Tag Archives: Donna Torney

Appreciation and Independence: On Gratitude in Young Adulthood – Gratefulness.org

Can you remember feeling gratitude as a young adult? Maybe you were having the time of your life at a concert. Perhaps you were taking your first solo road trip and came upon a beautiful scenic vista. Maybe you had a community you felt sure of. Or maybe your received a gift to help you make ends meet; one freely given, with no strings attached.

We may instinctively know that gratitude, along with joy, love, awe, humor, and a handful of other positive emotions, adds to our health and well-being. But gratitude can be a hard emotion to access when…

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Source: Appreciation and Independence: On Gratitude in Young Adulthood – Gratefulness.org

Mindfulness?

Mindfulness?

Excerpted from Mindfulness for Emerging Adults: Finding balance, belonging, focus, and meaning in the digital age

By Donna Torney MA, LMHC, RYT

Mindfulness has become a household word in popular culture causing some of us to see it as just another fad. But emerging adults can trust in mindfulness practices thanks to the large body of scientific evidence proving the benefits of this once esoteric idea. Recent studies have shown that mindfulness practices can help us manage stress and anxiety, better communicate with friends and co-workers, and build our ability to give and receive love and compassion.

Emerging Adult in a moment of MindfulnessMost researchers define mindfulness to include these two main components:

  1. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing yourself back to the present moment, over and over. Our minds are wired to have a sometimes anxiety-provoking bias toward planning for the future or remembering the past. Mindfulness practices tame this bias.
  2. Mindfulness is reacting to the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness practices help us build the capacity to notice, without self-criticism, when we lose sight of the present moment.

One emerging adult I work with describes mindfulness as the ability to be with one’s current set of circumstances without freaking out. She tells me that mini-mindfulness breaks at her workplace help her notice when she is having an automatic negative reaction to a situation, something that was getting in the way of her success at work. By employing mindfulness she found that she was better able to stay open to present moment experience in a way that helps her feel less threatened by new people and places. This skill, in turn, helps her with making conscious choices about her future and building more successful connections with peers.

Starting in the mid-20th century, in a time when millions of people were healing from the aftermath of two world wars, theories that elaborate on optimum human development began to emerge. These theories expanded on child development to acknowledge that adults continue to grow and evolve psychosocially way beyond the point of reaching full physical maturity. But this perpetual maturing only happens if we are willing to continue learning from life experiences and adapt in healthy ways – a process that demands mindfulness.

Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development

Young man emerging adult on campusErik Erikson’s classic model of psychosocial development has been used as a frame for exploring human growth beyond childhood by many prominent social scientists. Erikson’s model measures timeless developmental struggles and serves as a good frame when thinking about using contemplative exercises to foster positive adult maturity. Erikson went well beyond Freud’s focus on unconscious drives, seeking to legitimize theories of human altruistic potential.

Most scholars of human development see Erickson’s stages as flexible, to be expanded or contracted based on current cultural norms. They are not necessarily completed fully and sequentially. As balance is gained in one area of psychosocial development, it will affect the next area. This is good news! Life presents many twists and turns and often we must abandon straight-forward developmental maturity in order to survive. The beauty of Erikson’s model is that it acknowledges that individuals can circle back and revisit certain developmental processes.

Summary – Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development
Life stage Conflict Resolution or value attained Manifestation in adult life Example
Infancy (0-1 year) Learning basic trust vs. mistrust Hope Appreciation of human interdependence I accept help and trust that it is available.
Early childhood (1-3 years) Autonomy vs. shame and doubt Will Acceptance of the life cycle and impermanence I can manage disappointment
Play age (3-6 years) Initiative vs. guilt Purpose Humor, resiliency, compassion I don’t take myself too seriously; I take time to enjoy life.
School age (6-12 years) Industry vs. inferiority Competence Humility, accepting unfulfilled hopes I have both strengths and weaknesses.
Adolescence (12-19 years) Identity vs. role confusion Fidelity Merging of complex thought and emotions I take both emotions and logic into account.
Early adulthood (20-25 years) Intimacy vs. isolation Love Acceptance of the complexity of long-term relationships, openness, loving-kindness I am willing to work to maintain important relationships.
Adulthood (26-64 years) Generativity vs. stagnation Care Caring for others, empathy and concern My life has more meaning when Icare for my community.
Elderhood (65+ years) Ego integrity vs. despair Wisdom A sense of identity and integrity that tempers physical limitations I feel content and I accept the aging process.

 

A printable version of this chart can be found here.

