Have you ever been in an argument where you found yourself fighting against something, but you’re not sure why? You can only explain that it’s what’s right. This is an example of a value coming to the surface. Values are what help you define the things you find important in your life. Understanding your goals, faith, and self-concept are more straightforward.  Your goals are a conscious decision; values are a model of thought and behavior. Values are right under the surface, where they affect your actions but you aren’t consciously aware of them. You probably won’t notice values until they’ve been challenged.

Values cause distress when they clash with other values – sometimes those of others around you and sometimes against your own.  Perhaps you value friendship, and you also value having down time.  So, if you get a call from a friend who wants to go out while you’re relaxing, you will want to do both, and end up feeling bad if you stay home, but ruffled if you go out. Examine your actions and reactions to find out your values.

• What sort of things get your attention?
• What kinds of things irk you?
• What makes you upset, or tired, or excited?