2. Percent Ever Divorced<\/strong>. This is the percentage of ever-divorced adults in a population.
3. Refined Divorce Rate<\/strong>. This is the number of divorces per 1,000 married women.
4. Cohort Measure Rate<\/strong>. This is the \u201c40-50 percent\u201d number that most people cite. It is not a hard, objective number, but an educated projection. It is calculated by looking at a particular \u201ccohort\u201d\u2014a large group of people marrying within a particular measure of time\u2014relative to general life-tables. In short, it comes from looking at divorce trends of the last few decades (those of earlier cohorts) and applying these numbers to couples marrying today, the current cohort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two experts, the University of Denver\u2019s Scott Stanley and Dr. Paul Amato of the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center believe that the current divorce rate is 40 to 45%. They also forecast that as baby-boomers (who have maintained the highest divorce rate ever) age out of the model that percentage will continue to go down dramatically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I ready to become part of that static as my relationship seems to be unreparable? Is there anything that can help make that awful decision to divorce or not to divorce easier? No. Is there a way to clarify your position in your mind? Yes. Ask yourself the following questions. Ponder your answers deeply. Write them down. Put them away for a week and read them again. The questions will point you in the right direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t be hesitant about seeking a professional who can help you determine what your answers are really telling you. Even if you must go by yourself, find an expert in marital counseling and wholeheartedly participate. This is a time to be brutally honest with yourself and those around you. It is also a time to prepare for the future. Being sure about the direction your marriage takes will help you take the next steps knowing you\u2019ve made the right choice. Good Luck!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To Stay or to Go?<\/h1>\n\n\n\nExcerpted from Family Breakup and Survival<\/a>
by Ester R.A. Leutenberg<\/a> and John J. Liptak, EdD<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\nYou got to know when to hold ’em; know when to fold ’em . . .\u201d
~ Kenny Rogers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n![\"rog](\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/rog-peg-edited.bmp\")
A happy couple<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nEnding a committed relationship is a di\ufb03cult and emotional decision. As you think about staying or leaving, focus on the impact of your decision for yourself, your partner and your family. Instead of thinking only about breaking up as a yes or no, evaluate the quality of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are aspects to consider about your present situation. Read the questions and write your answers down. Be clear, be honest, be fair. After you have completed the list, put it away for a few days. Take it out and reread what you wrote. Have you changed your mind? Take the answers with you when you go to a family counselor and get help determining what they might mean. Let the answers help you decide your next step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n- Trust \u2013 How safe do you feel physically?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Trust\u2014How safe do you feel emotionally?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Safety\u2013 How safe do you feel sexually?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Love\u2013 Is your love romantic, platonic, intermittent, evaporating, or other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Cooperation\u2013 How do you help each other with day-to-day responsibilities?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect does your partner have for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect do you have for your partner?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How are you and your partner \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2014How are you and your partner not \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How would you describe your sex life?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication\u2013 Do you talk to each other about finances?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication \u2013 Are you only sharing information or are you able to discuss feelings, worries, and excitement?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Values \u2013 How much do you agree on ethical and moral issues? How does that influence your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Religion and spirituality\u2013 Do you share a religious and\/or spiritual belief system. If you do not, how that works in your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Raising children\u2013 If you have children, describe how you have or have not been able to \ufb01nd common ground regarding discipline, guidance, medical decisions, educational plans and goals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Family of origin relationships \u2013 Do you believe you and\/or your partner are more loyal to your own families\u2013of-origin than to each other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-law relationships \u2013 How have you or have you not worked out relationships that avoid high levels of conflict with each other’s families?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-Law relationships\u2013 Do you have close relationships with your in-laws? Is that likely to continue if your relationship breaks up? Why or why not?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 Are you both contributing to the family economy, either by working outside the home or inside? How does that work for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on methods of spending money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on a budget for saving money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you and your partner stick to the issue at hand when you argue?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you or your partner bring up wrong-doings of the past when arguing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Does your fighting ever become physical?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 When you are arguing with your partner, how safe does everyone in your family feel?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be better without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be worse without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n
by Ester R.A. Leutenberg<\/a> and John J. Liptak, EdD<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
You got to know when to hold ’em; know when to fold ’em . . .\u201d
