{"id":663,"date":"2012-06-29T09:12:30","date_gmt":"2012-06-29T14:12:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/?p=663"},"modified":"2012-06-29T09:12:30","modified_gmt":"2012-06-29T14:12:30","slug":"why-you-gotta-be-so-mean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/why-you-gotta-be-so-mean","title":{"rendered":"Why You Gotta Be So Mean?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/converting-anger-to-laughter\/leigh-anne-photo-1\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-609\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"609\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/converting-anger-to-laughter\/leigh-anne-photo-1\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"2100,1400\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Leigh Anne Jasheway\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Leigh Anne Jasheway&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Author Leigh Anne Jasheway&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-300x200.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-1024x682.jpg\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-609\" title=\"Leigh Anne Jasheway\" src=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Leigh Anne Jasheway\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Leigh-Anne-photo-1-450x300.jpg 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>The talented Taylor Swift has a great song called <em>Mean<\/em>, with lyrics that include:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 120px;\"><em>You, with your words like knives<br \/>\nAnd swords and weapons that you use against me<br \/>\nYou have knocked me off my feet again<br \/>\nGot me feeling like I&#8217;m nothing\u2026<br \/>\nWhy you gotta be so mean?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve all heard sad and horrible stories of bullying and cyber-bullying among kids and teens, but the fact is, for many, the bullying never stops. I believe that even those of us who were nicer once find it increasingly hard to avoid the mean-spiritedness that is too often the norm in today\u2019s world. When I recently did an Internet search for \u201cHow to become less mean-spirited,\u201d I found an online forum debating whether Internet users are more or less rude than they were in the past (there wasn\u2019t a consensus, but many of the participants were rude in their comments about the subject), a host of articles on negative politics, and two online articles on how to become less sensitive. Maybe we\u2019re not too sensitive; maybe people are just too mean.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not hard to see why meanness has become so prevalent. Look at the role models we have these days:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Many people start their days off by listening to mean-spirited people on talk radio or television. These \u201chosts\u201d make it seem \u201cnormal\u201d to demean callers and in-studio guests, to cut people off mid-sentence, and to shout in order to be heard over the din;<\/li>\n<li>Reality television goes for the drama by focusing on the basest, ugliest personalities, those who consider throwing a drink or a punch the go-to when circumstances don\u2019t go their way; and<\/li>\n<li>The semi-anonymity that allows kids to cyber-bully is just as present for those of who are \u201cgrown up.\u201d People online regularly call each other words that used to be considered the ultimate put-downs and say that they don\u2019t mean anything by it\u2014that those words have become part of everyday language and no longer carry the sting they used to. The list of common computer acronyms includes 182 (I hate you), DIAF (Die in a fire), DILLIGAS (Do I look like I give a s*#t?) and STBY (Sucks to be you), among others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When Beaver Cleaver has been replaced by the South Park gang, is it any wonder we feel it hard to be nice? To prevent falling into the \u201cmeanie\u201d trap, try some of these:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Focus your jokes on yourself or situations and don\u2019t mock other people in your life. Any time you say, \u201cCan\u2019t you take a joke?\u201d you\u2019ve slipped into mean-spiritedness.<\/li>\n<li>Put your shopping cart back where it belongs instead of leaving it in the middle of a parking spot.<\/li>\n<li>Leave the last donut or pizza slice for someone else.<\/li>\n<li>The next time someone calls you at dinnertime to ask you to switch phone companies or help with a survey, keep in mind that the person calling is just doing a job. Don\u2019t take out your annoyance on them; instead, politely ask them to call you back later or take you off their list. Or use tactic #1:\u00a0 make \u2018em laugh.<\/li>\n<li>Let a few cars enter the freeway in front of you.<\/li>\n<li>Learn the names of people you have regular interactions with at the gas station, the dry cleaners, the coffee shop, etc. Calling someone by name is a great way to show you care.<\/li>\n<li>Refrain from mowing your lawn or using your weed eater or leaf blower early on weekend mornings.<\/li>\n<li>For no reason at all, show up at a friend\u2019s house with a pie. And remember, you don\u2019t have to have made the pie yourself for this to be a delightful surprise.<\/li>\n<li>Be especially nice to people who are having horrible days and to horrible people. Even if they\u2019re never nice back, you\u2019ll know you added some positive energy to the world.<\/li>\n<li>Set a goal to refrain from using your favorite not-so-nice words for a week. Here are a few you could cut from your vocabulary:\u00a0 idiot, jerk, moron, stupid\u2026 Create a punishment for each time you fall back into old habits and a reward for when you succeed in your goal.<\/li>\n<li>Offer to take the next elevator if there are many people waiting to get on and it\u2019s already almost full.<\/li>\n<li>Offer to pick up a few things for a neighbor or co-worker while you\u2019re out running errands.<\/li>\n<li>Smile for no reason. As the day drags on, we tend to develop irritable scowl syndrome. A nice smile can help turn the day around for the smiler and the smilee.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t honk unless you\u2019re trying to prevent an accident.<\/li>\n<li>Walk up to complete strangers and compliment them on their clothing. Remember the last time someone you didn\u2019t know complimented you on something?\u00a0 It made you feel really nice inside, right? Do the same for someone else today.<\/li>\n<li>Ask a child or teenager (yours or a friend\u2019s) his or her thoughts on something and really listen to the answer. Too often, children feel they don\u2019t matter. Go out of your way to let them know they do.<\/li>\n<li>Let someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store, especially if it\u2019s obvious they\u2019re in a hurry and you are not.<\/li>\n<li>When making sandwiches for lunch, make an extra to give to a homeless person you pass every day in your car. Take your children with you to help teach them the value of being nice to people who are down on their luck.<\/li>\n<li>If you tend to be sarcastic, try to change your habit. A good way to start is to ask yourself how often after you\u2019ve said something snippy, you\u2019ve ended up feeling ashamed and guilty afterward. The best part of being nice to people is that you never feel bad about your behavior afterward.<\/li>\n<li>Replace any mean-spirited bumper stickers on your car with ones that are nicer, such as \u201cMagic happens,\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t postpone joy.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>When you\u2019ve had good service, fill out one of those service cards they often have at restaurants and hotels. Most people don\u2019t take the time to fill them out unless things have gone badly.<\/li>\n<li>When your child gets his or her report card, send it back with a thank you note for the teacher.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>\u00a9 2012 <a title=\"Leigh Anne Jasheway\" href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/store\/leigh-anne-jasheway-bryant.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Leigh Anne Jasheway<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The talented Taylor Swift has a great song called Mean, with lyrics that include: You, with your words like knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again Got me feeling like I&#8217;m nothing\u2026 Why you gotta be so mean? We\u2019ve all heard sad and horrible [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,27,311,310,309],"class_list":["post-663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-bullying","tag-humor","tag-meanness","tag-sensitive","tag-why-you-gotta-be-so-mean"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why You Gotta Be So Mean? - The Wellness Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/why-you-gotta-be-so-mean\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why You Gotta Be So Mean? - The Wellness Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The talented Taylor Swift has a great song called Mean, with lyrics that include: You, with your words like knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again Got me feeling like I&#8217;m nothing\u2026 Why you gotta be so mean? 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