The Three Essentials of Attraction

What Every Successful Presenter Knows: The Three Essentials of Attraction
By Izzy Gesell

Visit Izzy’s website.

“Energy Manager” is one of the many roles a presenter plays when speaking in front of a group. We know, as do the folks who ask us to present, that the attendees at a program experience one of two energy flow states. At just about any moment, they’re either being energized or they are being drained of their liveliness.

Essential 1: Vulnerability

When I was studying comedy writing and performance at the New School in New York City, I struggled to muster the courage necessary to manifest the “stand-up” part of stand-up comedy. I was writing well but remained terrified of getting up on stage to present my material. One evening I asked the teacher to reveal the secret to me. “How do I overcome my fear of getting up on stage?” I inquired of George Q. Lewis, the magical man who had written for Red Skelton and Bob Hope and who was now teaching the class. He put his Styrofoam cup of coffee down, looked me in the eye and said, “You don’t overcome your fear. You bring it up on stage with you. That’s what people are interested in.”

He understood that audiences want to know how we’ve dealt with the problems in our lives and what we have to teach them. No comedian comes out and says “Good evening! My life is great, things are smooth, and the trust fund check always arrives on time. Can you relate?” Comedians come out and speak rather to the fears and frustrations they (and we) encounter: politics, relationships, self-esteem, etc. The audience nods and says to itself, “Yeah, me too. What did you do about it?”

Wise Mr. Lewis showed me that audiences relate to the struggles in life. They are there for guidance as well as laughter. They relate to us through the challenges we have encountered. We relate to them through storytelling. I believe the magic of storytelling lies in the fact that when we tell our own story we are sharing an individual experience. Yet, as we tell it and it travels from our lips to the ears, hearts and minds of our audiences, the story trans forms from being one person’s experience to one that contains a universal truth. Many in the audience can relate to that universal truth. We start out sharing our vulnerability and end up discovering a source of our strength. They are both the same.

Essential 2: Presence

Our presence is what attracts the audience to us. It is the magnet that pulls their attention towards us, that quality of poise and effectiveness that enables a presenter to achieve a close relationship with an audience. The energy in the room is fueled by our presence. If we are to be considered an “attraction,” it is our presence that makes us so.

A means to developing presence is learning to be in the moment, to “be in the here and now.” Wonderful opportunities to develop this quality offer themselves to me whenever I am at a professional gathering or a social event. As I’m talking to a friend or new acquaintance in the hallway of the hotel or the kitchen, I see out of the corner of my eye someone else I am dying to speak to. Each time I resist the urge to let my attention drift from the person I’m speaking to, I enhance my presence. Each time I refocus my awareness to the one I am with, I bring myself to the present. The greatest gift I can give myself or my audience is my presence. If you need basic “presence” training, I encourage you to enroll in an improv theater class.

As you develop your presence, you gain the benefit of “gravitas.” Communication expert Karen Cortell Reisman considers “gravitas” to be a vital element of a successful keynote speech. What is it? Merriam-Webster dictionary defines gravitas as the “condition of wakefulness, steadiness and equanimity derived from disciplined practice of presence.” It is the environment in which our magic is spun.

Essential 3: Spontaneity

We demonstrate the elements of poise and effectiveness to our audiences in what we do and how we react to unexpected situations. When we are on the platform, standing in front of our audiences, we are in a leadership position, both actually and metaphorically. They look to

us very intently during situations that are unexpected in either their timing or impact. What are they looking for? They want to see how we respond spontaneously. Spontaneity is a skill that enhances presence and, as paradoxical as it seems, spontaneity can be practiced. In fact, in order to become spontaneous, you must practice spontaneity.

Blocks to spontaneity occur when thinking takes the place of acting from natural feeling. Spontaneous responses never seem contrived or manipulated. They seem natural because they are unaffected. You can’t worry about what people are going to think. You know very well that

people are going to think what they want to, based on their own perceptions of the truth. You may as well act from your own heart, soul and experience. If you are going to go down, you may as well go down with your own truth.

Try This:

“Radio Announcer” is a game I use to practice spontaneity. It can be played while driving, walking, typing at your computer or even sitting somewhere with nothing to do, like at an airport after your flight has been cancelled and you have a four-hour layover.

Begin to objectively describe, out loud, whatever is coming into your field of awareness. No thoughts, no judgments, no explanations. Allow for as much stream of consciousness reporting as possible. Here is a transcript of part one of my experiences playing the game while driving on an Interstate.

“I’m just passing mile marker 114. There is a red car coming up on my left. I can’t tell what it is but it’s going faster than I am. It’s passing me now. It’s an SUV of some kind. Connecticut plates. The Constitution State. Blue plate. A little bit of ice is still hanging from the rocks on the sides of the road. Sun is shining, blue sky. Truck has flashers blinking going up the hill. I’m passing him. The woman in the car next to me is wearing a green hat and sunglasses. I like this song on the radio. There is a CD on the floor….”

You get the idea. Play this game for about two to three minutes at a time.

So What?

We can nurture the three elements that help make us real, the three fundamental aspects of authenticity that make us attractive to the audience: vulnerability, presence and spontaneity. When the audience is charged by our presence and the attention is directed toward us, we are where we want to be and they are where we want them! This is what is meant by “holding the audience’s attention.”

Check out Izzy’s book, Playing Along on our website.

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