{"id":457,"date":"2012-01-17T11:16:02","date_gmt":"2012-01-17T16:16:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/?p=457"},"modified":"2012-01-27T10:29:11","modified_gmt":"2012-01-27T15:29:11","slug":"parents-role-models-for-childrens-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/parents-role-models-for-childrens-behavior","title":{"rendered":"Parents role models for children\u2019s behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Kids learn more from you, especially at earlier ages, than from any other source<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Teaching kids how to manage their stress is a gift that will pay them dividends for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n<p>First build them a Stress Safety Net (SSN) so they can feel safe, secure and loved. This creates a springboard from which they can launch into their challenges and opportunities. The first component of this SSN is \u201cParents as Role Models,\u201d (adapted from my audio program, \u201cTeaching Kids how to Manage Stress.\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Parents are their children\u2019s number one role models. Kids learn more from you, especially at earlier ages, than from any other source. What has your own stress management style taught your children, who learn from both your effective and ineffective strategies? How you communicate, manage your emotions and handle conflicts teach your children something.<\/p>\n<p>To become conscious of what you\u2019re teaching your kids, ask yourself, \u201cIs how I\u2019m handling this stressful situation how I want to teach my kids to handle similar situations?\u201d If not, you need to learn to better handle it yourself. You cannot teach what you don\u2019t understand, so learn and practice stress reduction skills for yourself. Your children will learn from your example.<\/p>\n<p>An essential tool to improve what you model is to understand that the role you play with your children largely dictates their role in reaction to you. A change in your role almost always brings about a change in your child\u2019s behavior. For example, if you constantly remind your kids to do their homework \u2013 the reminder role &#8211; they\u2019ll react by taking on the role of forgetful or dutiful child perhaps. If you\u2019re not happy with the forgetful role you may nag that child to remind her to do her homework. But your reminder role keeps her in her forgetful role!<\/p>\n<p>The point? To get a different outcome with her change the role you\u2019re playing: stop reminding. Identify and announce a different role that would encourage her to take more responsibility like the supportive role. Only step in to help her with homework when she asks. This new role requires you to stop reminding her. If she chooses to forget she\u2019ll pay the consequences. She\u2019ll probably blame you for her own forgetfulness but don\u2019t get hooked by that. One day she\u2019ll figure out that you truly have stopped reminding leaving her to remind herself.<\/p>\n<p>In situations that your kids aren\u2019t handling well figure out if the role you\u2019re playing makes you part of the solution or part of the problem. If part of the problem, which other role could you play to encourage your kids to handle the situation more responsibly? If your child has been accused of stealing again and you normally play the protector role shielding them from consequences by denying their culpability, could you take on the investigator role instead and look for the facts before deciding how to handle it?<\/p>\n<p>Understanding that the roles you play actually set the stage for your kids\u2019 behavior opens up entirely new options in changing yourself in hopes of encouraging more responsible behavior from them.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/entitlements-don%e2%80%99t-come-without-responsibilities\/jacquelyn-ferguson\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-26\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"26\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/entitlements-dont-come-without-responsibilities\/jacquelyn-ferguson\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Jacquelyn-Ferguson.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"123,150\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Jacquelyn Ferguson\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Jacquelyn Ferguson&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Jacquelyn-Ferguson.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Jacquelyn-Ferguson.jpg\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-26\" title=\"Jacquelyn Ferguson\" src=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Jacquelyn-Ferguson.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"123\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/store\/let-your-body-win.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S.<\/a>, is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kids learn more from you, especially at earlier ages, than from any other source Teaching kids how to manage their stress is a gift that will pay them dividends for the rest of their lives. First build them a Stress Safety Net (SSN) so they can feel safe, secure and loved. This creates a springboard [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[202,52,200,133,115,201,221,10,8],"class_list":["post-457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-behavior","tag-children","tag-jackie-ferguson","tag-kids","tag-parents","tag-role-models","tag-ssn","tag-stress","tag-wellness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Parents role models for children\u2019s behavior - The Wellness Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/parents-role-models-for-childrens-behavior\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parents role models for children\u2019s behavior - The Wellness Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Kids learn more from you, especially at earlier ages, than from any other source Teaching kids how to manage their stress is a gift that will pay them dividends for the rest of their lives. 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