~ Kenny Rogers<\/h3>\n\n\n\nA happy couple<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nEnding a committed relationship is a di\ufb03cult and emotional decision. As you think about staying or leaving, focus on the impact of your decision for yourself, your partner and your family. Instead of thinking only about breaking up as a yes or no, evaluate the quality of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are aspects to consider about your present situation. Read the questions and write your answers down. Be clear, be honest, be fair. After you have completed the list, put it away for a few days. Take it out and reread what you wrote. Have you changed your mind? Take the answers with you when you go to a family counselor and get help determining what they might mean. Let the answers help you decide your next step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n- Trust \u2013 How safe do you feel physically?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Trust\u2014How safe do you feel emotionally?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Safety\u2013 How safe do you feel sexually?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Love\u2013 Is your love romantic, platonic, intermittent, evaporating, or other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Cooperation\u2013 How do you help each other with day-to-day responsibilities?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect does your partner have for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect do you have for your partner?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How are you and your partner \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2014How are you and your partner not \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How would you describe your sex life?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication\u2013 Do you talk to each other about finances?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication \u2013 Are you only sharing information or are you able to discuss feelings, worries, and excitement?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Values \u2013 How much do you agree on ethical and moral issues? How does that influence your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Religion and spirituality\u2013 Do you share a religious and\/or spiritual belief system. If you do not, how that works in your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Raising children\u2013 If you have children, describe how you have or have not been able to \ufb01nd common ground regarding discipline, guidance, medical decisions, educational plans and goals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Family of origin relationships \u2013 Do you believe you and\/or your partner are more loyal to your own families\u2013of-origin than to each other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-law relationships \u2013 How have you or have you not worked out relationships that avoid high levels of conflict with each other’s families?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-Law relationships\u2013 Do you have close relationships with your in-laws? Is that likely to continue if your relationship breaks up? Why or why not?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 Are you both contributing to the family economy, either by working outside the home or inside? How does that work for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on methods of spending money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on a budget for saving money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you and your partner stick to the issue at hand when you argue?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you or your partner bring up wrong-doings of the past when arguing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Does your fighting ever become physical?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 When you are arguing with your partner, how safe does everyone in your family feel?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be better without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be worse without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n
Ending a committed relationship is a di\ufb03cult and emotional decision. As you think about staying or leaving, focus on the impact of your decision for yourself, your partner and your family. Instead of thinking only about breaking up as a yes or no, evaluate the quality of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are aspects to consider about your present situation. Read the questions and write your answers down. Be clear, be honest, be fair. After you have completed the list, put it away for a few days. Take it out and reread what you wrote. Have you changed your mind? Take the answers with you when you go to a family counselor and get help determining what they might mean. Let the answers help you decide your next step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- Trust \u2013 How safe do you feel physically?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Trust\u2014How safe do you feel emotionally?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Safety\u2013 How safe do you feel sexually?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Love\u2013 Is your love romantic, platonic, intermittent, evaporating, or other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Cooperation\u2013 How do you help each other with day-to-day responsibilities?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect does your partner have for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Respect\u2013 What level of respect do you have for your partner?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How are you and your partner \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2014How are you and your partner not \u201cin sync\u201d about intimacy and sex?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Physical intimacy\u2013 How would you describe your sex life?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication\u2013 Do you talk to each other about finances?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Communication \u2013 Are you only sharing information or are you able to discuss feelings, worries, and excitement?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Values \u2013 How much do you agree on ethical and moral issues? How does that influence your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Religion and spirituality\u2013 Do you share a religious and\/or spiritual belief system. If you do not, how that works in your relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Raising children\u2013 If you have children, describe how you have or have not been able to \ufb01nd common ground regarding discipline, guidance, medical decisions, educational plans and goals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Family of origin relationships \u2013 Do you believe you and\/or your partner are more loyal to your own families\u2013of-origin than to each other?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-law relationships \u2013 How have you or have you not worked out relationships that avoid high levels of conflict with each other’s families?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In-Law relationships\u2013 Do you have close relationships with your in-laws? Is that likely to continue if your relationship breaks up? Why or why not?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 Are you both contributing to the family economy, either by working outside the home or inside? How does that work for you?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on methods of spending money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Finances\u2013 How do you agree or disagree on a budget for saving money?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you and your partner stick to the issue at hand when you argue?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Do you or your partner bring up wrong-doings of the past when arguing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 Does your fighting ever become physical?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Arguing\u2013 When you are arguing with your partner, how safe does everyone in your family feel?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be better without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Future\u2013 How do you believe your life (and that of your children, if applicable) would be worse without this committed relationship?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n
![\"Family](\"https:\/\/wholeperson.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Family-Breakup-and-Survival-237x300.gif\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"