The famous Harvard-Grant Study of Adult Development uses many of Erikson’s ideas. The Grant study followed a cohort of men who entered Harvard in the late 1930s, along with other less privileged young men. For over seventy-five years, this study has measured everything from blood pressure, to alcohol intake, to coping styles, and more recently, to brain activity. The study compares these measurements with the participant’s satisfaction and success in work and in relationships. Researchers involved with this longitudinal study are still collecting data and refining its findings on test subjects who are now in their eighth decade of life.

Most scholars of human development see Erickson’s stages as flexible, to be expanded or contracted based on current cultural norms. They are not necessarily completed fully and sequentially. As balance is gained in one area of psychosocial development, it will affect the next area. This is good news! Life presents many twists and turns and often we must abandon straight-forward developmental maturity in order to survive. The beauty of Erikson’s model is that it acknowledges that individuals can circle back and revisit certain developmental processes.

Mindfulness for Emerging Adults Book Release

Because of the current elongated road to adulthood, (see “Are We There Yet”) there is often a blending; some might say a clash, of the adolescent and emerging adult developmental milestones of finding identity and finding intimacy. George Vaillant, long-time director of the Harvard-Grant study, states that we must first master identity before finding true intimacy. Vaillant defines mastery of identity as achieving economic, social, and ideological independence from one’s parents.

Mindfulness for Emerging Adults: Finding balance, belonging, focus, and meaning in the digital age By Donna Torney MA, LMHC, RYT is a new Whole Person Associates book. Now available for order at WholePerson.com.

WPA Book Release: Mindfulness for Emerging Adults

Book Release

For Immediate Publication

Mindfulness for Emerging Adults Book ReleaseMindfulness for Emerging Adults

Finding balance, belonging, focus and meaning in the digital age.

By Donna Torney, MA, LMHC, RYT
Publisher: Whole Person Associates
Number of pages: 258
Publication Date: September, 2017
Contact Person: Peg Johnson, or Carlene Sippola: 800-247-6789

Duluth, MN – Whole Person Associates proudly announces the publication of Mindfulness for Emerging Adults by Donna Torney, MA, LMHC, RYT.

Mindfulness for Emerging Adults explores the task of becoming an adult in the twenty-first century. Advances in neuroscience underline the imperative to see mindfulness and other contemplative practices as indispensable life skills. These ancient and now rigorously researched practices are more important than ever in our age of accelerated change, media overload, and chronic busyness. The scientific community has now provided unrefuted evidence that these practices create positive change in the mind and body. By exploring and adopting mindfulness and other contemplative practices which the author calls Center Points, emerging adults can forge a path to find authentic identity and healthy personal and community connections, creating a good life in the digital age.

For the emerging adult (somewhere between 19 and 30) the mindfulness skills learned in this book will help take control of stress and manage difficult emotions. Donna leads the reader to become grounded in the present moment and experiencing more ease, contentment, and life satisfaction – a state that positive psychologists refer to as well-being. Throughout the book, highlighted sections entitled Voices of Emerging Adults tell the stories of typical young adult struggles. These stories are a composite of tales Donna hears in her private therapy practice, with details changed to protect privacy. The most common themes are highlighted, such as finding intimacy in a digital world, managing debt, finding a fruitful and worthwhile career path, managing difficult emotions, and practicing self-care. Mindfulness for Emerging Adults will inspire hope in young adults looking for the good life.

This book is written for parents, teachers, counselors or other mentors of young adults as well as the emerging adults themselves.  Highlighted sections entitled Thoughts for Mentors will guide mentors to better relate to young adult challenges. By listening to the voices of modern young adults and comparing their stories to the timeless developmental challenges of past generations, readers will be able to build greater understanding of the perennial journey to adulthood.

“Mindfulness for Emerging Adults is a must read that will capture your attention! This engaging guide is concise yet comprehensive, with intriguing and immediately applicable exercises. Donna Torney masterfully highlights how to weave the time tested, powerful, and evidence-based concepts of mindfulness into today’s rapidly changing, digitally-oriented world. She successfully translates sophisticated scientific constructs and contemplative practices into understandable terms and relevant tactics.”
-Karen Doll, PsyD

 

About the author:

Donna TorneyDonna Torney is a licensed psychotherapist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She uses mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and other mindfulness informed tools to treat teens, emerging adults, and mature adults who are seeking to manage anxiety, depression, trauma, and interpersonal struggles. In addition to her formal training in psychological counseling, Donna has studied with many leaders in the fields of contemplative neuroscience, yoga therapy, and meditation. She is passionate about combining Western psychology with researched contemplative practices to offer a unique approach to therapy and wellness. Donna Torney is available for speaking engagements. She can be reached at donnatorney.com.