hard, they can do everything perfectly”.  That kind of faith in people creates a lot of distress when someone somewhere messes up.  Faith takes many forms, and while it can be a great comfort and a huge factor in our lives, it can also cause extra distress.

  • What do you have faith in?
  • What kind of beliefs do you hold close?
  • Does your faith ever cause problems for you in your everyday life?

DECEMBER Monthly Special

Dear Friends:Carlene Sippola

As a thank you to our loyal customers, our special this month is 25% discount on all our products*. Year-end is a great time to take stock of the materials you have and order new ones. Simply enter DECEMBER (expires 12/2010) in the coupon code as you check out, and the discount will automatically be applied.

The Ready-to-Run Workshops are now available in two formats: Print version and as an E-book. We’ll be expanding E-book offerings over the next year. Stay tuned!

Don’t forget to check out the website. Navigation buttons have been moved to the right of the home page for easier access. Many products now allow you a look inside the cover. New articles are posted to the blog regularly, special deals are in the clearance room, and, of course, you can order our monthly specials with a couple of quick clicks.

We at Whole Person Associates wish you and yours a joy-filled holiday season!

Carlene Sippola

Publisher

*Excluding Kicking Your Holiday Stress Habits and The Mental Health & Life Skills Collection.

Offer not valid with any other offer.

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Bonus Special!

50% discount.

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Start out the new year with exciting new tools. Stock up now on professional resources in stress management, wellness promotion, relaxation, self-help, mental health activity books, coaching, and much more.

Offer excludes Kicking Your Holiday Stress Habits and the Mental Health & Life Skills Collection.

Dear Friends:

As a thank you to our loyal customers, our special this month is 25% discount on all our products*. Year-end is a great time to take stock of the materials you have and order new ones. Simply enter DECEMBER in the coupon code as you check out, and the discount will automatically be applied.

The Ready-to-Run Workshops are now available in two formats: Print version and as an E-book. We’ll be expanding E-book offerings over the next year. Stay tuned!

Don’t forget to check out the website. Navigation buttons have been moved to the right of the home page for easier access. Many products now allow you a look inside the cover. New articles are posted to the blog regularly, special deals are in the clearance room, and, of course, you can order our monthly specials with a couple of quick clicks.

We at Whole Person Associates wish you and yours a joy-filled holiday season!

Carlene Sippola

Publisher

*Excluding Kicking Your Holiday Stress Habits and The Mental Health & Life Skills Collection.

Offer not valid with any other offer.

The Values in Your Life

Have you ever been in an argument where you found yourself fighting against something, but you’re not sure why? You can only explain that it’s what’s right. This is an example of a value coming to the surface. Values are what help you define the things you find important in your life. Understanding your goals, faith, and self-concept are more straightforward.  Your goals are a conscious decision; values are a model of thought and behavior. Values are right under the surface, where they affect your actions but you aren’t consciously aware of them. You probably won’t notice values until they’ve been challenged.

Values cause distress when they clash with other values – sometimes those of others around you and sometimes against your own.  Perhaps you value friendship, and you also value having down time.  So, if you get a call from a friend who wants to go out while you’re relaxing, you will want to do both, and end up feeling bad if you stay home, but ruffled if you go out. Examine your actions and reactions to find out your values.

  • What sort of things get your attention?
  • What kinds of things irk you?
  • What makes you upset, or tired, or excited?

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Your Goals and Your Stress

Kicking Your Stress Habits

Goals help you decide how to use your time and energy. They are motivators for long or short term plans. Some goals are concrete; get a degree, clean the refrigerator, get an oil change. Others aren’t as clear cut; be a good friend, increase self-esteem, be happy. You may feel distress if you don’t spend time on the goals that matter to you. Maybe you want to get a degree, but you feel trapped by your full time job. Your goal of getting your degree is making you feel pinched at work and panicked that you’ll never have time.

Having conflicting goals, or too many a once can also cause distress. If you are unsure of what your goals are, you will drift from one meaningless task to the next. A vague uneasiness is associated with a lack of goals, rather like that nagging feel when you think you’ve forgotten something.

Do you have too many goals? Too few? You may be comfortable with one goal to work consistently on, or you may prefer to have as many goals as hours in a day. We all have to figure out exactly what number of goals we each individually feel good about committing to; everyone is different.

  • What kind of goals do you have?
  • What kind of goals would you like to have?
  • Is this a good amount for you?

Kicking Your Holiday Stress Habits

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Activity Scrapbook

Children & Stress CoverFind more wonderful activities for children and families in Children & Stress.

Stuffing yourself on Thanksgiving can add pounds

I asked my husband what I should write about for Thanksgiving week and his immediate response was, “the turkeys in our lives.” After I stopped laughing I decided to focus on the real Thanksgiving turkey.

To stuff yourself or not to stuff yourself on Thanksgiving, that is the question.

There’s a part of me that says, “Oh what the heck, it’s only once a year.” Then the responsible-me remembers how miserable I feel when I overeat. Plus, my husband and I have Thanksgiving, Christmas, both of our birthdays and our anniversary from mid November to New Year’s Eve. So we can careen from one reason to overdo it to another and find ourselves on January 1 feeling like stuffed turkeys.

To counter this, in early January every year for two days, we eat nothing but apples. We purge ourselves of all of the stuff we’ve eaten since my husband’s birthday. It feels good. I’ve been doing it since the late 1960s.

But I also consciously remind myself throughout the holiday season how uncomfortable it feels to overindulge. Plus I don’t want the added weight to add up over the years, which would require that I shop for new clothes, something I hate to do.

Remembering Aristotle’s Doctrine of the Mean phrase, “Moderation in all things,” can help, too.

Think of this immoderate estimate of how many calories the average American eats on Thanksgiving Day:
* More than 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat! (Source: Caloric Control Council)
* The Council finds that most of these calories come from all-day snacking in front of the TV watching parades and football games.
* FYI: one pound equals about 3,500 calories.

The National Institutes of Health and the Medical University of South Carolina found that the average person’s weight gain over the holidays is just over one pound. So, it’s OK to eat anything and everything you want since one pound is not much, right?

But the researchers also found that 85% of study participants still carried that extra pound one year later. If you gain and retain an extra pound each year they’ll add up. Duh!

Striving for balance and moderation is usually good advice no matter the concern. So if you eat too much lefse (the Norwegian delicacy I make for my family) over the holidays try making it last longer than just for the holidays. If you drink too much alcohol maybe you should consider setting a limit on how much you allow yourself. If you feel uncomfortable when you overeat why not use a small dinner plate and fill it only once?

So, what, if anything, will you do to avoid overindulging on Thanksgiving? Whichever choices you make, make them conscious ones. Identify what would define moderation for you. Then over the holiday weekend and for the next month keep an eye on yourself (without obsessing) and set appropriate limitation on your excesses.

Above all, enjoy Thanksgiving and all that it represents.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple.